You may or may not know that Wattpad is fucking around with people books. I just got back Perfect Mates so here’s an update, Linked is still missing in my works so I can’t update.
I will when it returns. I apologize for the shitty inconvience.
No nightmares this year.
I sit up before rubbing my strained eyes a bit. I wish I could just fast forward today, ignore it’s existence and it’s meaning. But forgetting today means forgetting them - and I’d never forget them.
I rub my hands over my face to relinquish the dire images from my mind. Once they’d faded enough to breathe again, I drag myself out of bed, maneuvering myself away from my mates. They shift a bit at my loss before finding each other’s comforting warmth.
Clothing myself in yesterday’s discarded clothes, I make my way downstairs. My eyes glazing over the old photographs longer than usual. Their smiles more haunting than daunting, I strain one in response before escaping to the kitchen.
Preparing myself a cup of piping hot coffee, I stand at the counter in an awkward wake. I didn’t want to sleep a moment knowing they’d find me, the ones in my dreams who tried to haunt me. I ignore the way my throat cried in protest as the liquid burnt my insides. It distracted me from the real pain.
My eyes find the outside world and stay there. The natural surroundings somehow calming me, cradling my fragile state. I received the feeling with open arms.
How dare you....
I shut my eyes tightly as a voice I tried to push out seeped its way back in. As it often did this time of year.
How can you sit here comfortably. Just like before.
They suffered while you did nothing.
You let them die.
My breath catches in my throat as the cup slips from my fingers and crashes to the ground. I struggle to calm my racing heart as the words echo in my mind. The thought consuming and attacking me from every imaginable angle.
“Mickey?” I hear Chris call from upstairs.
They’d help me, I knew they would.
But I couldn’t depend on them for this, not today.
The sound of footsteps boosted my own as I pushed myself out the back door. Running becomes sprinting and then heavy imprints in the earth’s surface.
I shift as I approach.
The tears begin flowing without permission.
I make a few feeble steps before kneeling at their burial grounds.
“H-Hey Mom, Dad.” I whisper feebly before glancing over to my brother and sister. “Hey Jerry.....Lisa.” I let out a shaking breath as a weak smile forms. “I m-miss you guys.”
I close my eyes tightly as broken sobs escape my lips. My pain radiating loudly to all around me, but there was no one around. No one to hear my cries. Share my pain. I was the only one left.
“I miss you.” I croak out not daring to touch the vegetated concrete. “I miss you s-sooo much.” I repeat between choked hiccups. “I should’ve done something. S-Should’ve never let y-you go.”
But it was too late now.
They were gone.
And I was alone.
“Where on earth could he have gone?” I groan in frustration, meeting Nicholas in the centre of the house after searching it a third time.
Waking up to breaking glass and a missing mate was not how I planned for this day to go. Not in the slightest.
We’d tried to follow Mickey for as long as we could but he was too fast and by the time we caught up, he’d masked his scent.
He wanted to be left alone.
But we didn’t know why.
“I don’t know.” Nicholas finally answers, running his hands through his hair with a forced sigh. “And we were in a good place, no a great place.”
“It’s not us.” I correct but his doubtful eyes reject this notion. “He’s been fine for weeks. It’s not us.”
“Then what on earth is it?!”
Before I can conjure up a reply, the doorbell chimes throughout the home forcing our attention its way. With the feeble hope that it may be Mickey, we rush towards the wooden door without discussion. Disappointment quickly flooded our veins when our eyes find Emitt.
“Hello to you to.” He greets sensing our dismal. His eyes dance between us before they narrow and his lips tighten. “He’s gone isn’t he.”
“Yeah.” Nicholas strains slightly, allowing Emitt to express his obvious annoyance and panic as his heart pick us. “How did you know?”
“He hasn’t told you?” He questions I’m surprise. We exchange a glance before shaking our heads no. “Goddess Mickey.”
I withhold a hiss as a blinding wave of sorrow attacks me mercilessly. The way Nic groaned told me he felt it too.
Mickey wasn’t okay.
Emotionally - he was killing himself.
I try to focus on the conversation and not the building anxiety and fear that captured me. I could feel him crying, his ongoing agony, his overwhelming pain was now mine and it burned.
“What’s going on?” I ask, my worry now growing tenfold.
“I can’t re-”
“Emitt.” Nicholas grinds out. “We woke up to the sound of glass breaking and a missing mate. We don’t know where he is, why he left or where to. We can feel him crying his heart out and we don’t know why. We don’t know what’s wrong with our Mickey.” He says shakily before taking a deep breath to rail himself in. “So I don’t want to know what you can and can not tell us. What is going on with my Micheal?!”
He takes a deep breath in response while I pull Nic into me, an ignorant attempt to comfort the rampant panic that was torturing us both.
“Today’s the anniversary of his family’s death.” He reveals making Nic tense in my arms while my eyes widen. “He spends the day torturing himself by blaming himself for their deaths. He always ends up at their graves. I came today to see if he was okay, try to distract him. But I’m clearly too late.”
