"Where are you taking me?"
I feel his chest rumble against my body as he laughs. I'm not sure how long he's been carrying me but I woke up in his arms.
"Are you going to fuck me again?"
"Fuck," he whispers, "if you're up for it. Yes."
I wrap my arm around his neck, bringing my face up closer to his ear.
"I'm definitely up for it."
"I'm going to ruin you," he growls as he starts to jog.
When we get to his room he slams me against the door and rubs himself against me.
My body trembles with anticipation.
"Yes, I want you so bad."
He pushes up into me as I claw at his back. He slides in to the hilt. He pulls his face from my neck and locks eyes as he starts to thrust.
His face is set, deeply concentrated, as he sets a brutal pace, savagely stroking so deeply inside of me that my head spins.
His hips piston in and out of me roughly, nailing me to the door. My hands grip onto his shoulders, uselessly trying to help him hold me up.
He moves expertly, his hips never falter.
"Look," he chokes out before looking down between us. I look down between my spread open legs. His thick length is covered in my wetness, sliding in and out of my greedy, waiting core.
I kiss and lick his jaw moving down over his neck and he freezes. His whole body is ridged and perfectly still. He's panting against my ear. He pulls out of me quickly, setting me down and pacing for a moment before gripping his bed tightly.
He's growling and shaking. His hands grip the mattress so hard his fingers are ripping into it.
After several minutes he relaxes some.
"I'm sorry... you licked... I was trying not to mark you."
"I licked what?"
"My neck, right here," he points to an area on his neck, "my mark goes here, you sucked on it and my wolf lost it. I'm sorry I needed to back up so I didn't mark you."
"Are you alright?"
"I'm good, sorry I scared you," he smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.
I feel like crying and I don't understand why. Seeing him sad is physically painful. I want to fix it.
"What would happen if you did mark me?"
"We would be connected on a deeper level. Our souls would be bound. We would both feel the bond even more intensely. Once we do that...there's no going back, it's forever, our bodies, souls, everything is tied together."
I must look as anxious as I feel.
"Don't worry, Cass, I know you're not ready for that. Being close to you makes me want to claim you as mine. I don't want to rush you or pressure you, a mark is special, I want you to want it, if I do it."
"I'm sorry, Aiden. You're being so patient with me. I see how hard this is for you. Can I... can I do anything to make you better?"
He smiles a little more genuinely.
"Will you come lay down with me? Stay the night?"
I blush at the sweetness of his request.
"I would love to. My first class is at eleven..."
"I'll get you home in time to get ready."
I snuggle into his side, wrapping my arm over his chest.
"I'm sorry to just leave you wound up, I'm not sure I can... I don't think I'll be able to calm myself down again..."
I giggle, "I'm ok if you're ok. I'm sorry I pushed you too far. I'll be more careful until... we get to that step."
I immediately tense, he hasn't been calling me by my full name.
"What happened to your parents?"
I feel myself internally shutting down. I don't talk about that, I don't talk about them.
"H-How do you know something happened to them?"
"I can feel it. I know you're closed off and alone, I just... I know I'm pushing you but... I don't know how we'll get closer if we don't talk to each other."
"I've never... Aiden, I'm not..."
"I can tell you about myself, eventually, maybe, you'll feel comfortable telling me."
"Ok," my body is still in high alert.
We lay in the dark, our bodies pressed together as he tells me everything there is to know about him. His childhood can only be described as idyllic. His parents are alive, he was beloved among his pack, he ran and played and even vacationed at Disneyworld once.
His Beta, Johnny, is his best friend. He hasn't faced significant loss or abuse or financial insecurity. We're as different as night and day.
No wonder he's so perfect... his life is literally... perfect.
I don't deserve someone like him. Why would we be mates? Why would the universe set him up with someone like me?
"Cass? You're quiet."
"It's just... fuck, Aiden. I wouldn't even know how to fit into your life. At every single stage our stories are different. You deserve someone who can love you, someone who hasn't been ruined already."
"You're not ruined, Cass. I think you fit with me perfectly. We're different but it's so we can balance each other. You think you don't fit but I can't begin to explain how wrong you are. You filled a hole that only you can fill. Fighting againt us is fighting against fate. We were chosen for eachother."
"God, I wish I was a wolf. It would make this so much easier. Humans don't have this same kind of unquestioning sense of the world around us. I want to believe you...desperately, but trust doesn't come easy. I'm so afraid that you'll realize you don't want me, that you'll leave."
"I know you can't feel what I'm feeling, Cass but if you could..." he sucks in a sharp breath, "you would understand that I can't leave you, I'm wholly yours. I'll spend as much time as it takes, making you believe it."
My heart hurts in my chest, I feel another crack in my high walls but instead of panic I feel a strange calm.
He reaches up instinctively and wipes the tears from my cheeks and I hold onto his body.
For the first time in thirteen years, I drift into easy, restful sleep.