Orientation had passed. Now we were entering some of the hottest days of summer, and, for those of us who had chosen to stay at the Lunar Temple and continue training, the Trials were beginning. During the first Trial, we were supposed to overcome a sexual issue or block in our past, in order to be free Vessels. Nothing could stop the energy from flowing completely. And so we needed to go back into our memories to find what might lie there, hidden and suppressed. On that morning, I went to meet Mistress Monet on the left wing of the learning area of the Temple. She and two attendants waited for me there. I was given three pills to swallow, and then led to a room. A large, comfortable chaise sat there, waiting. I was beginning to feel quite lightheaded, so one of the attendants helped me over and onto it. Then she pushed up my gown and pulled out an apparatus from beneath the chair. It was phallic shaped, looked like a kind of sex toy.
″Relax,″ she said, and pushed it inside of me. Then she strapped electrodes to my chest and forehead. A large screen came down in front of me, and she placed goggles over my eyes. Everything was dark.
″Go back,″ she said soothingly, ″let it take you back.″
I drifted off into nothingness for a moment. Then flashes of light and color began amid the darkness. Before I realized it, I had slipped under into what seemed like a strange lucid dream, a dream of a long-forgotten memory.
I was in my aunt’s enormous summer home, where I stayed after my parents had died. It was so exact in detail, it was as if I was both watching and reliving what had happened. Aunt Bethany rented rooms in the house. There was a man staying in one of the rooms. His name was David. David was a teacher of some sort, he always had a book with him. He was tall and beautiful, with soft dark hair and deep blue eyes. I couldn’t deny all of the strange new feelings that ran through me when I looked at him, the unfamiliar restlessness that he seemed to set loose in my blood. We started having conversations here and there, mostly about books and art. I made him laugh a lot. I loved the way that he looked at me; he made me feel like I was pretty. What was more, he really listened to me when we talked, he was interested in what I had to say. He didn’t treat me like an ignorant child not worth his time, the way that everyone else seemed to.
Aunt Bethany wasn’t ever really around, she was very busy with her real estate contracts and David and I were alone in the house quite often. That was the summer that I came of age, and my body was experiencing the changes. Nobody had explained to me what was going to happen, and at the time, of course, I had no awareness of the hybrid genes that I carried, which would enhance the strangeness of this time. There was a bed in the basement apartment, and many long afternoons I would lie on it and play with myself, trying to relieve some of the burning tension that I’d been feeling lately. One day I was doing this, lying there with my skirt up and my fingers inside my underclothes, and I heard a noise near by. My eyes had been closed and when I opened them I saw the house guest standing there watching me. I blushed when I realized that I had been caught, quickly yanking my fingers away and pulling down my skirt to cover myself. He chuckled a little.
″It’s alright,″ he said. ″I won’t tell.″
He invited me to his room then, asked if I wanted to talk about some of the things that I was feeling. As I lay back on his bed he climbed up beside me, the bed dipping with his weight. My heart began to pound wildly in my chest and there was a strange fluttering heat in my lower belly. He tentatively slid his warm hand up under my shirt and began to stroke my breasts. I noticed that there was a tightness in my nipples, they’d hardened into stiff points, and David rubbed his thumbs over them. While he did so, a tugging sensation started to build between my legs and I squirmed a little, squeezing my thighs together. He noticed this and a smile crossed his lips. He slowly and gently pulled down my underclothes and spread my legs apart.
At this point I was just mildly hesitant, yet curiosity was winning out and my skin was thrumming in feverish anticipation.
″Look down at yourself,″ he said, and I did, for the first time taking a good look at my womanhood.
It was pink and puffy, that small nub in the centre that felt so good to play with was swollen and standing up. I watched as one of his long fingers came down against it and began rubbing in small circles. I started to rock my hips against him a little bit, I couldn’t help it. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that what we were doing could be considered wrong, he was too old, and I shouldn’t be allowing him to touch me like this, shouldn’t be enjoying it as much as I was. Yet there was even something about that guilt that only increased the pleasure of his fingers against my most personal place.