“They were hunters.” I voice softly making his eyes drown with pain.
“H-How did they die?” Nic asks after a moment.
“On a hunt. I don’t know the details because Mickey refuses to talk about it.” He replies sadly. “I’ve known him for years and he won’t say anything about it. He will to you though. When he’s ready.”
“Then where are they buried. We can go h-”
“I don’t know.” He says making my heart drop slightly. “Nobody knows. He buried them somewhere in pack lands and you know how far these lands extend.”
“He’s out there alone. In pain. We can’t just leave him there.” I voice once the space becomes quiet.
“Even if you found him, I don’t think he’d want you there.” He voices sadly. “You may be his mates but that’s his deceased family. If he’s not ready to tell you then he’s probably not ready to take you there.”
“S-So what are we supposed to do? Just wait for him to come back?!” Nic asks angrily, stumbling over his words.
“He doesn’t want us now.” I state, ignoring the sorrow the words caused.
He stares at me for a long moment before releasing a choked sob.
“This is Mickey we’re talking about. He’ll drown himself with guilt and anger.” He declares with tear-filled eyes. “We can’t leave him alone. Chris, w-we can’t leave our b-”
“I know.” I say pulling him into my chest as he begins to sob. Clenching onto my shirt ends to stable himself. “I know. I feel him too. But we can’t disturb his time with them. We just have to wait.”
Emitt stares at us pitifully while I try desperately to comfort one of the mates who needed it and myself.
Goddess protect Micheal.
In an instant Nic and I shoot up from our spot on the couch. Turning to find a very muddy, teary Mickey standing in the doorway.
I don’t remember moving.
But I did. Somehow ending up with him squeezed in my arms along with Nic.
“Are you okay?” Nic asks pulling him back to search his body. Skimming over the dirt that masked his paled skin. Finding his way back up, he wiped away the failing tears with his thumbs. “Mickey...”
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, his voice shaky. “I’m s-sorry.”
“It’s okay love, it okay.” I coo while rubbing his back comfortingly.
“They’re gone.” He continues as his eyes lift to meet mine. His chocolate brown eyes seemingly contaminated by loss as tears flowed from them effortlessly. Bags dragging them down as he trembled slightly in our grasp. “All of them.”
We stay quiet in response. His words not asking for a response. Not that I could offered him one.
There was no response for something like this.
“I’m alive and they’re gone.” He groans painfully before hiding himself further within our loving hold. “Don’t leave me.” He cries into my chest. “Please. I c-can’t....please.”
“Never.” I promise, pressing a kiss to his head.
“We will never leave you Mickey.” Nic finishes before pressing a lasting kiss to his forehead.
“They went hunting.” He sobbed out. “I didn’t. I stayed home. They w-went for witches.” His heart begins racing, growing at the same rate his panic was. “They went. I stayed. They went.”
“I went to look since th-they were late.” He releases the most heart wrenching wail I’d ever heard as he took in desperate breaths for air. “T-T-There was so much blood....everywhere...” He sobs out, his crying making him breathless. I pull him in tighter, a failing effort to hide him from what he already saw. “I spent the night.....putting them back together.”
A cold, unforgiving shiver ran down the length of my spine as he sobbed between Nic and I.
He’d seen it.
His family massacred, he saw.
His dismembered family he put back together.
Dear goddess, help him.
Nic and I remained speechless. I don’t think he wanted any meaningless words, he’d probably heard his fill.
He didn’t say anymore and neither did we.
He just cried. He cried.
We held him. Held him to protect him. Held him to love him.
He cried himself to sleep and we held him in our arms as he drifted away.
And we’d continue to hold him.
For the rest of our lives. We’d hold him to protect him. To love him.
He’d never be alone again.
When Mickey woke, his eyes were a little bit brighter than they last were, his smile a little stronger as well.
We didn’t push the past conversation into existence, not wanting to dig up memories he was so desperately trying to bury.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys before.” He starts and Nic immediately opens his mouth to protest but he continues quickly. “I should’ve told you and I-I shouldn’t have run....b-but I was so...” He sighs searching for the right words.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, I do. I trust you both with my life. But I always deal with ....today by myself, so I feel back into that I guess.” He finishes with a deep breath.
“Please just don’t take off like that again.” Nic begs gently. “Even a letter is better than nothing.”
“I won’t, I promise I won’t.” He says quickly and Nic finally unwinds his tense shoulders, relaxing slightly at the promise.
“Will you take us one day?” I question in hope. “When you’re ready?”
“Y-Yeah.” He says with a shaky smile. “They would’ve loved to meet you.”
He crawls off the bed opening his arms that we quickly fill as we hug him back, spreading a warmth through his body. Nic and I kissed him all over with words of eternal love as he held us close.
“I love you too.” He whispers as he holds us tight against him.
It’s almost to the wire,
Probably 1 or 2 more chapters.
Thoughts on the whole dead family thing. That came out more morbid than I intended ???
Until next time,