Chapter 63...Wedding vows
Iam currently sitting on the bed eating cereal with peanut butter because that's what im craving for,iam trying to focus on the movie that's playing but i just can't because Justin left thirty minutes ago together with the doctor. He hasn't said anything to me but i saw the relief in his eyes as soon as the doctor said everything was fine with the baby and iam still in the safe stages when it comes to having intimacy but we must be careful not to do anything extreme until he runs some tests and scan to see if all is well about my pregnancy.
I know Justin left together with the doctor to ask him questions he didn't want to ask infront of me and to maybe threaten the man about something.
My phone vibrates on the night stand i quickly take it thinking it's Justin but it's my mother.
"Hi mom" I say answering her call
"Hi peaches,how are you and my little angel growing inside you." She happily greets
My mother's happy mood makes me feel a bit better,i unconsciously start rubbing my belly feeling happy all of a sudden.
"We are doing good but Justin is mad at me and his probably mad at you too since you were part of keeping my secret for me." I decide to give her a heads up incase Justin decides to vent to his father about what my mother and i did.
My mother and Valentino have been having some sneaky hook up's together ever since the little surprise welcome home lunch for Justin. My mother refuses to tell me about what's going on between the two of them but blushes everytime Valentino's name comes up when we are discussing my wedding,Justin said it was not his business to know whatever is happening between those two adults, those are exactly his words.Typical Justin behavior.
"Oh Giana how did he find out and did he hurt you?." My mother asks panicking
"Mom calm down,I will tell you everything and you know very well Justin is not that kind of man no matter how his lifestyle is or wants him to bhn." I say to her truthfully
"Well peaches you may never know with Mafia men but even though Justin is a very dangerous man i think he would rather hurt himself before even attempts hurting you. Anyway i was just checking baby just doing my motherly duties." My mother says
"I appreciate you caring for me mama bear but you can put your claws away im always safe and protected with Justin." I tell her meaning my words.
"You will see why im like this and always will be even when you have your own baby peaches,you never stop being a mother and your motherly nature always comes out,wait until you have your own little girl or boy to protect and love you will understand me better." She says
"It's funny you said that because iam already feeling it but i also feel like im not ready to be a mother yet too." I say feeling emotional
"Don't you dare start doubting yourself Giana,You will be a great mother because i raised you and i know the kind of woman you are. Now tell me about how that never smiling man of yours found out and how much time do i have to get my insurance ready for my funeral because he will come for me too for being your accomplice." My mother says giggling trying to cheer me up and lighten the mood.
I tell my mother everything that happened but don't go into details about what we did on our bed even though she begged me to tell her saying that she might pick up a few things from us.
"Give him time baby im sure this was a surprise to him and you the one who told me that he reacts or deals with things differently than how most people do, so his probably just taking it all in but he will be back to you we both know you both can't stay away from each other too long especially now that you are carrying his precious cargo." My mother says giving me hope.
"You may be right mom ,maybe he just needs time to himself for now and i hope we won't fight about this and i also pray that this does not cause any rifts between us." I say
"No it won't honey,just talk to him about it and explain your side or your actions. apologize if needed but make sure that by the end of your conversation you are both okay and jumping each other's bones." She says giggling making me giggle too
I was about to answer her but a shadow of someone standing by the door caught me off guard when i moved my eyes from the cereal i was snacking on while talking to my other.i let out a little scream but calmed down as soon as i saw that it was Justin standing by the door slightly leaning on it with his hands inside his pocket.
"Giana! Giana! Baby are you there." My mother's concerned voice reminds me that im still h òon the phone with her.
"Um..mom I'll call you right back,Justin just got back so yeah! Bye and love you." I say hanging up the phone not even giving her a chance to reply,I'm just nervous that Justin is back and is handsomely standing there like nothing happened.
We just stare at each other intensely with so many emotions showing from our eyes,faces and body language and as always im the first one to break the spell we are both under by looking away from me and looking back at the movie playing but if you asked me the name of the movie or what it's all about i wouldn't know a thing.
"How long have you been standing there?." I ask my eyes still on the TV
"Not long,I just came back to check if the baby was okay or if you needed anything." He says moving from the door and i hear a soft click letting me know his closing it.
