Chapter 38...I want to go home
I jump startled by a hand touching me on my thigh scaring me.
"Hey Kitten,it's just me. Are you okay?" Justin says next to me on the bed.
I didn't even notice that he was in bed with me and I don't remember feeling him come inside the bed.
"Um yeah im good,i just had a bad dream that's all" I say to him
"Oh,do you wanna talk about it?" Justin asks
"No, not now please. When did you get back?" I respond changing the subject.
"About 4hours ago, Are you sure you okay" He says with a concerned look
"I want to go back home" I say thinking out loud
Justin shot up in a sitting position caught of guard by my words.
"Um,What!?" He says with a confused face.
" I want to go home" I repeat
"Giana I heard that but I'm just confused right now,I mean you want to leave me? Are you leaving me" he says choking on the last part.
"What no! Justin why would you think that! I'm not leaving you but I do want to see my mother especially after what happened with Markov and your ex I just need a mother's love right now but I will never leave you please remove that from your mind." I tell him taking his hand in mine kissing it.
"Then why do you suddenly want to go home and we haven't really talked about what happened, I'm not pressuring you to tell me now but I need to know if maybe you need a therapist or something, look Giana i have my own demons im fighting and I'm trying here." He tells me
" And if your bad dream is about Markov, don't worry you will never see him again because he met his maker a few hours ago and as for my ex I know she is at my parents house maybe she thinks i won't kill her infront of my mother but she is not a big threat for us i will deal with her when the time comes." He says getting out of bed making his way to his huge closet.
Justin comes out wearing black jeans,black tshirt and black Vans sneakers on, he looks stressed,he goes to the side of the bed opens a drawer there takes out a cigarette,a lighter and he goes to the mini bar fridge taking out a bottle of water making his way out the room but before he opens the door. When did he start smoking I internally ask myself.
"Um,Where are you going? and your laces are not tied you may trip and fall injuring yourself" I whisper shout at him concerned
Justin let the door handle go and looks down at his Sneakers frustrated,he goes down tying his laces.
"Thank you for saving me from my early death and I'm going for a drive i don't know where im going but I'm going." He says dripping sarcasm.
"You welcome but you don't have to be a bastard about it" I respond irritated by his childish behavior.
"Whatever Kitten,i've been called worse. don't wait up for me I might come back or not depends on who i bump into on my way." He says closing the door softly
How did we get here? Why is Justin always leaving me and Why is it always his way or no way,why is he angry at me for needing my mother?. I ask myself these questions but I have no answers to them.
As I sit on the bed with 21 questions on my mind I start to get angry at his selfish ways,I decide to check the time and its 5am in the morning so I decide to take a quick shower,after the shower i get dressed in my grey jumpsuit with black flat shoes,I tie my hair in a messy bun, I take out a small traveling suitcase I start to pack a few things I will need. I decide to call my mother to let her know that iam coming because she hates surprises alot just like me.
"Hey mommy" I say when she picks up
"Oh my baby is that you? Oh my God Giana is that you baby" my mother says surprised
"Yes mommy it's me,why you surprised" I ask because her surprise is not the normal one it's like she can't believe it's me because I died or something.
"Oh Thank you Jesus!!! Oh how i prayed to hear from you again." She says now crying, now im also starting to get emotional
"Mommy why you talking like that?,it's not like i missing, it's just that I have Um been busy with school so I haven't been having the time to call and I'm deeply sorry for being a bad child for that." I tell her sincerely with a few lies.
"Selena told me that you were living with a gang member and you have started working as an escort for him and you also using drugs but when i wanted to tell the police and look for you she told me that the man was dangerous so I will be putting your life and mine in danger but she will try to get you out,I can't lose you too Gigi I have lost so much already" She weeps on the phone.
"Mom No. that's all wrong, yes iam dating someone but his a good man just that his a rich man but he loves me and treats me well and im no escort or using drugs mommy, I was calling to let you know that I'm coming home for a visit you can see for yourself that I'm none of those things. Selena and I had a fight and it's a long story that I will tell you when I see you about it" I say holding my own tears back not surprised by Selena's lies.
