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A snippet of a long (over 4k) one-shot.

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This story is set in a world where humans and mythological/fantasy creatures live among each other. And there are no STDs (I don’t wanna fuss over a condom, lol).

This story has NOT been proofread, like Orc of mine is, so I apologize in advance for more typos. English is not my first language.

The one-shot:

“I’m- I’m coming!” I yelled when someone knocked on my door for the third time.

I was actually almost coming when I heard the first knock that had ruined my magical moment. Then, after the second knock, I got out of bed, irritated like hell.

“Uh, I just wanted to say hello. I moved in today, door number six,” came a deep, male voice from the other side of the door. “But—”

“W-wait… wait one second!” I quickly washed my hands, threw on a robe, and then rushed over to the door, my thighs slithering as they rubbed together.

“Asshole,” I softly whispered to myself as I grabbed the doorknob. I sighed, taking one last look at myself to make sure my robe was not showing anything that wasn’t meant for a stranger’s eyes.

“I can leave if you’re in the middle of something,” he said.

“Oh, it’s”—I yanked open the door and almost got a heart attack while looking at my newest neighbor—“okay.”

Of course! Of course, the guy that had moved in next door had to be a fucking centaur!

If there was one creature I absolutely despised, it was a centaur: half man, half horse, and cocky beyond words. They were horrible beings, almost as vulgar as satyrs, foul-mouthed as kobolds, and as rude as trolls. Plus, they never wore any clothing. What was up with that? Why couldn’t the tailors just make centaur-proof suits or something? I mean, what gave centaurs the right to walk around showing their muscles all day long, while I had to be stuffed in an uncomfortable suit in goddamn summer while suffering in high heels?

I suppose I was prejudiced when it came to centaurs. When I was still a child, one of them used to bully me all the time, and since then, I just couldn’t bring myself to like another.

I looked at my new neighbor, who playfully clopped his hooves against the ground, holding a small bouquet of field flowers in his hands.

The guy was huge, barely able to stand up straight in the hallway. He was broad-shouldered, sun-tanned, and had the lightest blue eyes I’d ever seen. His hair was long, raven black and shiny, draping over his shoulders and muscular arms. His locks did not quite match the lighter hairs on his chest, which grew in a fine line towards the fuzzy coat that covered the lower equine half of his body. That part was white-haired, decorated with big and small dark brown spots.

I bit my lip. Damn, he was kind of hot.

Wait, what am I even thinking?!

These creatures were not handsome! Nope, I would never admit a centaur was stunning, not even to myself.

“I really hope I am not disturbing you? My name is Karo.” He stretched out his hand, which I eagerly shook.

He hoped he was not disturbing me, he said? While the man had actually caught me during some well-deserved quality time with my vibrator collection. I was just about to get my rocks off when he started banging on my door. Really, couldn’t he have waited for just ten seconds more?

Fuck my life.

All week long, I had been looking forward to today. I was going to sleep in, masturbate all morning long, and then—ten orgasms later—I was going to watch Pride and Prejudice while ordering food in. This was my day after a hellish week at the office. One which I totally deserved, and now, this Karo dude had ruined everything!

“Darling?” he asked, calling for my attention.

“Oh, uh… No, you weren’t disturbing me at all.” I glared at him. “But calling me darling? Really?”

“You don’t like it?” He grinned and two deep dimples appeared on his cheeks. “Most girls do.”

“Guess I’m not like most girls.” I shrugged, looking at those dimples.

He took a bow. “I’m deeply sorry for offending you, Princess.”

Oh, please… He was clearly doing this on purpose. “Just call me Charlotte, will you?” I sighed.

“Okay, Lottie.” He chuckled. “Okay, I’ll be serious now. I kinda feel we got off on the wrong foot? While all I wanted was to say hi to my new neighbor. So hi, and these”—he offered me the flowers—”are for you.”

“They’re…lovely.” I hated to compliment him, but it was a lovely bouquet. Cornflowers, baby’s breath, sunflower, daisies, and lavender were bound together by a purple satin ribbon.

It had been a while since a man gave me flowers.

Or any other gift.

Or sex.

I took the flowers from his hands and brought them to my nose, smelling the floral bloom. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Picked them myself during a walk this morning.” He smiled, looking proud.

“That’s nice.” Okay, did I just give him another compliment?

“Well, I’m a nice guy.”

“Uh… Do you maybe wanna come in…?” I asked. Wait, what? Why, for the love of God, did I invite him to enter my house?!

“I’d love to, Lottie.”

“Okay then...” I cleared my throat and stepped aside to let the centaur enter my apartment.

He had to duck his head when he walked inside. “Lovely place, you have.”

He teasingly brushed his tail against my bare arm as he walked past me, causing a shiver to run down my spine. The long tail matched the color of his hair, both pitch black. It was soft as silk and smelled of coconut shampoo.

“Thanks,” I replied. “Do you want something to drink?” He was here now, anyway, so I might just as well be a suitable host, right?

“Sure.” He nodded.

“What would you like?” I asked, walking over to the kitchen.

“What do you have?”