"The baby is okay and Maria has been in here every ten minutes asking me if i was fine or needed anything and i know thats your doing,Thank you." I try to be as calm and polite as possible i don't know how angry he is so i don't want to poke the lion any further.
"Good, so i will be in my office again if you need anything but Maria will keep checking on you." He says, i hear the door opening but I can't keep doing this with him,we need to talk about this and find common ground.
"Justin can i please have five minutes with you just to explain everything to you." I say now looking at him but his back is turned. He keeps quite for a few seconds and i hear him sigh loudly.
Justin closes the door and turns around faced me,he goes and takes a seat on the leather couch,looks at me straight in the eyes and gestures for me to speak with his hand I guess he is running out of patience because i was just staring at him not saying anything.
I gather some courage to talk to him after i cleared my head from all the negative things running inside it.
"The first thing that i want you to know is that i didn't mean for you to find out like this,secondly i didn't mean to hurt you i love you too much to intentionally hurt you. Thirdly iam so sorry for putting us in this situation we are in right now, please never doubt my love for you and the little peach im carrying inside me and lastly im sorry for not being a good partner to you and for bring a reckless soon to be mother . " I say sincerely
Justin gets up from the couch and comes to sit next to me,he wipes my tears which makes me cry more. I didn't even know that i was crying.He gently drags me to sit on his lap cuddling me while i cry. He rubs my back calming me down.
"You're quite a crier these days Kitten and im hardly moved or touched by someone's tears but yours always breaks my heart.Enough tears for today save some for tomorrow." He says smiling trying to lighten the mood
"I'm really sorry Justin,i planned to surprise you with the pregnancy news on our wedding night but i panicked after our intimacy." I say now calmed and able to talk clearly but my voice is slightly different from the crying i just did.
"It's okay,deep down i knew you meant well,I guess i was just shocked, surprised and i panicked when you said something may be wrong with the baby but iam really happy and excited about the news and very nervous about becoming somebody's father but i know with you by my side i will do good." He says kissing my forehead tenderely
"We will both help each other to become great parents and i can't believe our lives are about to change for the good,we are soon going to be Mr and Mrs and in less than eight months become parents." I say excited and feeling light because the heaviness that i was feeling in my heart is gone now that Justin and i are okay.
"Yes Kitten our lives are about to change and im sorry to bring this up now but that also means the security measures that are in place now stays even after the wedding." He says seriously
"You just ruined my happy mood." I say attempting to move away from him but he doesn't let me.
"Giana you are carrying my heir,my legacy and everything that will make sure my name never dies or gets forgotten . You are carrying the most hated unborn child in the underworld because everyone knows what will happen if that child lives so i need to protect you guys with my all that's why we will keep this pregnancy a secret until you give birth." Justin says dead serious
"Justin i see and understand where you're coming from but it's impossible to keep the pregnancy a secret until i give birth." I say
"It's very possible love,when you start showing and the stomach can't be hidden with clothes anymore you won't go outside. I don't what happened to my mother happen to you, please just trust me on this." He says almost begging.
"What happened to your mother is a different scenario Justin unless you have a mistress out there or a bitter ex." I say looking at him straight in the eyes for any lies from his reply.
"I don't have any mistresses or any bitter ex besides the ones you know of and those ones are no threats to you or our child because they know better than to try me." He says and i don't detect any lies from his statement.
Justin starts running his hand in my hair and i cuddle into him feeling sleepy.
"You want to take a little nap again?." Justin says
"Yes but if only if you join me." I say trying my luck for the second time today, iam addicted to him his become my drug i need every dose of him.
"I would love to but i have to attend a very important meeting today my love." He says kissing me
"That's okay i have already stressed you enough for today and also taken you away from your duties." I say sadly
"Don't say that and remove that sad look on you. I'm sorry for getting pissed off at you after you told me about the baby i guess you caught me off guard with that one." He says smiling at the end of his words
"It's a rare sight to get a reaction out of you and I'm sure many from your business affairs would love to get a reaction out of you because they are used to your blank look by now." I say
"You need to teach me how you do that it's interesting and it's fascinating to me." I continued
"I can't teach you that baby because for you to learn that you would have to go through Traumatizing situations that forces you to have a stone cold heart and mute your feelings to things." He says seriously
Justin gets up looking a bit stressed,sick and tired. I think this topic has triggered something in him,You can tell that Justin is a man who has gone through alot at such a young age and has probably seen and done things that most people would run for the hills if they had to go through the same things.
