Shattered By The Mafia

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5 I tried so hard to forget

Chapter 5 I tried so hard to forget.
Jaxson pov


Liv is yelling curses behind me when I drag her out of the room and into the kitchen, but I’m too fucking pissed off to care. Isaac comes back like life is a fucking party and starts drinking. Then he starts flirting with Liv when he should focus on resting. I know Isaac, and in his thoughts, Liv was already naked in his bed.

“What the fuck Jaxson!” She yells, slapping my arm, and I spin around, glaring down at her.

“Never hit me again, you got a pass the last time, but you won’t get another one!” I hiss at her, and she snorts like a little brat.

“What’s your problem?” She asks me, and I press my lips into a thin line.
“So now you got nothing to say?” She hisses like the angry cat she can be. I look into her eyes, then down at her lips, and she smirks.

“See something you want?” She asks in a teasing tone, and I scoff.
“So if I went down on my knees here in front of you, would you fuck my mouth?” She purrs, and my dick twitches in my pants. I let her go and take a step back, giving her a bored look.

“I can always ask Isaac.” She says and turns her back to me. Anger flares inside my chest, and I grab her and spin her around, pressing her ass against the kitchen counter. Pulling up her short white dress over her ass, I force her legs apart and slip my hand in between her thighs. She sucks in a deep breath, her blue eyes glaring at me when I let my fingers trace her lace panties. I rub my hard length against her thigh and put pressure against her entrance, hard enough for the material to start soaking up the slickness.

“Stay away from Isaac.” I snarl in her face.
“Never tell me what to do!” She hisses back, and I yank the material of her panties to the side and let two fingers enter her.

“Fuck!” She digs her nails into my arm. I start moving my hand fast, making sure to rub her clit at the same time. It doesn’t take long before she is squirming and panting, her hot breath against my neck as I take her to the place I want her. A dead fucking end, like Max said. When I feel her inside tighten, I pull my hand away and step away from her.

“You are dripping all over the floor.” I tell her with a smirk, and her eyes widen, then they turn angry. Chuckling, I turn around and see Isaac watch us from the door. He’s leaning against the door frame with a teasing smile on his lips. Fuck, did he hear what I said to Liv? Ignoring Liv telling me to go and fuck myself, I walk past Isaac and up to my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

“Damn! “I yell and slump down on the bed. Laying down, I let my feet hang over the edge of the bed, touching the floor. I focus on breathing, trying to forget that Isaac will live in the house with us. I should move home again, but I don’t trust Max to deal with himself yet. Ten minutes later, the door to my room opens, but I stay put. I know it is Isaac. Who else would it be? It’s not like Liv will beg me to finish her off.

“That was interesting to watch.” He says, and I groan internally. Why the fuck did I say: stay away from Isaac? I hear him walk closer, then his knee brushes against mine, but I refuse to look at him. I can’t look at him.

“What the fuck is going on with you?” He asks, and I make a huffing sound. When I don’t answer, he sits down beside me. His thigh brushing against the side of my ribs.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, and he chuckles.
“Better now when I got a beer and entertainment.”

“Fuck you!” I say and sit up and glare at him. His head is too damn close to mine for it to be a good thing, and I have to fight the urge to lean in closer.

“Max told me that you had a couple of rough weeks.” He says, his light blue eyes looking straight at me, and I swallow hard. My throat feels thick with all the things I feel and want to tell him.

“I’m not complaining. You are the one who almost died.” I say, feeling guilty all over again, and he chuckles before placing a hand on my shoulder.

“You don’t get rid of me that easily.” His eyes flicker down to my lips.

“I fucking noticed.” I mutter, feeling like a sour kid. I tried hard to get over him, but the feelings are still there. The damn attraction we have for each other is still there, very much alive, and it is more than hard to resist. He leans closer, and I hold my breath.

“So tell me Jax, is the woman not allowed to touch me because you want her for yourself? Or because you want me?” His questions catch me completely off guard, and I open my mouth to tell him to leave but close it again.

“She’s a bitch.” I say, and he smiles, clearly amused.
“Well, we get what we deserve, don’t we?”

The word makes me cringe because they are far from true. Isaac never deserved this or what I did to him. He leans closer, and I turn my head away, sighing. He leans his forehead against the side of my head. His warm breath flows over my ear, making my skin prickle.

“Do you want me to beg you?” He asks, and I let out a small bitter laugh.
“No, I don’t want you to do anything.” I say even though the words hurt to say. He presses his lips against my cheek, and my whole body tenses up.

“Don’t be like that. You want it just as much as I do.” He says and kisses his way down to my neck. Fighting my body’s reaction to him, I clench my hands into fists. But like always, when it comes to Isaac, it’s a lost cause.

