I think that i was in heaven, I couldn’t even talk. He used me like he did with other girls, but I liked it.
“Whats wrong” Draco asked me with a smile, i was confused why he was so nice to me. “N- nothing I just don’t know what to say...” I replied and smiled, of course I fucking enjoyed the way he fucked me but I was upset that he used me.
“How was your first time darling” he asked me again. I melted because I love when he calls me darling or love... “Perfect...” I said with a smile. Now it was a real smile. “Now get dressed” Malfoy said to me with extremely big smile in his face. I put my clothes on and looked at him.
“Good” he said and kissed me. “How do you feel” Draco asked me and I was still very confused why he was so nice to me after all those years of bullying me “Very good, but I don’t think that can stand up.” I sped to his face and he laughed a little bit.
“Do you need help, love?” he smirked at me and gave me his hand, I took it into mine “No shit, Draco, of course I do.” I said and he laughed again.
He helped me to stand up and my legs were shaking. I mean REALLY shaking. “Thank you” I said to him, but he was still holding my hand. “Your welcome” Draco said.
“Maybe you can help me to go to my dorm?” I asked for help again “Yes of course” Malfoy replied and I was happy that he was nice, but the real question was, for how long? He held my hand while walking to my dorm “Thank you again” I said with a smile on my face, like I said earlier it was a real one.
“I will go now, I hope you liked your first time.” He gave me a gentle kiss and winked at me, of course he had that smirk on his face. “Goodnight, Draco, and finally go to fucking sleep you haven’t slept in like six days.” I said and he clearly fake smiled at me.
“I don’t think I will be able to fall asleep, but I will try, goodnight” he uttered and glanced at me, I have him a long and warm kiss and then he left.
She was so fucking gorgeous... like so fucking gorgeous that wasn’t even fair, I thought that people like her doesn’t exist but apparently they do, or maybe she was the only one like this.
I went to my dorm, took a shower and fell in bed, but didn’t sleep again, oh wow I love myself, I really do, another night with no sleep.
I got out of bed at 8 am.
It was Friday, so first class was at 11 am, and it was DADA, but I’m not going anyways, so I could sleep for a little bit longer, but no because Elle probably needed help because of me.
I woke up, sat on the bed and tried to stand up, but I failed. My legs were still shaking and I was in some kind of pain.
After about ten minutes of sitting on my bed, someone came into my room.
“Good morning, Draco.” I said with awkward smile because it felt like my legs were frozen. “Good morning darling” he said “Are you okay” he laughed a little bit. “Stop, you know why I’m not standing up so shut up” I said while trying to hold my smile.
“Stand up” he said and chuckled, he was so adorable.
“I tried...” I vocalised to him and he of course grinned again and gave me his cold hand. “Now stand up” he ordered me and I stood up but I almost fell.
“Damn, I did a pretty good job I see” He said and sniggered “Shut up” I glanced up and down with a leer on my face and this bitch of course had to smirk again, he was proud of what he did to me.
“Very funny Draco” I acknowledged and he literally made fun of me because I couldn’t walk. “Yeah” he responded again and he slowly help me to walk.
“Do you need help to get to DADA classroom?” he asked me “Yeah” I smiled and looked away because I somehow had a weird feeling in my stomach because he was with me and the weirdest thing was that he wasn’t rude or mean to me and he wasn’t bullying me. “Okay I will help you but I’m not going to the class, I will skip it.” He said and we walked out of my dorm with him holding my hand and his another hand was wrapped around my shoulder.
“What why” I asked him because I wanted to be with him in our class because the classes were boring actually, especially the ones with werewolves.
“I- uh- It doesn’t matter really.” He said and I saw that something was wrong, he was nervous and I have never seen him being nervous even though we have never normally talked with each other.
“It does” I replied and I was actually weird because his voice was cracking but he wasn’t crying, he was just really nervous about something but he wouldn’t tell me what. “No, love, it doesn’t, trust me.” he repeated it again.
I was worried, I was really fucking worried about him even though he probably was just prank in me with that sex and everything, I still love him and I still needed him in my life. “It. Does.” I glanced another look at him, but it wasn’t just a common look I was trying to beg him with my eyes only.
“Shut up or you’re going to the classroom by yourself.” He said with angry voice, he actually wasn’t joking anymore this time he was actually pissed at me for some reason because I was... worried?
“Okay I’m just skipping this class too.” I whispered, but of course he heard, I swear to God if he will hear another thing I will whisper I will kill him or cut his fucking ears off. “No you’re not skipping DADA.” He again said this to me in angry voice. “Lupin likes me, he wont say anything.” I said to him and he calmed down a little bit so did I.
“Okay, but don’t be mad at me but I have to go. I’ll be back in few hours.” Draco whispered to me and he was shaking more and more by every second.
“Okay love” I responded quietly and got in the bed.“Wish me luck” He whispered to himself. “I have no fucking idea what you’re doing bud good luck I guess” I rolled my eyes and laid down on my bed.
“Thank you love” he kissed my forehead and left my dorm, of course he had to leave me alone and I was actually really sad that he had to leave because I got attached to him even though it was just a one night thing.
