I tried to move my mouth calling out to him but my throat felt so dry and sore so i gave up after two tries so i will just wait for him to notice me or for a nurse to come in here, i realized that i was in hospital when i saw the two iv's on both my wrists that's when i remembered what happened.
After minutes of waiting and fighting off sleep a knock sounds at the door which wakes up Justin,He gets up from the uncomfortable position stretches and opens the door for the person who was knocking. A very petite older woman comes inside wearing a nurse uniform she slightly bows her head greeting Justin she then looks at me and sees that I'm awake and her face brighten.
"Oh look who decided to comeback to us,Hi Giana im nurse Betty,how are you feeling dear" Nurse Betty says cheerful
Justin has quickly moved to my side but hasn't said anything yet.
I don't respond to Betty because i still can't,so she starts checking machines,my eyes,head etc and writing down.
"Well all your vitals are doing well and you responding well to the medications, your drip and blood transfusion is fine too beautiful Giana" she says smiling big and she finally offers me a cup of water drinking it with a straw and my throat feels good so i decide to test my vocals.
"Thank you" I say with hoarseness
"You welcome sweetheart so i will inform your doctors that you awake and share your progress with them and they will come to check on you later" She says and walked out the room.
The room gets quiet,Justin and I just keep looking at each other while he plays with my hair gently. I decide to break the silence.
"Hi" I say smiling at him
"Hi" he says after sometime but not smiling
It gets quite again..and I don't know what to do now.
"Thank you for saving me but never ever do it again" he says fighting back tears
"I'm sorry to disappoint you Justin but I would do it again and again for you because I know deep down in my soul you would do it for me too" I tell him meaning every word.
Justin bows his down and sighs heavily.
"Kitten there is something that i should tell you but I don't have the guts to tell you because when it comes to you im a coward.i really hate myself for bringing you to my life but I'm also too selfish to let you go and so that you be happy somewhere else." He says taking deep breaths.
"What happened to the boy who tried to kill you" I decide to change the subject because i can sense Justin ending this conversation with breaking up with me and I told him that's never happening.
"I killed him" he says not even looking guilty for killing a teenager.
"Justin i know he tried to kill you but that was a small boy,maybe he was threatened to do it,he doesn't deserve to die that young" I tell him
"Giana my first kill was when i was 12 that boy was 15 way older than i was,he was no small boy in my world,he had to prove himself by attempting to kill a Don and when he agreed to come for me he knew he was not going to make it out alive but what i know for a fact is that hit was orchestrated by one of my own because i only told three people about taking you out and the incident about that fucker touching you was part of their plan so right now im a lone wolf because im running a pack with untrustworthy rats but they shall know me im done being nice and whoever it is know im onto him." Justin says with clenched teeth.
I get goosebumps at what Justin has shared because i can feel this is a personal issue now and blood will be shared.A knock sounds and Justin moves to open the door letting the doctor come in.
"Hello Signora welcome back, I'm doctor Vigilante you are a real fighter we almost lost you a couple of times on the operating table and I'm deeply sorry for your loss we tried every-" the doctor abruptly stops talking when Justin gives him death stares.
"Um,well looking at your chart nothing is of concern for now and your wounds will heal after a month but we will be watching and checking in everyday as per the Don's request and the results about your chances of ferti- " he bloody stops again!!
"Before i change your Peripheral venous catheter is there something you would like to ask Signora?" He continued after collecting himself.
"How many gunshots wounds did i have and did they cause any damages to my health and body like maybe not being able to do something like walking" I ask
"Giana that's not something to worry about,everything is fine and whatever is not will be, i will make sure of that. Let's just be happy you are alive Ok" Justin says now blocking my view of the doctor.
