Like I wish there's some mix up with the contract that instead of 12 weeks, it says 21 weeks.
Or the dates, instead of 17th of July to 17th of October, with the possibility of extension to 17th of January, the words between October to 17th of miraculously disappear leaving me no option but to stay until January.
Or I haven't been so diligent with my pills that I missed one or two, miraculously planting a seed in me so I have to extend my existence in his life, until the end of it.
Gosh there're so many things going through my mind of how much I want things to fuck up just so I can go back to him, because I really, really miss him.
From having him with me every single day to a total disappearance like this, everything seems so wrong, so out of place. Worst of all, every single thing I do or see reminds me of him.
Oh how I hate this phase. This heart broken phase of feeling hollow, hopeless, helpless.
But I've done this so many times and I know the recipe to mend my broken heart.
That's why I mop around the entire weekend, pouring my heart out in front of my besties -thank God for technology-, drown myself in alcohol and junk food, sleep all day then cry till I'm tired, hit repeat.
By Monday I force myself to be up and running so I can get on my track to being a successful woman. First, ace this internship. Then finish my degree. Finally, into the workforce and find a loaded man to marry.
So yeah, first let's ace this internship.
"Are you free next weekend?" Evie asks when we're sitting at our favorite lunch spot.
Her eyes widen as she stops munching, "Whoaaaaa what? You're actually free? Oh my God!"
I roll my eyes, totally notice her mockery for the fact I've always said no whenever any of our colleagues, including her, ask if I want to hang out or join the office events. I was obligated to spend my time with Owen so I had to say no, though I know Owen would have no problem letting me join them.
"I'm open any day, any weekend from now on."
She narrows her eyes with the accusing tone, "Is there something you're not telling me?"
I shrug with a meh.
"Let me correct myself. Is there someone you're not telling me about?"
I sigh before I unscrew the cap of my water bottle, Don't forget to drink water, you need to stay hydrated so I can make your throat dry again. I love hearing you scream my name, Precious.
Ohhhh fuck. Why do I have to remember him again and again whenever I do something! This is so frustrating!
"Fine I'll spell it out." She balls her burger wrapper then reaches for her own water bottle, "Owen and you are not together anymore?"
I screw the cap and hum lazily, "Hmm."
"Oh? What happened? I thought he asked you to move in last week? Is it because you said no?"
"So no means ending everything?"
She doesn't need the details so I hum again, "Hmm."
"Why? Just tell him to take it slow. Any sane human being would agree three months is too fast to go to that phase. Back up a little. Because I can see you don't look like you're happy with what happened."
I lift myself and straighten my skirt, ready to leave the bench. I don't think I wanna talk about this with her.
"I'm sorry if I overstep." She seems to get the hint. Good, because I really don't want to talk about someone who she's known for years for the fact we've been friends for only three months. If anything, she should be on his side.
"Anyway," she beams in her cheerful self again once we're in the office building, "Since you're free next weekend, do you wanna come to a Halloween party? My sister in law throws a sick party every year so maybe, you wanna join me?"
This is unbelievable. After what happened at the park, she's inviting me to a party? That's the last place I wanna be at. Owen for sure will be there too, afterall their elite circle isn't that big. They'll bump onto each other one way or another.
"Owen never attends it," she's really good at reading me, "So please, come. There'll be a bunch of chocolates and alcohol, perfect to cure your broken heart."
The party is sick.
Madeline Knight has multiple booths at her garden and ballroom, providing more than twenty stations for the kids to go for trick or treat and play games, until 9pm when everyone under eighteen were requested to leave so the adults can have a real sick party.
I was already fascinated by how fun the party was because I enjoyed playing the games with the kids, but when 10pm hits, Madeline brings out a whole crew of dancers in accordance to her Arabian Night theme.
Damn, I get hot and bothered myself watching those belly dancing as gorgeous men start to flood the party. Instead of just the parents, the party now has a great mixture of single, attractive folk joining.
"Can I buy you a drink?"
For the tenth time, or more, well it feels like it, I smile and shake my head politely, "You don't have to, it's an open bar."
"I didn't say tonight."
His smirk is as interesting as his reply, which intrigued me. His dark hair highlights the sparkle in his blue eyes; he's hot. His physique is complimenting his looks too, and the way he dresses, well, he definitely takes an advantage of the Arabian night with that open vest, showing a stack of abs.
"We can go tonight if you want." Maybe you can make me forget a certain someone.
"Alright I'll summon my magic carpet then."
The remaining nine weeks in New York was filled with more Aladdins, and I'm glad I took that route to mend my broken heart. At least I don't need to cry in my bed anymore. Or should I say, cry in despair because I did cry those nine weeks; the much-needed cries in pleasure.
On the second week of January, I fly back to London with a stitched heart, ready to start my new semester and truly excited awaiting the new prospect of my latest sugar daddy. Perhaps he'll be able to fill this empty space, hopefully not a perfect man like O.H. because it would be hell to be broken this way again after 12 weeks.
"I have quite a few for you Elle, the question is, do you want a new daddy or someone you've been with before?"
I sigh, "Is it Ray?" He did text me all the time when I was in New York, relentlessly picturing our time together once I'm back here.
"How about a surprise?"
"It's Ray," I say boringly which she laughs so loud making me instantly pull the phone a bit farther from my ear.
"Set it up."
"Set it up? Are you sure?"
"Set it up." Because I need to see him and spell everything face to face since it's so hard for him to accept that we can never be together.
It's too risky. And reckless. There is no way I'd jeopardise my future. If he wants to date me, fucking wait till I finish my degree. Is it so hard to understand?
And the way he's pushing it is so not cool. If anything, being pushy is not something I fancy having as a boyfriend much less a husband.
But I also hate how non-pushy Owen is. All my sugar daddies, and I really mean ALL with capital letters and bold and italic whatnot, ALL of them tracked me down, asked for a second chance, asked for an extension if not a relationship. But Owen disappeared from my life as if I'm nothing to him.
Which I probably am.
"Alright, I'll email you the details in a minute, baby girl." Baby girl. His greeting the morning I stupidly proposed for Nakey Saturday.
"Welcome home!" Welcome home Precious, now show me that ass I've missed.
When will I finally wake up from this nightmare? It hurts too much, yet I can't help but do nothing because I've tried, believe me I've tried every possible method to get rid of him but he keeps on invading my mind. Precious misses you so much Owen.