“What? What happened? Where is he?” I scrambled out of bed throwing on clothes and rushing downstairs.
My panic went into overdrive and I only picked up on part of the conversation as I tried to find my keys. He had been driving and a truck drifted into his lane and hit him, he was in surgery but his injuries were life threatening.
“Where is he?” I demanded “WHERE IS HE?”
“He’s at Jackson Memorial.” She told me and I hung up dashing out the door and running to my car.
I drove as fast as I could not entirely sure how I made it there as it was all a blur. I burst through the emergency room doors and looked around for Ashley. I found her and her parents sitting at the back corner. I ran to them hugging Ashley.
“Any word?” I asked trying to breathe enough to think properly. I had the most medical background out of all of them so would likely understand better than they would.
Ashley was too upset to talk so I looked at his parents. I could see the fear written on their faces as Chance’s Dad answered me “He has a punctured lung, several broken ribs and a tear in his aorta. They also aren’t sure if there is any brain haemorrhaging. They are working to repair his heart as he lost a lot of blood by the time they got him here.” He was trying to keep his voice steady but his emotions were betraying him.
I turned away from him I didn’t want them to see my expression as I processed what he said. I realized that there was a good possibility he would’t make it through this, depending on where the tear was, how fast they could repair it and how much blood he had lost.
I sunk in the chair and felt the tears stream down my face then I felt a hand slip into mine. I looked up to see Mom2 holding onto my hand and when I turned to her she enfolded me in her arms.
“If there is anyone who can make it through this it’s Chance.” She said more to herself than anyone else.
Ashley and her Dad came over and we all huddled together crying and praying those desperate prayers you do for the ones you love. When we had all regained our composure Ashley’s Dad offered to get us all coffee as it could be a long time before we knew anything and Ashley went to help him.
Chance’s Mom was still holding my hand when she turned to look at me. “Thank you.”
I looked up at her startled. “Thank you for what?”
She smiled, that knowing smile “For loving him the way he was supposed to be loved. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, he found his person in you.” She squeezed my hands and I felt the tears being to fall again.
“I can’t lose him” I sobbed thinking of the kids he had said we were supposed to have.
We held onto each other in silence until Ashley and her Dad came back. Soon after Dylan arrived to be by Ashley’s side. We all sipped on our coffees as the fear hung in the air around us. It was several hours before we got another update and I was going crazy. I could only imagine how his parents were feeling.
When a doctor finally came out we all jumped up. “Mr and Mrs Anderson?” He asked Ashley’s parents.
They both nodded. “I’m Dr. Mitchell one of your son’s surgeons. We were able to repair the tear in his aorta, he’s lost a lot of blood but he’s a fighter. Now we are taking him for an MRI to check the rest of him. The spot that tore was in a very delicate location and he’s not out of the woods yet but so far the repair is holding which is a very good sign.” Chance’s parents hugged each other with relief. “I will come back out as soon as I have another update.” He nodded to them and went back through the emergency room doors.
I wanted so desperately to follow him, to see Chance for myself, to touch him to tell him how much I loved him but I just sat there feeling helpless.
We took walks, we dozed off, we did our best to have idle chit chat but mostly we sat there in silence. Each of us making our own deals with God if Chance got through this. It was another 3 hours before the doctor came out again. I didn’t like that, the more time that went on the more I worried.
He approached us again. “Mr. And Mrs. Anderson” he started. I didn’t like his tone, I didn’t like his expression, I was beginning to feel a pit of dread in my stomach. “Your son had a brain hemorrhage that we now have under control.” I was waiting for the BUT, I could tell there was a but. “We lost him for a while on the table.” I felt like someone had knocked the air out of me. “And we are not sure how that will affect him when he wakes up. He is in stable but critical condition right now. I can take you one at a time to see him if you like.” The doctor offered, his face conveying how difficult the last few hours must have been.
Chance’s Dad went first, followed by his Mom. When she came out they hugged and cried and my nerves were a mess.
Ashley looked at me “you next.” She told me nudging me to get up and go.
“Oh I’m sorry only family members are allowed back” The doctor began.
“She’s family” Chance’s Mom told him quietly but firmly. She squeezed my hand and I hugged her.
I followed the doctor down several long corridors until we reached the ICU. I thought I was ready to see him but I wasn’t. His face was swollen and covered in bruises. His skin where there weren’t bruises was white like death. His head was wrapped in bandages and he had cords coming from all parts of his body. A machine was breathing for him and you could hear the up and down of the machine fill the room.
“Can I, can I hold his hand?” I ask tentatively stepping slowly into the room.
The doctor looked at me with kind eyes and nodded “Just be very very gentle.”
I sat down in the chair beside his bed and gingerly lifted his hand in mine. “Chance” I whispered, I’m not really sure why I whispered. I kissed his fingers wanting so desperately for him to squeeze my hand as the tears fell down my face. “Chance, I love you. You are my forever. I’m sorry I was scared to admit it but I see it now. I couldn’t love anyone else because I had already given my heart to you a long time ago. You can’t leave me ok?” I begged his unconscious form. “I can’t lose you Chance.”
I felt the tears streaming down my face as I just sat there holding his hand and watching his stats on the monitors. His heart rate was steady, his oxygen levels were good and his blood pressure although a little low was still within the acceptable range. All good things I told myself. I remembered his Mom’s words if anyone can make it through this he can. I don’t know how long I sat there but the doctor eventually came to ask me to leave as they need to run some more tests.
When I arrived back in the waiting room they all stood up.
“Well?” Mom2 asked me. I raised my eyebrows unsure of what she meant. “You’ve been in nursing school you’ll understand better than then the rest of us, tell us how is he?”
I told her what I saw, about the stats being good and how important that was. The doctor eventually came to get Ashley but didn’t say anything about the tests. When she came back his parents insisted Ashley and I go home. It wouldn’t make sense for us all to be exhausted the next day. I stopped at my house grabbing clothes and crashed with her and Dylan at her house. I kept my phone close and plugged in just in case. I didn’t sleep much but I was able to get a few hours when I wasn’t plagued by nightmares or tears.iting here…