"Oh okay baby when should i expect you? I also have something to tell you about but it's not a bad thing. Oh my baby is coming home !! I need to start preparing, is your boyfriend coming too?" She asks now sounding happy and excited.
"Um his a busy man mom so i don't think he will be able to come but I'm sure he would love to come with next time or I will drag him kicking and screaming with me" I say giggling picturing me dragging Justin Oh how I wish but that wish will never happen I bet you a million dollars.
Mom laughed at that too and she told me she had to go so she can start preparing for my e⁶56k66566w6666566come home,knowing her she will cook all my favorite foods and clean ergthe house spotless like im some kind of visitor she is extra like that but I love her to death.
I double check my suitcase to make sure i have everything and after that i drag my suitcase,take my book bag and phone leaving out the door,I make it down the stairs but Justin comes out of nowhere scaring me half to death for his sudden appearance.
"So you really are leaving me and you were gonna leave me without even a goodbye. so that's how little i mean to you Giana." He says looking very hurt,disappointed,angry,stressed and defeated.
I sigh looking defeated as well because I don't know how to get through his head right now or what I have to say to convince him that I'm not leaving him.
"Justin for the last time im not leaving you im just visiting my mother because I need her right now I have gone through a Traumatizing situation and I need her and I haven't seen her for some time now I miss her and I miss home too but I was never leaving you please believe me." I tell him
"If you not leaving me than why didn't you ask me to come with you and why didn't you send me a message or something" He says questionly
"Justin where are these insecurities coming from,where is the Justin im used to? I didn't ask you because you are a busy man with lots of tasks to get to and I was going to send you a message since you said you were going out for a drive." I say sighing for the 100th time. I'm this close to rolling my eyes at him and his childlike behavior.
"Giana as i said i have my own demons im fighting off everyday,I always had insecurities but only revealing them to you but I will be joining you in a day or two and end of discussion on that." He says taking my suitcase and book bag going outside the house,I follow him hesitantly.
Justin puts my stuff at back of the awaiting Bentley, once his done the man who caught me once peeping in on the window and who i remember vividly speaking to a few hours ago appeared and goes inside the Bentley in the driver's seat and waits patiently while im just standing there confused.
"Kitten Li will drive you to your home and will be your personal bodyguard while you there and you will not give him a hard time because he will return the same energy to you." Justin says smirking at Li and Li salutes him at that.
"Li you know what to do and by the time you get there you will have about 6men waiting for instructions from you and remember your number 1 priority is Giana life nothing else." He says to Li now the atmosphere serious.
"Um but um Justin how will i explain Li to my mother if his going to be permanently on my ass" I say irritated by the thought of having someone following my every move even at home.
"You won't even feel that his there and you will tell your mother whatever you want,you are a big girl im sure you can come up with something smart" He says taking my hand kissing it.
"But are we okay? I mean you believe that I'm not leaving you and we also have our own things we need to talk about that an issue but that's for another time" I say
"I will only relax when i can come back from work and see you in our room or wake up next to you but I do believe you baby" Justin says kissing my forehead lovingly.
I sigh now relieved that we are okay atleast because I really hate conflicts and especially with loved ones.
Without a warning i pull Justin down to my level and kissing him passionately and after his shock he returned my kisses until we were both out of breath and needed to pull away which we did hesitantly.
Justin pulls me softly towards the car and we both just look at each other for a couple of minutes until Justin finally breaks the eye contact and opening the car door for me,I slowly get in and he buckles me in and gives me a quick kiss on the lips and forehead.
"I will call you and I already miss you but I'm not too worried because I will be seeing you soon." He says looking at me sadly
"I will update you on my whereabouts every hour even though I know that you would know my every move" I say winking at him playfully.
Justin moves away from me slowly and closes the car door.
"I'll see you soon Kitten,take care of yourself and remember you are mine and only mine" He says outside the car window
"Li " Justin says hitting the car once signaling him to go.
Li reverses the car and in no time we are out the big gates of Justin house and I can't help but cry,I'm really going to miss him so much and I was used to seeing him everyday even though we didn't spend much time together but knowing that his coming back to me and also being surrounded by many things that are his was a comfort to me.
Iam also excited to see my mother and be at home i will even visit my father and brother resting place.