"So that means not everything is fine then and you are actually hiding something from me and we all know the truth always comes out but I'm giving you a chance to tell me now to avoid future arguments that can break or make us depending on the seriousness of the issue." I say
"Doctor check the iv's please." Justin says looking away from me,Dr vigilante gets to work quickly changing my iv's and doing other checks
"Everything is fine and the body pains should be less after changing the iv's but now i need to change your other catheter" he says looking at Justin nervous
"I'll do it myself like before" Justin says
It takes me a few seconds to figure out what is happening and I feel like opening a big hole and jumping inside when i realize that Justin has been changing my pee catheter.
"Ok the nurse will bring your soup and Cranberry juice in 30minutes time but if you need anything just press the button next to you." Dr Vigilante says making his way out the room
"Justin you can't please,ask one of the female doctors to do it "I tell him
"No! I want to do it and it's no big deal, you are mine as much as iam yours forever." He says while gently moving me and focuses on changing the catheter and once done he goes out with the one filled with my pee and I cant help but cry,I don't know if I'm crying because of embarrassment,feeling helpless or feeling grateful for having a man like Justin.
A phone vibrates near my pillow and I slowly and carefully try to move to answer it and when i finally gets to answer it I'm out of breath.
"Hi Justin, i tried to call your phone but it was on voice-mail so i panicked anyway i was just letting you know im on my way,how is my baby" The person on the phone says talking one way which by their voice I can hear it's my mother.
"Hi mommy it's me" I respond holding back tears
" Oh my baby!! I was so scared when Li told me what happened,how are you feeling baby" She says now crying
"I'm good mommy and Justin is making sure im well taken care of" I tell her
"What were you thinking Giana,Why would you do that to me! You know very well that you are my only baby and you try to be Captain saver" She shouts
"Mom calm down please, im sorry and yes it was a stupid move but I did it for the man i love and would do it again" I say
"No you will not young lady! You have just lost a child because of your stupidity and you might never be able to have that chance again and you still say you would do it for the man you love bullshit!" She shouts but I'm still repeating the words she just said but no it can't be..no i was not pregnant.
"Giana are you still there?" I hear my mother ask ,Justin comes back inside and immediately frowns when he sees the phone in my hand.
He slowly comes to me and takes the phone looking at the caller ID and listens for a few seconds and switched it off after.
I'm feeling alot of things at once and I don't know which one to acknowledge first so i can feel it and deal with it.Justin sits on the bed a bit far from me looking down.
"Was i pregnant and Justin i beg you not to lie to me as you were already planning to. " I say with tears running down my face.
"According to the doctors yes" he responds and I can't help the sobs that racks my body
"And what happened? Is that what the doctor was trying to tell me about?" I ask after my sobs have died down but still crying silently
"The baby died due to the gunshot on your stomach,there might be a 70% chance of not being able to have children again due to the complications but the doctor's are still running more tests and I have hired more doctors around the world to help but we can also adopt if you really want children in future and I'm sorry all this is my fault." He says
"How long was i pregnant for and when were you planning on telling me all this" I ask him
"4 weeks and I was never going to tell you because this was never our plan but still the pain of losing a child is undescribable and I have felt that pain before." He says still looking down.
"Do you want kids with me? " I ask
"Giana i try not to think that far ahead in my life because I'm a man with a target on my back so I live for the now but if I start thinking about kids than I need to think about a family of my own but can I have that? and can i bring a child already their fate decided for them,the choice of life and work they will do whether they like it or not like me. I have other brothers but i thought i was not going to be the Don because im the middle child but we were trained,tortured and sent on missions as tests and i passed them all but my brothers failed that's how i was chosen it was not what i wanted but learned to love it ,to die for it and even if i failed those tests i was still going to live a mafia life just with a different rank" he says
"You did not answer my question Justin" I tell him
He now looks at me and I see his eyes red,he looks broken and scared right now.
