I pushed on Logan’s chest, startled at his quick advance. He pulled back immediately. I gave him a pained expression.
“Logan...” I said, feeling even worse than before.
“I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. “God, I know I came on too strong but I really like you. I am so sorry I took advantage of you. You deserve better. I shouldn’t have kissed you when all you needed was a friend.”
“It’s okay,” I replied. “It’s not your fault. It’s me. I am sorry I do not feel the same way. I see you as a friend. I really did try, Logan. I really did want to give you a chance. You are a great guy--amazing. Everything a woman can hope for but...”
He shrugged, a slow sad smile appeared on his face.
“I understand completely, Briar. You do not need to explain yourself. The matter of the heart is always a complicated matter.”
Tears welled up in my eyes and my vision blurred. Why was everything so damn hard? I couldn’t breathe like this. I felt everything falling apart. I didn’t want to hurt Logan. He has nothing but nice to me. He truly deserves happiness.
He moved to wipe the tears away, “Stop.”
“I can’t.” I cried harder.
“Don’t cry, Briar. Please. I am sorry that I kissed you.” He pleaded, his eyes were pained from my tears.
“I’m sorry, Logan.” Tears slipping down my cheek. “Please forgive me.”
“Of course. I am sorry too. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
He pulled me into the comforts of his arms and I cried once again. After that, he didn’t make any more advances. He finished cooking me lunch and we ate together. After, he tucked me into bed and told me he will be back to check on me tomorrow after work.
I watched him close my bedroom door before I closed my eyes and willed sleep to take over.
She was hurt and I took advantage of her. Talk about ass of the year but god, that woman was beautiful. My daughter wasn’t kidding when she said that Briar was beautiful and kind. That week I spent with her in Hawaii, I enjoyed every second of it and I am not going to lie, I could see a future with her.
I wanted a future with her but now I know it will never work. The woman was practically in love with another man. I can see it in her eyes. I can never replace him.
I was a little jealous of the guy. He was one lucky son of a bitch but one dumb fucker to let her go. If only she felt even a little for me...
I closed the door behind me and turned to walk down the stairs when I saw another woman walking up. She looked me up and down slowly.
“Who are you?” She questioned warily.
“Logan Hawkings,” I replied. “A friend of Briar’s. You?”
She had pixie light pink hair. She’s actually pretty cute with a small little heart-shaped face. However, she looked a little on the wild side. Not the type of girl I would go for.
“Molly.” She offered curtly before curling her lips in slight distaste. She didn’t spare me another glance and I found that shockingly irritating.
Someone like her has the guts to look at me like that?
“She’s asleep.” I turned around to tell her as she made a move up the steps to Briar’s home.
I saw her jaw ticked and smirked in glee, I crossed my arms and levelled eyes with her again.
“So you comforted her?” She made it sound like an accusation as if I did something awful.
“Yeah, what’s it to you?” I shot back, fighting back my annoyance.
“That’s my job, buddy. Now, get before I sock you.” She muttered, jutting her thumb in the direction of my car.
I chuckled, “And if I don’t?”
What the hell am I doing? I should just leave. Why do I keep instigating a conversation with her?
“Didn’t you hear me? I’ll sock you, dickwad.” She growled before walking up the steps. She was carrying a small basket. She placed it by the door and took a pad out of her purse to write a note. She stuck it on before turning to face me. Her eyes glaring me down.
After a minute, she sniffled as if I was below her and walked down the steps. The nerve of this woman. I have never been treated this way before.
“Hey, Molly!” I called out to her as she walked past me. She stopped in her steps but didn’t turn around.
It gave me a chance to look at her small shapely form. She wasn’t as thick as Briar but she did have a nice body.
“You work with Briar, don’t you?” I questioned.
Her shoulder stiffened and I grinned before walking up to block her from walking away. I shoved my hands in my pocket and wiggled my eyebrows.
“What a coincidence, my daughter is in Briar’s class. I guess, now that we know each other, I’ll be seeing a lot more of you around.”
I winked at her before walking to my car. She pursed her lips and looked at me as I drove off. I chuckle as I looked at her disgruntle expression through my rearview mirror.
