Bonded

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7 - E X A M S

Davina

I hadn’t seen Jane during the period of exams. Two weeks to prepare and study our asses off and then a full week of taking them.

We both had demanding parents and they wouldn’t be happy if we didn’t reach the goals they pressured upon us. The only motivation we had was finishing college and then we finally got to go our own way.

One of the things I realised being apart from Jane these last couple of days, was the fact that I missed her. That my feelings for her were beyond what you feel for just a friend.

It took some days to dawn on me, but when you’re reading poetry and romance penned down by long dead writers searching for hidden messages and interpretations and the only thing that comes to mind is a certain girl with a sternum tattoo then you know you’re fucked.

I thought about it though, the whole scenario about ways how we would be throwing away a good friendship if things didn’t work out between us.

I would lose my confidante and closest friend.

My drinking buddy and chatterbox.

And what if it worked?

She was the only person I knew who totally got me and appreciated me for who I was, understood that I had crazy parents and knew the history with Peter, my ex-boyfriend.

The one who encouraged me to try things I wanted but wouldn’t have dared if she wouldn’t have given me that little push I needed.

She was the one person I could tell everything to and she never judged me. She had some kinks to her and when she told me about some things I always cringed at it and she would laugh at my innocence.

After being tied up to her bed and tasting some I couldn’t hide the fact that I wanted to try more and secretly hoped that she would be the one to show it to me.

Jane had me, hook, line and sinker.

I just didn’t know if I would be enough. You know? She swings for both teams and I’m just me, a girl. Would she miss things if she decided to be with me? If she did and left me because of it I would be shattered in pieces. Fuck!

✯

The first weekend after exams was always a blast at campus. A time to unwind from all the stress, being an excellent excuse to party and get wasted.

My parents gave me the liberty to chill some days. I would come up with stories that I was staying with friends, watching movies and just relaxing.

Jane texted me about a party at a house off campus. More our scene that the preppy clubs where the cheerleaders and frat boys went to.

I walked there. Not taking the car if I was drinking tonight. I decided on fake leather pants with my New Rocks and a shorter top, showing my ink. I smiled, thinking about Jane saying she liked it.

Hard rock and metal songs were playing as I slipped through the doors and searched the party for Jane, she said she was here already.

β€˜This is it, Davina’ I tried to pep talk me into just going for it and just say Jane about how I felt, hoping she was game.

I passed the booze table and I stopped to take a beer. I needed a bit of liquid courage. I said hi to a couple of people I knew from classes and moved further in the back of the house.

Then I saw her, sitting on the lap of some dude in the living room.

She wore a corset and a black tutu skirt with her Steve Madden studded pumps. She looked incredible.

The guy was whispering something funny to her, because she laughed.

And then, she fucking kissed him.

Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff sounded in the background and I couldn’t agree more with Fred Durst in this moment.

It’s just one of those days

Where you don’t want to wake up

Everything is fucked

Everybody sucks

You don’t really know why

But you want to justify

Rippin’ someone’s head off

I couldn’t keep fucking staring at this. I needed air.

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