Those words that came out of his mouth instantly reminded me of HIM.
I had never been so scared in my life. When he asked why I swore, i could see THAT day flash before my eyes.
I couldn't realise where I was. All I saw was that dark room. No light, no anything. The only sounds that were there were my cries for help. But no matter how loud, or how many times I asked him to stop... he wouldn't.
I walked out of the room and tears immediately formed in my eyes.
"Um, Daniel?" Cassy and Daniel both look at me and do a double take.
"Babes?" Cassidy says.
"Adira?" Daniel says at the same time.
"May I please borrow Cassidy for a moment?" They looked at eachother in horror, probably at my state. They both furrowed their eyebrows in worry and Cassy looked at Daniel which nodded.
"Yes of course Adira." Daniel says. Cassy comes up to me and hugs me. I instantly relax and place my forehead on her shoulder, hugging her tight.
"Let's go." She whispers in my ear. We head to the garden and I breathe in the fresh scent of the flowers and air.
"What happened?" I look at Cassy and she has a frown on her face.
"I just had a little panic Cassy. Its nothing" I say with a sigh.
"You were crying Adira. All my life I have never seen you cry. Why now?" She says and she was right. But why? I don't know.
"Does it have something to do with Damien? What happened in that room?" I stayed quiet in thought. Damien... his name gives my butterflies.
"You had sex with him..."
I look at Cassy that is eyeing me warily. I can FEEL how that sounds with my name. It doesn't sound right but it is true.
"Yeah... I did..." I whisper.
"Why did you let him Adira? I thought you didn't trust any man." She says, I sigh and look up at the sky.
"I don't know Cassidy. I think I trust him." I whisper the last part to myself. I could feel her gaze on my face. It wasn't of worry though, it was her 'impressed' face.
'You love him, don't you?' She says and I look at her as if she was stupid. And then it disappears in the instant the words sink into my brain.
'I love him.' I repeat in my head.
'I love him?' I repeat doubting myself. Do I even know what love is?
"I don't know Cassy. What is love? I don't know what the hell it is." Cassidy smiles at me and puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Love can mean a lot of things Adira. In this case, It can mean when develop a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone or an intense feeling of deep affection." Her words are felt deep in me. Have I had love in me all this time?
"Have you felt any of these things."
"Every single one of them." I say not bothering denying them. She smiles even more now.
"You my friend, are in love with Damien." She says with a click in the tongue. Is this what this strange feeling is? Love? Damien feels this strange feeling too, could he be in love with me?
"But why did you cry Adira?" She asks and my nostrils start to flare. It's his fault. It's his fault I am like this.
"Do you know how I don't swear at people?" She nods.
"Well that mothertrucker that raped me was swearing while doing it to me. I let it slip a few times with Damien and when he asked why I was swearing, all I saw was that day. I was frightened. I have only cried twice. That day and today." I say and she looks at me with sympathy and rubs my back.
"Please don't. I hate the sympathy from anyone." I say and she nods and sighs.
"Damien is a nice guy Adira. I know you may not feel that way, but me and Daniel talk about the both of you all the time." She says.
"Good things I suppose?" I tease jokingly and she laughs.
"Yes. All good. Daniel said that Damien has never been this way. When he wanted you specifically, he saw something in you. Daniel said that he would just pick any Sub, but this time, you changed him. Not another woman. Take this opportunity to forget about that idiot in your past and focus on the present. Although the past will haunt you sometimes, you will need someone to get through it with you. I won't always be there for you Adira, but he will." I look at Cassidy and there is nothing but sincerity in her words.
"Yeah... I guess you're right." I say looking back at the garden and sigh.
"Are you going to tell him?"
"Maybe. He will probably ask why I did that." I say and Cassidy nods.
"Well you left in quite a hurry. He is probably wondering what happened." Oh shoot she's right!
"I need to get back inside and tell him sorry for freaking out!" I say rushing to my feet.
"He's gone Adira. He wants to give you some time." She says and I sit back down slowly, looking down in shame.
"No girly. Don't do that. It wasn't your fault." She exclaims when she looks at my expression.
"I just left him without an explanation."
"Wait for him. Then you can clear the air." She gets up and tilts my head up to look at her.
"Everything is going to go great. He loves you just as much as you love him." I hope that's the case. All this is new to me. I nod and she moves towards the door that heads inside.
"Where are you going Cassidy?" I ask curiously.
"Daniel texted me and asked if I could come go out with him." She says and I smile.
"Ok enjoy it!" I say. She smiles and waves.
"And remember what I said." With that she goes in and I am left alone in the garden. I decide to sit at by the pond and play with the butterflies that were flying above it, some landing on me.