I sat with Malfoy. Just ignore him. Don’t pay attention to him and don’t let him annoy you or piss you off because you have to stay strong. “Why did you sit here” he asked me and already he pissed me off.
“Look around, Malfoy, do you see any more seats left?” I responded with mean voice, but also rolled my eyes and tried to listen to the professor.
‘Unexpectedly’ he put his hand on my thigh, of course Malfoy couldn’t go anywhere without touching any girls. “Shut the fuck up.” He whispered to me, and he let me know that he did this because I was showing an attitude to him, of fucking course.
“Take your fucking hand off me” I spat and he looked at me weirdly, not like weirdly but more like smirkingly, he was obviously making fun of me in his head.
“Take your hand off me” I said with anger in my voice. I’m not his toy even though I liked it. I actually really enjoyed this but I tried my best to not show it because I didn’t want to please him anymore.
“Don’t tell me what to do” He responded to me and looked at the professor who was talking something, I didn’t even listen to him I try my best to keep my attention on him. I took his hand off me aggressively and put it on his own knee.
“Don’t you dare do this again” he said and put his hand on my thigh again, he was a fucking asshole and he annoyed me but I actually really really enjoyed it I was weird.
“Take your disgusting hand off me, asshole” I whispered loudly. “Make me” he responded, and it turned me on, he tried to turn me on and it was obvious, I mean I didn’t mind that we were in class but that kind of annoyed me.
“I will crucio you.” I said and smirked, she smirked at me too. “Do it, I dare you.” Malfoy said with a smirk on his face. I didn’t say anything, because I knew that I couldn’t do this, well I could do this, good night to him because I fucking.... liked him.
“DO IT!” Malfoy yelled, but still, no response. “Aww lil Riddle is scared” He said almost laughing, he made me laugh by the sentence but I tried my best to keep my face serious.
He slowly moved closer to my heat but didn’t touch it. “Stop” I said while trying to control myself. I was already squirming, I was fucking weird because of a fucking Malfoy.
“Make me” he repeated this again. I didn’t say anything again. “I knew it, you like it.” He said and I rolled my eyes but I also didn’t see anything again.
“Just take your fucking hand off me” I spoke to him through my teeth because I was actually annoyed but like I said, I love the way he played with my senses. He went even closer to my heat. I felt that i was wet, but I tried to ignore it. “Malfoy I said stop don’t you understand me?” I added again but tried to keep my main voice, but it was actually impossible because I was in love with him.
“No” he responded. Fuck him. I mean yeah he would love that but I didn’t mean in a sexual way.
“If a girl says stop, it means stop.” I said calmly and looked at him with a disgusted face because I wanted him to know how disgusting he was. “For me it doesn’t, I’m a Malfoy.” He replied and I literally had no words.
after about ten minutes of arguing and whispering loudly at each other, professor Snape said that class is over. As soon as I heard that I stood up, Took all of my books, and went out of the classroom because I didn’t want to see his ugly fucking face in my way.
Next class was Defence against the dark arts so I walked to Lupins class, but someone grabbed my hand. Cold. The hand was cold. And I mean really fucking cold, I think it was even colder than common ice.
“Astronomy Tower. 10 pm. Don’t be late.” I heard his voice. Draco Lucius Malfoy of course.
“What?” I asked him because I was confused but I heard him clearly, and he understood that I heard him but I didn’t understand what he meant.
“You heard me, Riddle.” He said and he fucking knew that I don’t like it when people call me by my last name and he just wanted me to be pissed at him, so I tried to ignore him.
“No, I’m deaf, like I said” I laughed and he rolled his eyes turned around and left, I was actually so fucking confused because I didn’t understand what the fuck just happened.
Very nice. A nice talk with Draco fucking Malfoy wow. I walked to Defence against the dark arts classroom and there were again only one seat left, and again next to Draco.
Oh my God... Not again...
“Don’t be a pussy, just sit down” Draco said with his cold, grey eyes. I always get lost in his beautiful eyes, I have no idea what they’re doing to me and my whole body because everytime I look at them I feel something in my stomach. I sat down on a chair and Malfoy was sitting right next to me.
“Will you come?” He asked with weirdly calm voice, I don’t think I have ever seen his this calm. “I will think about it.” I responded and took notes about werewolves. Werewolves where actually the most boring object we have ever talked about in this class.
After classes I went to my dorm and cried there until nine pm.
Should I go? I mean if I wont he will probably come to my dorm and fuck me... But if I will go there he probably will do the same thing...
Okay fine, I’m going. I put a skirt and a hoodie on. I sat on my bed for about thirty minutes because I had some free time, I was actually overthinking a lot about everything.
Fuck it’s already nine pm... I put a black suit on, put all my rings on, fixed my blonde hair and sprayed some cologne. I wasn’t ready. Once again, I was scared. I looked at the time and it was already 9:47 pm.
I took her letters from my drawer, put them in my suits pocket and left my dorm. Not going to lie, I was not scared, I was terrified. When I walked in the tower she wasn’t there yet, so I just looked at the stars.
“Ehm, hi..” I heard her voice... Her fucking beautiful, soft voice. Every time I heard it I just melted.
“Oh hey.” I answered without any emotions, Even though inside I was fucking breaking I wanted to scream I wanted to see yellow wanted to confess that my feelings and everything.
“So I’m here, what do you want from me?” She asked me and her voice once again made me melt. “I want to talk to you.” I said with a calm voice, I was actually so fucking scared I didn’t even know what to tell her I just wanted to be with her.
“Okay, talk.” she said with a mean voice. Fuck what am I supposed to tell her? I actually didn’t know what I had to tell her or what I wanted to tell her I just wanted to see her I wanted to be with her alone.
