-chapter thirty one-
I was scared tell him the truth but I had to, he deserved to know the truth about me and my whole situation with my fathers.
“Okay, listen.” I took his hands into mine and he looked at me with a lot of confusion in his eyes, he wanted to know everything what was going on.
“One day, Dumbledore came to my dorm, which we both know that is not a good sign, he rarely comes to other students dorms, he asked me to come to his office because ‘we needed to have a talk’, of course I was scared, I thought that I was in trouble.. So I went to his office and professor Snape was sitting there, well long story short, they told me that Tom Riddle, aka Voldemort is not my real father, they told me that Severus Snape is my father.” I explained everything to him, his face was pale.
“So what you’re trying to tell me, is that MY godfather is your real father?” he asked me curiously, he wasn’t mad.
“Basically, yes, well not basically, it is true.” I replied to him and he cupped my cheek, his one hand was covered in bandages, so he cupped my face with his right hand.
“It is totally okay, me and professor Snape are not blood related, that means we are not related.” He said to me and gave me a slight smile, I really loved his tiny little smile.
“Yeah.” I said and down, so I don’t make an eye contact with him.
I realized what the fuck I was doing. I had to fucking hurt her, so she would stay away from me, so I can’t hurt her anymore, I wanted to keep her safe, but it also hurt me that if she won’t be mine, then someone else will get her, but I don’t want that.
“Look at me, Elle.” I said to her through my teeth and she quickly looked at me, she got kind of scared that I said it like that, with this tone.
She looked at me shyly, probably thought that I was going to yell at her, but I didn’t want to do anything to her, especially hurt her emotionally, of course could never lay my hands on her psychically too.
“Listen to me right now, I know this will hurt, but you have to stay away from me before I hurt you even more, this will be really hard for us both, but you will find your soulmate, you will find a man who will love you way more than I do, and treat you like a princess, because you really are one, you deserve a better man, the one who is sweet and nice to you, who will always be there for you and with you, not the toxic one, who always hurts you, I’m doing this just because I want to make you feel safe, I don’t want to hurt you, nor myself anymore, this is the best way for both of us, even though it might hurt for a while, but you just have to forget me and move on, you don’t need me in your life anymore, I just know it, you will find that one man in your life that will treat you like a queen, you will have kids with him, you will die with him.” I said and tears were rolling down my cheeks, I didn’t look at her for a couple of minutes, but then I did.
Tears were rolling down her cheeks too, she didn’t know what to say, I saw how these words broke her, I have never seen her like this, her eyes were completely in pain, her heart were shattered, so were mine, I did loved her, and I always will love her.
“Draco- please, baby-” she said and stuttered, I put my finger on her lips. I wanted her to calm the fuck down because she was screaming silently, her actions were screaming. “Elle, don’t, we are over.” I said and tried to look like I didn’t care but the tears were uncontrollable.
“Please” She begged me and wiped my tears off with her finger, I took her hand off my face, didn’t say anything, stood up and just left my dorm.
I didn’t know where to go, so I just went to the place where I almost killed myself, the Astronomy Tower, sat down in the corner, where Elle drew in the beginning of this year, where I first were nice to her.
I didn’t know what else to do, just sat there, it was freezing and I was only with a suit, it was cold but I didn’t care anymore, I didn’t care about anything.
This was so fucking painful and all I wanted to do that night was to fucking die, why couldn’t I die? Why couldn’t I just take my life away like everyone else does? Why did I do it? What’s the fuck is wrong with me?
WHY THE FUCK DID I FAIL?
I LITERALLY JUMPED OFF THE FUCKING ASTRONOMY TOWER AND I FUCKING FAILED IT IS NOT FAIR.