I watched as he slid his fingers back further, dipping lightly into my entrance and then slicking back up over my swollen button again. Back and forth he went a few times and then before I knew it he had slid one of his fingers up inside of me and was moving it around, in and out, back and forth like he was looking for something, his pretty blue eyes darkened with arousal and concentration, his breath coming a little quicker. I didn’t know what to do with the sensations that my body was experiencing, didn’t know how to process it emotionally, I was lost at sea, floating somewhere near the ceiling.
″That’s it,″ he whispered encouragingly. ″You’re dripping wet. You needed this, didn’t you. Come for me, yes, yes, I’m gonna make your sweet little pussy come.″
I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant but the tone of his voice sent spasms through me and I ground my face into the pillow, biting the fabric between my teeth as I kept rocking on his fingers, hurtling towards something much, much too quickly.
Then all the air seemed to go out of my lungs and I felt my legs shaking, a burning hot rush of liquid came out of me and for a moment I wondered if I had peed myself, then realized that I didn’t care. I was still floating, detached from my body, part of me breaking off at that moment and scattering into the ether. He got up beside me and pulled me into his arms, holding me against him gently. I could feel his erect penis pressing into my lower back. I liked the feeling of him there and I liked the smell of his body, and I liked what had just happened and hated myself for it. I was dirty. But, I kept coming back for more. And before I knew it, I was passionately in love with him.
We continued to get along very well, discussing books and films and we enjoyed each other’s company even without all of out other activities. There wasn’t anyone else to talk to—my aunt was away so often and there weren’t really any other people my age around. David showed me his collection of adult picture books, featuring naked men and women in various poses together. I found that I particularly enjoyed looking at the images of the naked women, when I looked at their breasts my womanhood started to throb. He was delighted to find this out, and showed me other books which showed two busty women kissing and rubbing each other. While I looked longingly at the book David slipped his hand up my skirt and pushed my underclothes to the side so that his fingers could stroke me. I set the book down after a moment—he was rubbing me into a frenzy and I was starting to want more, more than he usually gave me. I leaned over and pressed my mouth against his, kissing him the way I’d always wanted to kiss someone but hadn’t yet gotten the chance. At first he seemed almost startled, then hungry, he kissed me back until I was feverish, sucking on my bottom lip, gently delving his tongue into my mouth.
He rearranged our bodies on the bed so that he could pull me onto his lap. I was just in my underclothes and a chemise now, I could clearly feel the bulge of him through his trousers and it excited me. I wound my arms around his neck and kissed him again, starting to slowly rock my pelvis against him while he fondled my breasts. I was so torn—I was dying to continue, to see where this would go. Yet I still couldn’t shake the feeling that, despite the pleasure, what I was doing was utterly wrong and that I should be punished for it. But, who was to decide that we were wrong? Who was there to see? My adoptive parents were dead, I had no idea who my biological parents even were, and my distracted, overworked aunt was always away. Even if she were to find out somehow the worst thing that she would do would be to send him away, and send me to one of the therapists that she was so fond of seeing in order to discuss my feelings about the matter. There was no one there to punish or judge me, except for myself, and possibly the gods. I’d always been taught that love and pleasure were sacred to the gods, and there were no specifics on where that love and pleasure was found.
He started to moan a little, underneath me. He halted his motions, breaking the kiss gently and moving me back so that he could unbutton his pants. Just as he began to pull his cock out, the image began to slowly dissolve. My mind was dizzy for a moment as I started to return from the memory. It had been so very real that I seemed to have been reliving it, and I was disoriented to find myself now blinking awake in the room with the screen in front of me, the electrodes still stuck all over my head and chest, the sex-toy like insert still between my legs. The door opened and Monet walked in, smiling.
″Very good, Nivenna,″ she said.
