I turn to my side to look at him. He is leisurely lying down with his abs to the bed, while I'm lying next to him also facing down but with my laptop in front of me. I totally forgot I have to submit an assignment by midnight. Good thing we finished fifteen minutes before the deadline and I managed to proof read everything before sending it to my lecturer.
"Honesty before romance." I agree with him. Those fights were wearing me down too. They took up so much space in my mind that I have difficulty to focus on my education.
"Should we talk tonight?" I near myself so we'd be tangled with each other's limbs, "Or tomorrow morning?"
I left to his office right after I replied his text. We went for a quick one before he decided to leave earlier so we can fuck properly at home. And here we are, naked in his bed after those massive, explosive orgasms he gave me.
"You know what they say about never going to bed mad."
I smile at how cute he is right now. Messy sex hair, looking all mighty and strong with toned arms, packs on the abs, and thick muscled thighs, but with one flaccid dick. My new definition of cute.
"Let's wash up then talk at the living room. I'll bring my best bottle of scotch."
"Before I started this career four years ago, I made a promise to myself. A promise that I will not break, no matter what happens. The same promise that helps me brave through the entire four years." I start once both of us sit comfortably on the couch.
I'm at the corner with my Rose as he is a few inches away, already finishing his second serving of scotch. We're all ready to have that deep, much needed conversation to avoid more arguments in the future. Silly arguments, that are caused by lack of communication.
"I like money. I don't care what you want to think of me, but I'm gonna say it out loud, I. Like. Money. Even if I don't say it out loud, you of all people would've guessed it considering how fast I said yes when you offered two grand for a week. So yes, I like money, very much."
He still has that poker face, which I'm so thankful for because I need this non-judgemental attitude for me to go on.
"It's easy money. But I have no intention of living my life this way my entire life. I have a goal. With a certain timeframe. I promise myself I will only be a sugar baby until my graduation. I promise myself I will never be in a relationship with my sugar daddy, no matter what." That's when his face drops.
But I need to continue. I need to make him understand where I'm going at.
"Just like everyone, I want to have a family of my own. A husband, children, the normal set up. I also want to have a career, which is why despite everything going on in my life, my commitment to my contractual relationship with the sugar daddy, I still put my education first. Because I wanna make a name of myself. I want to earn money with my own hard work. Then I'll find a husband, and have children." His face brights up again, but I'm pretty sure he'll turn sullen once he hears the next thing I'm gonna say.
"I want that fairy tale story. I want to meet my husband the conventional way, not because he's my sugar daddy. I wanna tell my kids I met their daddy with this certain cute story, not by a sugar baby contract because I like money." I was right. He's completely devastated with his eyes giving the defeated look.
"You're not the first sugar daddy I fell for-"
"You fell for me?" He gasps.
I narrow my eyes when he interrupts me which he grins sheepishly, "Sorry, just wanna get the fact straight before you proceed. Can't understand the whole point if we don't get the fundamentals right, isn't it?"
I roll my eyes but chuckle lightly at his remarks. The mood has lighten a bit despite my little speech just now.
"I did." I answer truthfully. "I do."
He seems like he wants to hide the smile on his face but he can't help it, he even smiles so wide I can see the dimple on his left cheek. Definitely proud and all smug.
"But I don't think I can go against my promise, Owen. I have a clear vision of what I want, and being in a relationship with you, being your girlfriend, is not something that I can do. Or want to."
I know, I'm so harsh with my confession. But I need to put everything on the table.
"So you have no intention to be my girlfriend? At all?"
"At all." I answer while maintaining the eye contact.
He nods and calmly replies, "Okay."
"I love how compatible we were when we're in New York. I love how I looked forward to be with you day after day and I hated the way I was so heartbroken when I left. The entire three months we weren't together, I regret so much for not accepting your offer to stay at your place. I regret not giving you a chance when you confessed. That's why I said yes when you asked me three weeks ago. I want to have you in my life again."
"But you don't know if you want me in your life forever, or until graduation." He supplies which I nod.
"Or until you've found the husband with that cute story."
I nod again but this time I laugh when he chuckles at the end of his remark. I'm glad how we deal with this, how open he is to have this conversation.
"So you don't want a future with me. I'm just your pit stop until your final destination. With that cute-story husband." He scoots and within seconds he's already next to me.
"I know I sound like a douche, but yes. You're right."
"I'm Mr Right Now." He nears his face to mine and kisses me when I'm still laughing at the title he's calling himself.
"Thank you for being honest with me." He whispers when his lips are still touching mine.
"I thought I at least had a chance to forever but I didn't even make it to the second round, much less the final match."
"I'm sorry Owen. I love you, I really do."
"But you have standards." He says jokingly which I laugh. He's right though; no sugar daddy in the husband criteria.
"I swear if you're not my sugar daddy you would've gone straight to the final. You would've won."
"I would've won." He echoes with regret and frustration in his voice.
I kiss him again but he doesn't seem to put the same force or passion in it. His mind is somewhere else, perhaps dwelling on the fate that we have to meet this way that lead to my rejection.
"If you were to do things by your promise, the thing we have between us would end in ten weeks."
I nod again. Perhaps by that time, I've gotten enough dose of him that I can proceed with the future I've been drafting since I was in school. Build a career, find a husband, have kids. In that particular order.
"I love you, Owen."
He smiles as he cups my cheeks, "I love you too, Precious."