“Coffee, tea, beer, wine—”

“Bit early for alcohol, isn’t it? Or are you trying to get me drunk already?” He asked, winking at me.

I opened the fridge while rolling my eyes. “I also have soda, water, milk—”

“Do you maybe have some apple juice?” he asked.

By coincidence, I had one box of apple juice left from my birthday party. “Yeah, actually, I do.”

“Can I have that? I fucking love that shit.”

“Uh, okay… You can thank my three-year-old nieces for this. It seems they left one, especially for you.”

“That’s cute.”

I walked over to him and handed him the box of juice. “I would say you could sit down, but I’ve never seen a centaur sitting on a chair or couch before…”

“Besides the fact that I can’t sit up straight, I’d probably break that thing in a heartbeat.” Karo looked at my couch. “And it seems expensive.”

“Stay standing, then.”

After finding a vase for the flowers, I made myself some coffee and walked over to my couch. I wasn’t planning on standing up just cause he couldn’t sit down with his four legs and huge ass. “Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll sit down,” I said, sitting down and making sure to keep my legs together.

“No need. I’ll just relax on the ground.” Karo sunk down next to the couch, folding three legs underneath his body and one to the side as he placed his lower body down in a half-sitting, half-lying position.

~~~~~~~~~~

Surprisingly, the centaur turned out to be an okay guy. We‘d been talking—and flirting?—for over an hour now.

“But, like… how do you wipe your ass after taking a shit?” I asked, noticing that there was no way his hands could reach his ass.

Karo laughed. “Wow, not everyone has the balls to ask me that on a first date. I like that.”

“This is not a date.”

“It feels like one, though…” I didn’t want to smile back at him, but I couldn’t hold back when he showed me his dimples again. “Anyway, to answer your question: I can only take shits at places that are centaur proof. So at home, work, or at a centaur club. We clean up using a special shower which cleans our ass. I promise it makes one squeaky clean.”

“Hm, I never knew that,” I answered. “And how about… uh… well… you know… releasing yourself?”

Because of the position he sat in, I couldn’t exactly look between his legs, but I believed that a centaur’s cock was located on the lower half body. I didn’t know if that was true, but I hadn’t seen anything hanging at the front earlier.

“You are talking about masturbating?” he asked.

I swallowed. “M-hm.”

“Oh, I have a fleshlight that’s built in a cabinet. Can go all out on that thing. When I’m done, I take out the silicone, clean it, put it back and it’s ready to go again.”

“That’s pretty smart.” I giggled.

Yup, I was even giggling by now. Who would have ever believed that I could have so much fun in the presence of a centaur?

As I finished my second coffee, Karo rose to his feet.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “I’ve been sitting for too long.”

“Oh…I- I didn’t mind.”

“But my legs minded.” He smiled. “I had real fun. So…uh… I think I’ll head home now?”

I stood up as well. I didn’t know why exactly, but part of me was a little disappointed he announced he had to leave. “Okay.”

“Unless you want me to stay, of course?”

I shrugged. “I mean… if you need to go home, then you should go.”

Karo slowly walked over to me and stopped, standing right in front of me. “I don’t want to go home, Charlotte.” He grabbed a lock of hair that hung in front of my blushing face and tugged it behind my ear. “I’d rather…do something about…that.” He pointed to the couch and my gaze followed his eyes.

What. The. Fuck?!

I froze.

On my couch, right at the spot I’d been sitting at for the past hour, was a wet patch staining the light brown suede!

My mouth fell open.

Karo leaned down to whisper into my ear, “Now, that’s either piss or something else… And I don’t think that’s urine...”

“I- I… what? I—”

I was mortified. Fucking mortified.

Please, someone, kill me now!

“It’s okay,” he said. His hot breath fanned against my ear. “I’m used to having this effect on a woman.”

I felt my cheeks heating. “S-shut up, you asshole! That- that’s not because of you.”

It really wasn’t. Karo just happen to catch me in the horniest state possible. Okay, maybe the flirting we’d been doing didn’t exactly dry me up either.

“Oh, Princess, I love myself a wet pussy… Want me to help you out?”

My breath hitched. “Why w-would I want that?”

“Because I’ll fuck you so good, I’ll make you scream. Promise.”

I looked up at him. “You got a big head.”

“And that’s not the only thing on me that’s big…"

His hand slowly caressed my cheek, my lips, then neck, and collarbone, before he pried his warm touch away and stepped back.

I knew exactly what he was referring to and quickly tilted my head to glance between his legs, where nothing spectacular caught my eyes. “There’s not even anything there,” I said, unimpressed.

Karo barked out a laugh. “It’s not out of its sheath right now. Not yet, anyway…”

“S-sheath?”

“You’ve never seen a centaur’s cock before, have you?”

I made some strange snorting noise while almost choking on my spit. “Thank goodness, no.”

“Thank goodness?” Karo asked before drawing his tongue over his bottom lip. “Oh, Lottie…You don’t know what the hell you’ve been missing…”

I felt myself clench between my legs, my slit dripping at his arrogant words.

Why was my treacherous pussy betraying me like his?

END of snippet. Read the whole one-shot on my Patreon.

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