Random thoughts were flying around my head, about my life, about him, about everything. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, where he left, where he is now? Is he even alive? It literally has been like three hours since he left my dorm.
After few hours of just laying there I heard that someone walked in, of course it was Draco.
“Came back to say that I’m still alive.” Where was he? I was actually really worried about when I saw him it felt like I dropped in rock off my heart.
“Can you show me your arm again?” He asked me again but I was curious why he wanted to look at my arm over and over again, I wasn’t self harming or something though. “Yeah sure” and I rolled my sleeve up, but I didn’t have anything on my arm so I was feeling safe.
“Good, thank you.” Draco said and sighed, I was actually curious why he wanted to look at my hand every time with me but like I didn’t care at the same time, I didn’t say anything to him. “What’s wrong love” Draco ask me and I looked at him again.
“You don’t trust me.” I replied and Glenn’s to look at him, he was actually kind of terrified I had no idea why and I had no idea why he wanted to check my arm every time. “I do trust you, why do you think that I don’t?” He questioned me but the only thing that was going through my mind, was where was he?
“Then where were you” I asked him and looked away so we don’t make an awkward eye contact. “I- I had to fix one thing. It’s okay now, forget it.” he replied and I swear to Merlin that I saw fear in his eyes.
“What thing?” I asked again, I know that I was fucking annoying the shit out of him but I didn’t actually care, I wanted to know everything about him and about his life. “Forget it.” Draco said and looked away.
“Draco, what thing?” I asked him again and he was clearly annoyed by me asking so many questions and trying to push him to tell me what is going on “Please don’t ask me anymore questions.” He said with the rude voice but I knew that he was trying his best to be calm and talk softly with me.
“What fucking thing” I asked raising my voice a little bit, Of course I didn’t want to raise my voice at him because he didn’t deserve it, but it was the only way to press him to tell me everything. “Vanishing cabinet. HAPPY?” He yelled at me I got scared. But I wasn’t scared of him, I was scared of him shouting at me. because his voice was kind of loud
“Why” I asked again and I forgot about the fact that Draco told me to don’t ask any more questions. “Don’t ask any more questions, please.” He repeated it again with much softer voice.
“Okay, I believe you.” I said and looked at him, his eyes were watering and I literally had no idea why because I wasn’t sure what was the vanishing cabinet , but I knew that I will have to find out about it more.
Suddenly my dark mark started to burn, I grabbed my hand and fell on the ground. “Fuck” I whispered to myself with apparently Elle somehow heard it, I mean yeah that makes sense because I hear everything she whispers or mutters to herself “What’s wrong” Elle asked me and looked at me, I think that she saw the way I was holding my hand and she already knew what was going on.
“N- nothing I’m fine.” I whimpered, my hand was burning so bad, it’s felt like it was put on the fire and someone was trying to burn me alive. “Your mark burns?” she asked me and my heart dropped.
“What are you talking about love” I tried to act as dumb as possible, I didn’t want her to know that I’m a death eater. “Don’t play fucking games, Draco.” She spat to me with angry voice I think that she ready knew that I was a fucking death eater.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I responded again but I was still acting dumb, I thought that she would believe me but apparently she didn’t. I was so lost and scared at the same time.
“Show me your hand, left one, I’m sure that your mark is bleeding.” she said and my heart dropped again. “I don’t have a dark mark.” I said and tried my best to hide my hand under my sleeve.
“So my dad didn’t give you one yet? Show me your arm.” Elle commanded me and looked at me while her eyebrows were raised up. I didn’t say anything, just tears were forming in my eyes. I was embarrassed of myself.
“Just get out of my face. Please.. I know you have one.” she said. These words broke my heart. “What? Okay, yes I do, yes I do have that fucking mark, BUT IT’S NOT MY FAULT, NOT MY CHOICE!” Are yelled at her, because I didn’t know what else to do and also my Anger issues were kicking in hard.
“I know that you have one because my dad told me, so you don’t need to fucking lie to me and also don’t forget that I am Voldemort’s daughter so I know everything about every single fucking death eater!” she yelled at me. “I’m so sorry.” I apologised because like every single time, I had no idea what to do, nor say.
“Just get out of my face.” She repeated it again and I left her dorm because I wanted to leave her alone and give her some time.
It actually wasn’t my fault that I got that dark mark, my father forced me to get one or else they would have killed me, so basically I did not have a choice, well apparently my father was forced to be a death eater too, when he was sixteen years old.
As soon as I came up to my dorms door, I took out my wand and unlocked it, went inside and quickly locked it, I took off my suit, fell onto the bed face down and cried again, it was literally impossible to control my tearsC anymore I couldn’t hold them, especially when the girl I love now probably hate me with her whole heart.
I was in tears, I actually couldn’t stop crying because I felt so bad for Draco becoming a death eater, I would have better been a death eater instead of him, I wanted to get my dark mark instead of him, but it was actually too late.
I took my notebook, hoodie and went to Astronomy Tower, like always, and of course expected to see Draco there but he wasn’t there so I went to his dorm, I didn’t even knock I just went inside his dorm to check if he’s okay.