"Yes I do and not just only that i also dream for a family with you where i will call you my wife,the mother of my kids,my partner in everything including everything to my name." He tells me looking very proud
"Well the pain of knowing i just lost a child is unexplainable and I want to face and heal from this with you,This is nobody's fault we both didn't know i was pregnant but here we are so we will figure a way forward together and please start thinking about having our own family as I've said before I'm never leaving you unless it's forced by death." I tell him
"I wish i could hug and kiss you senseless right now but I can't Kitten and i have chosen the right woman this time and I have been greatly blessed." Justin says rubbing my legs gently giving me a mini massage.
"How many gunshots wounds do i have because my body feels numb,sore and everything that can explain the word pain." I say
"Only two,one in the stomach and one next to your ribcage.The boy was an amateur, at that age the way my killings were so clean and professional i was already being called by the name Mamba." Justin says boasting
"Excuse me why you say it like that,the boy did shoot me thats what important and you say it like it was not a big thing." I tell him
" when you set your eyes on your target you don't get distracted no matter what,he was supposed to stick to taking me out and not focus on a unarmed person unless they also armed,the boy panicked and lost his life."
I roll my eyes because I can't believe him right now and I have stopped crying i think the losing a baby issue has not fully hit me yet maybe it's because Justin is here and his presence is comforting and a distraction at the same time.
"Which hospital am I at and how long am i going to be here for." But before he can answer nurse Betty comes in rolling a try with food an medication.
"I'm sorry to disturb you but I need to feed her and give her medication Don and you should take that as a chance to go to one of the bathrooms here for a shower and change of close a lady by the name Rose brought"Nurse Betty says
"No i will feed her myself and giver her the medication"Justin says stubbornly
"Justin please do as she says i will be fine with her" I plead with him.
After a whole five minutes of back and forth arguing with him he finally gives in but promises to be back in two minutes,once he's closed the door Nurse Betty sighs heavily.
"Oh my! the Don is really stubborn just like his father but you my dear know exactly which buttons to press for him to turn into less of a intimidating man" She says
"The chaos that was here lastnight when you were brought in,the whole wing part of the hospital had to be cleared,scary men walking up and down,about 10 doctors called in to operate on you under the pressure of if you die they die too because they save lives but failed to do their jobs" She continues
"The man was running wild ,he even wanted to be in the operating room,he hasn't left your side since,he refused for a male doctor to dress you in a hospital gown,he had demands left ,right and centre. If my husband doesn't love me like the way the Don loves you than I'm divorcing him seriously" She says
I can't help but laugh at her last statement,Nurse Betty would get along perfectly with my mommy they are both chatter boxes.
She finally leaves after feeding me my soup,cranberry juice with a straw and giving me my medicine. The woman can talk your ear off for real,she even told me that Justin slapped someone when they kept telling him to go home to rest and that he has men walking up and down guarding this whole wing dedicated to only me
Justin comes back looking fresh,shaved and sexy with his all black Nike wear from head to toe.
"You look yummy in that outfit" I compliment
"Thank you baby,how are you feeling" he asks
"I'm already overwhelmed with being in the hospital i hate them." I truthfully say
"Well tonight you will be moved home because you obviously belong home with me ,I just need to confirm with your doctors and my pilot that the helicopter will be ready by then." Justin informs typing furiously on his phone.
"Justin you said the hit was orchestrated by someone close to you,do you know who it is?" I decide to ask because if his moving me back where the enemy is am i safe but more especially him.
"I have my guesses but they are not the master mind they are just an idiot who is promised a bigger slice of the cheese but not knowing its all a game,the master mind is someone that i share the same blood with,I confirmed this by the way this wholething was planned and don't worry you safe unless if_ no never mind the walls have ears baby let's talk about something else." He says
"What time is it?" I ask
"It's 4pm and you got here last night around 10pm and we leave tonight at 7pm, I have answered all your questions that I know we're coming next" he says smiling
It's good to see him smiling even though it's not his full smile but atleast his trying to smile through the storm we facing and deep down i know this is just a tip of the iceberg at what's to come and I pray we survive it together.