After that, I was helped back to my room, where I fell into a long, deep slumber full of echoes. When I awoke the following day, it seemed as though there were now cracks slowly forming inside my mind, some wall was starting to shake at its foundations, a wall that I didn’t even know I had built. I wondered at what I would find on the other side, and I was both curious and uneasy about it.
During the next session, even more memories came and soon I was flung back into my past, a time I thought I had forgotten almost completely:
It was summer, after all, and so David and I had planned to go to the beach. I’d had another one of my ‘accidents’ the night before, when the fevered dreams would overcome me and I would wake with my underclothes damp. These were becoming more frequent and there was a warm, buzzing ache between my legs for much of the day now. David was still staying in the room across from mine, the blue suite. Our games were growing a little more heated, our conversations deeper. We would rough-house on the bed and look at pictures, he put his fingers in my underwear and up under my shirt, sometimes we’d dry-hump but nothing really more than that, though I sensed that both of us wanted to.
I got dressed for the beach, pulling on the two-piece bathing suit that I’d bought recently. I looked at myself in the mirror: my body had changed drastically in the past several months, my hips had begun to flare a bit and my breasts had grown seemingly overnight and they were getting larger all the time. As I watched myself in the mirror I cupped one in my hand, feeling the round softness, the tingling sensitivity, especially in my nipples, which started to get hard and tight. I brushed my fingertips over one of them, pinched it experimentally and felt that familiar pang in my spot as I did. I moved my hand down to the edge of my suit bottom and bit my lip. I didn’t really have the time to start playing with myself right then, I needed to finish dressing and then pack a bag for the trip.
I tied on the top half of my suit and found that it looked more than satisfactory. Smiling, I pulled a light cotton tunic over myself and grabbed my shorts and sandals. Just David and I were going, but there would be other people gathering at the beach—many of my aunt’s acquaintances would probably be there. Once we arrived, I pulled off my overshirt and marvelled at the feel of the sun and breeze on my skin. Out of the corner of my eye I saw David watching me. His eyes were dark and he swallowed hard. Our eyes met for a moment before he forced himself to look away.
I spent a good deal of time by the water while David went further up on the beach and was engaged in a conversation with one of my aunt’s associates, but I could feel his gaze prickling the back of my neck. I went splashing into the sea, luxuriating in the relaxing coolness. I loved swimming.
Later there was a lunch and everyone gathered in the picnic grove by the wooded area several yards up from the beach. I walked along the shore, collecting sea glass and driftwood, trying to distract myself from my growing need. When I reached the edges of the forest I heard footsteps behind me, turned and saw David. I quickly craned my neck to glance over at the others, who were all sufficiently distracted. I moved a little further into the woods, behind a tree, motioning for David to follow. His breath was coming a little harder and my eyes immediately traveled down to the bulge in his pants. I smiled at the evidence of his desire and felt an answering response begin in my womb. David came to stand behind me, pulling me against him.
″Look at you, all wet,″ he whispered, and I felt his warm breath against my ear. ″You have no idea what you’re doing to me.″
Tentatively, his fingers brushed against the curve of my breast. ″These are getting better all the time,″ he told me, sliding his big hand beneath my swim top, cupping it.
I bit back a moan as he started to toy with my nipple.
″Just want to suck these,″ he murmured. ″Would you like that, Nive?″ he asked. ″Is that why you’ve been showing them off to me all day?″
I gave a nod. ″Yes,″ I murmured, practically melting at the thought of his mouth on me. I squeezed my legs together to try and assuage some of the needy burn that was spreading there.
David noticed this. ″I love how insatiable you are, how responsive,″ he told me.
″Can we go home soon?″ I asked.
He nodded. ″Just a little while longer.″
It seemed to stretch for hours, I tried to distract myself with the beauty of the scenery around me, but it was hard to think of anything besides the throbbing under my skin, the anticipation. I had to suppress the urge to lick my lips as I observed David from across the table when we sat down to lunch.