He was crying on his bed. This view broke my heart into more pieces, even though it was already broken, this view broke me even more. I sat on his bed, he sat up and laid his head on my lap, and strangled his hair because apparently I think that it calmed him down.
“Everything is okay, Draco, I’m here. Calm down.” I said with the soft voice and try to sound as nice as possible because he didn’t deserve to be yelled at.
“You hate me now.” he said and these words broke my heart even more and more, he actually thought that I hated him, but I didn’t. And I think that it was clear that I did not hate him
“Why should I hate you?” I asked him and looked at him, his eyes were closed and he was almost sleeping, I mean yeah that makes sense because he didn’t sleep for like four days. “Because I’m a fucking death eater.” He said with pain in his voice and his voice was obviously cracking. “Dummy, my dad is a fucking death eater too.” I said with no worries on my voice because I knew that he wasn’t like his father, just like me, I wasn’t like my father.
“No shit.” he said and smiled slightly even though I knew that this smile wasn’t real. “I’m a Riddle, Draco, I knew when and where you will get your mark since I was six years old.” Ice bath and he didn’t say anything. “Anyways-” I tried to say something but he interrupted me.
“Look at me, El.” He said and open his grey eyes, yes, The same ones I always get lost in, they’re are actually like a sea, if you will go deeper in it, you will drown,
Of course I looked at him, he sat up and cupped my face with his hand “I love you.” Draco said. Draco Malfoy loves me? No I’m fucking dreaming. I was a literal shock, I never thought I would hear these words from Draco fucking Malfoy.
“I love you, Draco.” I said, and I didn’t say too, because it sounded like I’m agreeing with him and I didn’t like that. “You shouldn’t love me.” He said and I saw the worry in his eyes, he probably knew that he was going to hurt me, or maybe, I will be the one who will hurt him? No one actually knows.
“But I already do, and I did for the last 4 years.” I told him my biggest secret, yes the same one I didn’t tell him in the common room few days ago. “Please don’t love me, Elle, I will hurt you, I will break your heart.” He said and his words broke me even fucking more, The only thing I knew about our ‘relationship’ was that I’m going to get even more broken after this.
" what if I’ll break yours? Plus, I don’t care, you bullied me for years, and I had no idea why, but if you will hurt me now, I will know the reason, and I know that you don’t want to hurt me.” She said and tears were rolling down her cheeks, I couldn’t see them in her cheeks so I just wiped them off with my thumb.
“My whole life I’ve been trying to protect you from your own father. Even few times he almost killed me for protecting you. My whole life I was in fear that you will get your dark mark. I always checked at your arm, to make sure that you don’t have it yet. I am scared.” I told her the reason why I was glancing in her hand every time she passed by or something.
“Scared of what, Draco?” She asked me insulted tilted her head to the side a little bit. “Everything.” I didn’t know what else to say, I was just scared of everything, the word everything explained my whole mood and it was a perfect word for this conversation.
“Like?” She asked me again. “Losing you.” I said and the emotions in her eyes quickly changed, she furrowed her eyebrows and cupped my cheek. “You won’t lose me Draco.” She sweared to me. “But what if I will? Then I will completely lose myself.” I said and looked down at the beds sheets. “No no no no no no you won’t lose me I swear to Merlín.” She said with more tears in her eyes.. “I really hope so” I said and looked back at her.
“I care about you, I love you, and I will always be with you and there for you. Always.” Elle said and I felt happiness in my heart, not really like happiness, but I felt a warm feeling. I didn’t say anything because I knew if I will say a word I will cry my eyes out. “And you know that I really love you.” She added again.
“I love you darling” i said and glanced another look at her, I looked deeply into her eyes, they were actually so pretty. “How long haven’t you slept?” She asked me with a worry in her voice.
“About a week now, why are you asking?” I asked her and smiled slightly, just to make sure that I’m ‘not tired’ when I actually was so fucking tired.
“Oh my god, Draco you have to sleep!” She raised her voice at me, but not in a mean way, it was in a nice way. “I’m not really tired.” I responded to her and she smiled at me “Go to fucking sleep, I know that you’re lying.” Fuck, how does she know everything about me? It was impossible to understand.
“No I won’t fall asleep anyways” I replied and she smirked at me, jumped on me and put my head on her chest. “Then I will sleep with you baby” Elle said with a smile. “Deal.”
I hugged her and we both slowly fell asleep while I was humming and strangling her hair.
I accidentally woke up “You’re finally sleeping” I whispered quietly hoping that I won’t wake him up, but my dumb ass did wake him up. “Not anymore El” he said with his sleepy voice which was actually so fucking hot it made me even melt.
“Shit just sleep Love” I said and played with his hair until he fell asleep again. I loved seeing him like this,
He was actually super calm and it made me calm too. I have never felt that safe, I have always wanted to have a person to hug, or a person to talk with about anything, but I have never in my entire life expected that this will be my bully, The person I love and trust only, Draco Malfoy. I know that he can’t read my mind, but Draco, I love you.