The entire top deck of this cruise ship is filled with champagne colored roses making it the most beautiful wedding deco I've ever seen. The view is spectacular because the ship is anchored with mountains as the background, sea breeze filling the air, the right temperature and weather; everything is absolutely perfect and dreamy.
Thirteen year old Mason is so much taller than her mother. I was already surprised seeing his twin, Mimi next to their dad at the stage, holding the ring as they wait for Evie and Mason, but seeing the teenage boy himself, oh my God. He's gonna break girls' heart soon enough.
Two identical flower boys whom I believe are Evie and Augustine's twin toddlers walk with an adorable flower girl in the middle, scattering champagne colored rose petals as Evie and Mason walk behind them.
The song stops after Mason hands out Evie to his father, and I can't help but to appreciate the handsome officiator. Everybody on that stage is beautiful, but he definitely catches the most attention. Perhaps that's how he managed to make Owen move on that fast.
According to my research -as usual, special thanks to Google and social media platforms-, apparently they've been married for two years.
Hugo Ortega is a 49 year old businessman who has five kids with four ex-wives. So they have something in common there, if you get what I mean.
Anyway, it's interesting to know they met three years ago at a photo shoot where Owen modelled for one of the brands under Hugo's family-inherited company. Hugo wanted to make an appearance for the 60th year anniversary of the brand so he modelled along for that Fall collection, and that's how everything began.
I also remember spending that Fall with sleeping pills just so I can stop the sadness in me. Sleep cures everything; that's what I used to think. Then I went to therapy and directed my attention to something worth doing; work. And sex.
Everybody cheers when the newly weds kiss after exchanging rings. I shift my eyes to look at the flower girl who's standing next to the twins.
"Are you okay babe?" I feel a hand creeps on my arm as he asks me, "You look like you've seen a ghost."
I am. I'm seeing a ghost of my daughter. My dead daughter, who'll be around her age if she's still alive. I wonder if she'll have blonde hair and clear eyes like her? If she'll be beautiful like her too?
Oh God. I need a drink.
I was seated at the table during the reception when suddenly I heard the cutest little voice from my right, "Eres muy guapa!"
I turn to the seat that's supposed to be occupied by my boyfriend but he went to the restroom a minute ago so I'm absolutely surprised to see the flower girl, the girl I've been adoring since the ceremony this afternoon, to be sitting on Karl's seat.
"Eres muyyyy guapa! (You are veryyyy pretty!)" She repeats what she said in what I assumed Spanish.
Which I totally don't understand so I raise an eyebrow, can't help but to smile seeing her excited face, "I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying. Can you speak English?"
She nods twice, answering me with another cute, excited voice, "Si si, por supuesto! Yo puedo hablar ingles. (Yes yes of course! I can speak English.)"
I laugh hearing her reply. I do understand some of the words which I believe she says she can speak English but she's still speaking Spanish. How adorable.
"I'm Estelle." I hold out my hand for a handshake which she takes with pure delight, "I'm Pao."
"Pao? Aww, what a cute name. How old are you?"
She raises two chubby fingers, "Two."
"Two? You're too smart for your age, Sweetheart. So what did you say just now? Muy guapa?" I ask again since I've gotten her to switch the language.
"Si. You're hot."
"What?" I blink repeatedly hearing what she just said. Hot? Did a two year old just complimented me that? I'm hot?
"Si. Eres muyyyyy guapa! You're hot!" Her big turquoise, greenish, bluish, oh God I seriously can't figure out what color is her eyes since there's a combination of everything, with a speckle of brown in the middle, grow bigger as she excitedly repeats what she said earlier.
I laugh thinking what else did her parents or siblings teach her because seriously, You're hot? Did they really teach her that?
"I want to be hot like you."
Her heavy Spanish accent suddenly reminds me of one particular man. Or to be specific, the one I googled last night. Is she his daughter? Is Pao Hugo Ortega's daughter?
But the color of her eyes is telling me something else. Her blonde hair supports my theory because Hugo Ortega has dark hair. Her face shape, lips, cheek bones, everything mimics that one person in my mind.
She is a female version of Owen Harris.
"Pao!" Both of us turn our head to the owner of that deep, familiar voice who's walking in a furious speed towards us.
"Papa!" She waves her hands repeatedly to signal her location but Owen is already approaching us. I can see the shock on his face upon realising his daughter is sitting next to his ex-wife.
"What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you're going somewhere?" He speaks fluent Spanish with her without acknowledging my presence, seems to be scolding her.
"I just wanna tell her she's very pretty." She looked sad, as Owen removes her from the seat, taking her in his arms.
"Don't do it again." His tone lightens as he looks at me while carrying her, "Hi. I'm sorry if she disturbed you."
I quickly stand up as I shake my head, "No no, I don't mind at all. She's gorgeous by the way."
He suddenly smiles as the dimple on his cheek resurfaces, "Did she tell you anything?"
"Uhmmm yeah. That I'm... hot?" I look at her again which she nods, admitting it.
Owen laughs, he fucking laughs before kissing his daughter's forehead, "She meant it to be pretty. Not hot. Muy guapa, very pretty."
"Ohhh." I laugh along realising how silly she is.
"No, don't say that word!" I cut him off when he already opened his mouth, which I believe to say the annoying Eeeee.
"Haha okay okay. I won't." He runs his fingers as an act of zipping his lips. Pao giggles watching her father, putting her hand across her mouth to cover her laughing sound.
"How come you're pretty turned you're hot?" I ask, wanting to lighten the air between us.
"Her brothers throw She's hot all the time so one day she asked what does that mean, they kept it PG rated and told her it means She's pretty instead. Muy guapa. I have no idea who else she says that to, this is her first time away from Barcelona.”
So they live with Hugo's kids too? Because I know Hugo has five kids aged 20 to 12. Wait, was it four? Since Pao would be the fifth kid. Uhh, I have to Google again later.
"So... she's yours?" I just have to confirm this.
"Yeah." That's all he offered, not adding any back story. Is that a hint to drop the topic?
"Hi." Karl comes into our little bubble as he puts a hand on my back, smiling to Owen and Pao.
"My boyfriend, Karl." I introduce him to them which Owen makes the first move by offering his hand, "Owen."
"Pao, can you say hi to Karl?" It's so cute seeing Owen with his daughter. He switches the language and tone easily as if he's done it a million times.
"Hi." She gives a little wave with her chubby hand which Karl waves back with the same cute tone, "Hiii."
I am trying my best to put a smiley face in front of them and fucking deal with my heart that felt like it's being punched, tramped, and everything lumped together at the same time. The daughter in his arm should be our little girl, not her.
I am happy for him, I really am, to know that he finally has a family of his own, a person who loves him dearly, and he looked so content throughout the night when I glanced at him and his husband, along with their daughter. They look like a model family, the one we always see in advertisements, in tv commercials, flaunting how happy they are.
But I can't help it. I can't help feeling jealous knowing the person who completes him isn't me, or the fact she isn't our daughter.
That should be me.
That should be us.