My swimsuit bottom was soaking wet by the time that we arrived back home as the sun was beginning to set and I was practically trembling. David turned on all the lights and lit an incense. The whole place felt very comfortable. He wordlessly took my hand and led me into his large, en suite bathroom, where he lit several candles and then began to fill the marble tub. It was lovely and warm and fragrant in there. He helped me out of my bathing suit, slowly untying the strings on the top and revealing my breasts to him. Then his hands slid down my torso and he hooked his thumbs under the bottoms and pulled them down my legs.
″Gods, look at you,″ he whispered, gently touching his fingers to my mound. ″I never even saw a grown woman get so aroused. Damn,″ he swore, brushing my nub. ″You get so swollen.″
I bucked against him. ″Fingers inside, please,″ I gasped.
He smiled. ″Patience,″ he told me as he removed his shirt, and then started to unbuckle his pants. I was getting even more excited now—maybe he would let me see it, let me touch it directly. I’d only ever felt it through clothes and I wanted more intimate contact.
″I’m not going to fuck you,″ he said. ″Not yet, you’re not ready. Someday soon, though, but we can work up to that. I want you to enjoy it completely,″ he added, briefly putting his hand against my face and looking into my eyes with a loving gaze.
Then he pushed down his pants and briefs and soon was standing naked in front of me, his long thick cock jutting out, very erect. I felt my pussy clench as I gazed at it hungrily. I knew exactly where I needed that thing to be. David took my hand, helping me step up and into the tub. Together we sank into the warm water.
My heart was pounding as he took my tits into his hands and started gently squeezing them. Then he leaned down and fastened his lips to my neck, slowly kissing lower and lower until his tongue was laving at the tops of my breasts. I arched my back and started reflexively bucking my hips under the water as his mouth found my nipple and he sucked and flicked it with his tongue. He kept this up until I could barely stand it. I reached out my hand and wrapped it around his erection. David made a low hissing sound against my skin. I experimented with the feel of the silky hard rod filling my palm, started stroking him back and forth, alternating fast and slow. I felt him twitch, he moved his hips in time with my motions and let out a groan of pleasure.
″How am I doing?″ I asked him.
He bucked his hips again sharply. ″So good,″ David replied. His hand moved in the water, found my aching womanhood and slipped two fingers inside, pleasuring me in tandem as I stroked him. It felt so good to have his fingers inside me at last, he moved them quickly in and out while I rocked against him.
″Next time,″ he gasped, ″I’m gonna eat you out while you suck my dick. Would you like that?″
″Yes, yes, please,″ I said, and the thought of him licking me there made me ache more. I ground down hard against him, frantically riding his fingers while I kept pleasuring him with my hand. I soon felt the familiar, wonderful pressure begin to build; it was building in David too, I knew, and then he made a weird, choked noise and I watched as he came, white fluid spurting out of the tip of his cock and into the warm water. This was so utterly erotic a sight that it made me come, the orgasm catching me off guard. It took us both a moment to calm down, he pulled me into his arms and I leaned against him. He pulled his fingers out of me but then started rubbing my clit as he held me, building up little aftershocks that soon had me writhing.
Tears were on my face once the session ended. I was overcome with a deep feeling of loss that I had kept hidden for a long time. Truth be told, it had been years since I’d really thought of David, it hurt too much to recall those times, and so I buried them deeply. Now, it seemed, they were bubbling to the surface again, coaxed forth by the Trials.
″Are you alright, Nivenna?″ Monet asked as she helped to unhook me. She gave me a soft, almost too-knowing look. ″These sessions can sometimes be rather intense. They’re meant to bring up issues in the past that might be relevant to your process of awakening. You need to be a clear channel, and to do that, you must understand yourself, make peace with your entire being.″
I nodded. I did understand, but it was still difficult. I felt very raw, and thin. Trying to fight back the tears that threatened to fall, I make my way back to the dormitories alone. The sky above was darkening again with another summer storm.