“I don’t want it.” I say, and he places a hand on my growing erection.
“Yeah, I believe you.”

I grab his hand to pull it away, and he grabs my dick through my pants, squeezing me to the point where it starts to hurt. A groan escapes me, and he smiles against my neck.

“We can’t do this.” I say, trying to talk some sense into myself.
“It wasn’t your fault.” He tells me and moves his hand, stroking me through my pants. Irritated, I pull his hand away and stand up.

“Don’t say stupid shit like that! Of course it was my fault.” I yell, and he stands up to his full height, which is a few inches taller than me.

“I took it too far too fast, I get it, and I’m sorry.” He tells me, and more guilt floods me.
“Stop!” I growl at him, and he sighs.

“Come on Jax, talk to me.” He begs, and I snort.
“Just leave me the fuck alone.”

I say, looking down at the floor, and he grabs the back of my neck, pulling me to him. His hard chest gets pressed against mine, and then his lips are on my mouth, and even though I should stop, I can’t. I kiss him back, and he squeezes my neck harder.

“Fuck you for being an asshole!” He mutters against my lips, and I deepen the kiss to shut him up. My fingers are itching to touch his body, but I can’t because I’m too damn scared that I would hurt him. He opens my pants and reaches inside my boxer.

“I fucking knew that you missed me too.” He says, smirking when he wraps his hand around my rock-hard erection. I need to stop this before… My thoughts get interrupted when he, with a firm grip on me, starts moving up and down my length.

“Fuck Isaac.”

I pull his shirt over his head. He only lets go of me for a few seconds to drop the shirt to the floor then his hand is wrapped around my cock again, moving with fast and hard movements. Placing one hand behind his neck, I pull his head to me and catch his lips with mine, kissing him hard and deep, the pent-up emotions fueling the kiss.

Our tongues wrestle for dominance, and the lust makes me dizzy, stronger than I thought was possible. My free hand wanders down over his chest, over his hard abs. I feel the muscles flex under my fingers, the memories of his body against mine take over all thoughts. The memories I tried so hard to forget. But all it took was him coming to my room, and five minutes later, I’m reaching inside his pants. His shaft is hard and hot with lust when I touch him.

“I missed this.” He says in a groan when I wrap my hand around him and start moving my hand at the same pace as he is working me. Our lips crash against each other again, now even rougher than before. My phone starts buzzing in the pocket of my jeans that are hanging below my ass, but I ignore it. All I can think about is Isaac. The buzzing sound goes silent, only to start again.

“Fuck!” I curse and take a step away from him, breathing hard, I pick up my phone, and Isaac sighs.
“What?!” I scream into the phone, and Isaac raises one eyebrow at me.

“One of the warehouses in the UK has been blown to bits.” I hear one of my guys in the UK say.
“What? When?” I ask, trying to control my heavy breathing.

“Less than one hour ago, the warehouse was empty.”
“Was it the Mexicans?” I ask, looking up at Isaac and see a muscle in his jaw tick.

“You know what to do. I will go and talk to Max. Keep me updated.” I say and hang up, looking at Isaac.
“At least one of us got save by the Mexicans.” He says with a teasing grin and starts to close his jeans.

“It’s not funny, so just don’t.” I say and pull my pants up, feeling both disappointed and relieved.
“I rather joke about it than just shut it inside.” He tells me and picks up his shirt from the floor.

“I’m not like you!” I snap at him, and he sighs.
“I’m pretty fucking awesome, but the guy I want is better.” He says, and I look at him. He gives me that teasing smile I love, and I feel my eyes sting, so I look away.

“If you don’t want me here, just fucking say so and don’t be a bitch about it, but don’t you dare lie to me.” He says, suddenly angry, and I look back at him.

“I, its, fuck. I need to go.” I say and leave the room just like a little bitch would. I hear him slam his fist into the door when I close it behind me and walk to Max’s office.

Guilt and regret are gnawing inside me when I walk towards his office. I shouldn’t have done that. I can’t be close to Isaac, I don’t want to hurt him, but for some reason, that is all I do. I was nagging Max about Gabi, and now I’m doing pretty much what he did. But this is different. I almost killed Isaac because I lost it. Because I couldn’t let him fuck me. I wanted to, but when we started, something snapped inside me.

All the memories from when I was a kid and what my dad used to do to me came back, hitting me like a damn truck, and I just exploded. I wasn’t angry at Isaac, but I took out all that anger on the guy I love. I don’t want that to happen again. I can’t let that happen again, so it is better to stay away from him.


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