“Just don’t look at my face, I know I look horrible right now.” I said because I didn’t know what else to say, but I didn’t lie because they actually looked horrible. I mean yeah what do you expect from a person who hasn’t slept in days..
“I don’t care, so what do you want to talk about?” she asked me softly, she took one step closer to me and I suddenly felt safe. I don’t know why but I did.
I took her letters out of my pocket. My hands were shaking, I was scared, and not only my hands, my whole body was shaking, I actually felt like a vibrator.
“So you’re admitting that you wrote those letters?” she asked me and I looked at her with guilt in my eyes, I felt so fucking guilty. I knew that this was inappropriate.
“No.” I said looking at the floor. “I didn’t.” I lied. I fucking lied. Well that’s fair because she lied me too, not once, but twice.
“So where did you get them from? Alex gave you?” she asked me sarcastically again, she knew where to use it and she knew how to manipulate, how to use people even though I did too.
“No shit, that from I got those letters from him.” I lied again and I was terrified, but deep in the heart I knew that I had to tell her the truth, I had to tell her everything.
“Okay, and what about them?” she asked me with a weird look on her face, she didn’t say anything bad or something from her past except the fact that now I knew that she had depression because of me and I felt really bad, but she didn’t say anything else.
Like I said, I was terrified.
“I think that you know too much about me right now.” I said. I was about to cry, but I held my tears in. I wanted to let it all out but it was fucking hard, I needed her, I wanted to hold her in my hands.
“All I know is that you’re broken and you’re coping with your pain by bullying other people.” she said carefully, she tried her best to not hurt me more, so did I, I tried to be nice with her, as nice as possible with her. I didn’t know what to say.
“Can you forget this? That I’m ‘broken’ and everything?” I asked her and she looked at me again with tears in her eyes, I felt like a fucking monster because I did this to her. “Okay I guess.” she replied and wiped them off.
I wanted to hug her, to kiss her, to be with her. Forever.
“Show me your hand.” I commanded and she looked like she was so confused but she actually was, she was confused why I asked her to show me her hand.
“Why should I?” Elle replied with a nice tone but deep inside she knew that she was rude by saying these words.
“Just show me your fucking arm” I raised voice but I didn’t shout, I did not want to scare her, but she still got a bit scared. She rolled her eyes and showed me her arm, and nothing was there. I felt relief all over my body. “Happy?” Elle asked me “Yes, very happy.” I replied when I saw that she didn’t have anything on her arm.
Should I tell her how I feel? About the letters, that I wrote them? “Anyways I just wanted to make sure one thing... You’re free now, you can go...” I said with a soft voice but of course it was still deep, because I’m a man, duh.
“Okay” she said “Weirdo” she whispered to herself, but I heard that. “I’m not weirdo. Well I am but not right now...” I replied and she smiled slightly but also got kind of scared and I had no idea why..
“You can go now if you want” I looked back at the sky. “Wait...” she stopped for a second. “It may sound weird but please, tell me the truth... I won’t be mad. Did you wrote those letters?” She asked and my heart dropped. I didn’t know what to say, should I lie again, or tell her the truth?
“I did. Happy?” I asked and she nodded her hair and replied to me in a second “I- I think I should go I guess...” Elle said. “Do what you want.” I replied and sat on the ground, and looked at the stars again. To be honest? I thought that she is going to leave, but she didn’t. She sat near me and looked at the stars too.
“Beautiful place, huh?” I asked with very calm voice.
“Mhm..” she mumbled. I looked at her, and then looked at the stars again. God, she was adorable. “It’s cold here, we should go inside.” I said “Yeah we should.” she answered and I stood up.
First time in five years I was nice to her, nice to someone. I never knew that I had this soft side. I helped her to stand up. I felt regret for showing her my soft side, but I loved her. I really loved her. I felt safe with her. Safer than I have felt with anyone.
We left the Astronomy tower and walked to our dorms, they were actually kind of close and I didn’t even notice it. “I’m sorry” I said while walking and she turned her head to me. What are you doing. Why are you apologizing to her?
“Why are you apologizing” she asked me and tilted her head a little bit. “Because I feel bad for what I did all those years...” I will probably do something again, because my uncontrollable dick will want her.
“Oh it’s okay, I mean I’m okay... Those letters were kinda cute, I mean very cute.. They showed that you have other side. I never thought that there is soft Draco...” she answered. I really felt bad.
I came closer her, placed my hand on her face and gave her soft, warm kiss. “I have to go.” I whispered and left without even saying anything, that kiss was one of the best things I have ever experienced.
But what did just happened, I just fucking kissed her. I’ve never had better kiss with any girl.
I went to my dorm, locked myself in it and went to the shower, took off all my clothes and got in the shower.
I was confused what happened. I had my first kiss with my fucking bully. Of course, I loved him, but it felt weird.
“I’m dead. I’m fucking dead” I paused for a second ” out of happiness” I said to myself while walking through my dorms door.
I got inside and locked it, incase something happens.
After five minutes I got into shower, and showered for about thirty minutes, because so many thoughts were flying around my mind.
Why did he kiss me?
Does that mean he loves me?
These thoughts were killing me. They were killing me slowly and painfully.
After shower, I got in my bed, but didn’t sleep all night again. Fourth night without any sleep.
I got out of my bed at 6 am, and took a long shower again. I could just drown myself here. Right now. Imagine how easy that sounds, just hold your breath a little bit longer, and you’re gone from here, from this hell, all the pain would be gone.
Malfoy stop fucking thinking about her, she’s not thinking about you. You will never have her by your side. These thoughts flew through my head all the time I was in shower.
When I got out of shower it was 8 am. I spent two fucking hours in the shower thinking about her.