I sulked to work today. My head pounding from all the crying. Yesterday night, I woke up and noticed how ugly I looked. My eyes were swollen.
I heated some tea packets and stuff them in the fridge for a few minutes. I took them out seconds later and placed them over my eyes to help lessen the swelling.
However, now that I was awake, all I could think about was Chase. I blinked hard to stop the tears from falling. I needed to stop crying and sulking.
Logan’s daughter walked up to me carrying some freshly baked cookies. She handed them to me.
“My daddy told me to give it to you because more than like you will need sweets today.” She said with a smile.
I smiled, “Tell your daddy I said thank you.”
She nodded before hopping off.
The day dragged by slowly. I was able to stop crying for now but three days without Chase was painful. It was like walking in a desert without water. I’m dying painfully slow and it felt like time was ticking by slowly. My life was at a standstill and I couldn’t move.
Finally, the day came to an end. I said goodbye to my students with a plastered smile on my face. Once they were all gone, my smile slipped from my face. I picked up my phone from my desk and glanced at the screen.
I woke up last night and saw a text from Chase. He had wanted to talk but at that point, I didn’t want to see or talk to him. I was still so wounded and weak. I still wanted to lick my wounds before seeing him.
Sighing, I started cleaning up my room and straightening a few things. Once I was done putting away the supplies I took out today to work our class project, I moved on to cleaning the whiteboard.
“Last time, I saw you like this I remember feeling you up.”
My stomach clenched at that voice. My heart ached and at the same time sped into a gallop.
I turned around slowly to face the man who has been on my mind nonstop. I gasped at the sight of him. He cheekbones were bruised and there was a huge red cut on his lower lip.
He was also dressed down into a clean t-shirt and pair of jeans. His hands were tucked into his jean pockets and he gave me a grimaced smile.
I saw bandage wrapped around one hand.
“What happened?” Was the first thing that slipped my lips.
He took his injured hand out of his pocket to touch his bottom lip, “I got into a fight.”
“What?” I said in confusion. “How?”
He shrugged and took a few steps into the room, shoving his injured hand back into his pocket.
His eyes connected with mine and everything around me seemed to stop at once. I could only see him and god did I miss him. I wanted to throw myself at him and at the same time I wanted to weep, run away and hide. Go back to licking my wounds.
“Why are you here?” I asked at the same time.
He shifted on his feet and scratched at the back of his neck nervously, “I wanted to see how you are doing.”
Horrible. I miss you. I need you. I can’t do this. Please say you need me too.
“I’m okay,” I said softly, tearing my eyes away.
“Briar,” He breathed my name and I fought to look him in the eyes directly.
“Please look at me.” He begged, his voice croaked with so many emotions. “Please don’t look away.”
Tears threatened to spill and it stung. I heard him walking towards me. In seconds he stood in front of me and my will was crumbling. He smelled so good...so him. So Chase. So mine...
“I wanted to see you one last time.” He whispered hoarsely.
My eyes finally lifted to meet his eyes and I saw the raw emotions in his eyes. The pain and hurt. Why was he looking at me like that?
He took one shaking inhale and ran his hand through his hair before meeting my eyes again. My eyes travelled from his eyes to his bruises. Out of instinct, I moved to run my thumb lightly over it. My eyes flickering back to meet his eyes again.
“Do I even want to know what you were doing?” I asked him.
He chuckled sadly, “I don’t think you will be too proud of me.”
He leaned into the palm of my hand. His cheek rubbing against it. My heart cried out. My stomach twisted painfully from loving him so much.
“Briar...” He breathed my name as if it pained him--like it took everything in him not to pull me closer. Did he really hate me that much?
“I can’t do this,” I whispered like a broken record.
He lifted his eyes to meet mine again and I watched his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. The pain in his eyes spread all over his face. He tore his eyes away again and looked down at the ground.
“I can’t see you and not have feelings for you. If you are going to leave me then make it official, please. I can’t take any more of this.” I whispered emotions thick in my voice.
“I have feelings.” He croaked after a minute before lifting his eyes to meet mine. “I have feelings, Briar.”