To lighten the mood a bit i take out my note pad that i always write a bunch of stuff on.
"Justin um... the wedding planner said i should start practicing my vows that i would be saying to you because i told her we would be saying our own vows so i wrote a few but i have chosen the perfect one that i would say to you on that day. Can i read you one or two of the ones i also liked but didn't choose and i wrote them myself." I say already in position to start reading.
"Kitten when we're you going to inform me about your decision about the vows,shouldn't i also have started writing too."
"No,I wanted to put you on the spot that day and for you to say whatever that came to your mind." I say smirking at him
"Mmm okay,i wasn't going to write them down anyway " He says
"Good! Now can i read you something now but only if you have the time." I say
Justin nods his head yes and moves to sit on the couch,he takes off his suit jacket,rolled his shirt sleeves up and sat crossed legged.
"Im all yours Kitten,I pass on the mic to you." Justin says smiling that boyish smile of his.i sit up straight and rolled my shoulders up and down to get rid of the nerves and took two deep breaths. I thought this was going to be easy but Justin's presence is intimidating me and knowing that all his focus is on me i feel like a little girl performing at a school's play for the first time. Iam shitting bullets and my hands are slightly shaking and sweaty...Justin starts acting busy with his phone like his not paying attention to me,i know he could tell how nervous i was after my mini panic attack and shaking hands.
After a good couple of minutes i gathered strength and just decided to do it.
"When i was growing up i used to watch many princess and prince movies and when my brother was mean to me i would always tell him that my prince will come find me one day and take me to his castle after fighting him with his sword and my brother would laugh at me but one day my father found me crying because my brother and his friends laughed at me for saying that calling me a liar, my father said."
"Your prince will come one day. He might not ride a white horse or live in a big castle but he will surely come and love you only you peaches, i believed him because my daddy was always right."
"when i grew up i stopped telling my brother that but i always believed that my prince was coming whenever i went through hardships in my teenage years going into adulthood. I once tried to commit suicide when i couldn't take the bullying,humiliation and suffering from my bullies and losing my father and brother at the same time but when i was about to cut my wrist in the ladies toilet so that i can bleed to my death i heard my father's voice telling me not to do it because my prince was on his way i just needed to hold on a little longer, i listened and believed him again." I say with tears threatening to come out,my voice is already shaky.
Justin's head was up and focused on me when i started reading but now his head hung low looking down,his legs are now not crossed his body is slightly leaning down. I cannot see his face at all.
"I had a dream and believed in it coming true and it came true even though i waited a little longer than i might have wanted but you my prince finally came and as my dad said you didn't come riding a white horse or lived in castle but i think your house is way better than the castle but just like he said you came and loved me and only me which is why iam becoming Mrs Sky today " I say finally letting my tears run free but im smiling at the same time.
Total silence falls after that and neither of us even moved,we were both in our own world lost in our thoughts.
Justin sighs loudly after sometime breaking the silence.i put up my hand stopping him from saying anything yet.
"Iam not done yet my prince. There is part two of my favorite vows" I say smiling at him through my tears.he doesn't say anything smart back like i expected disappointing me but i guess he doesn't find any humor in what's happening right now and knowing Justin he doesn't laugh or joke on anything he doesn't find funny.
"In my book you are my prince,in my movie you are my prince and hero. In my body you are my heart and in my life you are my everything and in turn iam your very clumsy,clingy,cry baby,sensitive fragile princess soon to be Queen. I love you now and forever my prince soon to be King." I finished closing my notepad not wanting him to see the other twelve vows i wrote or the one i chose for our wedding day.
" For the first time in my life i don't know what to say and no matter what i always had something to say whether i kept it inside me or said it out loud but i always had something but right now my mind is blank,my body is numb and my heart is beating in an usual rate, i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing " Justin says
"I need a cigarette or a drink or anything right now but i will settle for some fresh air because i can't smoke or drink in front of a pregnant woman especially my woman carrying my heir." He says getting up quickly and going to open the balcony going out.
I don't know if i should follow him or not,he wanted some fresh air that could mean he wanted some time alone to breath or some thinking space to gather his emotions but iam also worried about him because he looked a bit shaken up like he was going to have a panic attack or faint any time soon.