Insatiable Desire

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Zora POV

Four months later

" shh please " tears run down my face as both of the twins continue to yell they're not sleepy or hungry I been trying to get them to settle down for about three hours now am failing them big time as a mom the first two months where crazy I
Dealt with bad postpartum depression I didn't wanna hold them or be around I couldn't breastfeed them without crying I spelt alot barley ate anything I stayed in the hospital for about ten days because they thought I was suicidal which I wasn't I was just really sad call me selfish but after having that moment with my dad I didn't want be without him my children would need him and he couldn't be there " Ryder please mommy's tired " I I murmur holding him trying to quiet him down he in a fit of rage I try giving him the pacifier but that doesn't work it seems to do nothing but irritate him more honestly I think they hate him they know I wasn't present the first couple of months so their really use to Raphael and my mom any my bestfriend Kylie " hey babe " I turn seeing Raphael I ball my eyes passing him the baby point proving he stops crying " am a bad mom they hate me " i wipe the tears go am a mess he rocks Ryder holding me on his other side " never I have them go shower lie down for a bit your just tired " I nod his kissing my lips " I love you zor " I say it back leaving to go the master bathroom I strip out my sweatpants and shirt running the hot water I huff immediately when the water hit my body my breast leaking out milk I dont even care though. " hey baby " I feel I light rub on my arm Raphael stands with london our daughter in his arms smiling " you fall asleep in the tube " i nod still leaning back i don't wanna move the water isnt even cold yet " sorry I just I dont know " I say honestly I dont have in excuses he nods " take your time zora your their mother they love you we love and when ever your ready to come back to us were here waiting " I bite my lip not wanting to cry it's been a world wind everything involving my mother Bianca her dad Walter court the media it's been alot " how was work " I ask finding my voice " great opening up a new building in Seattle soon we put out the new sketches for the building soon " I smile he's been doing really excellent with architecture building people's dreams homes amongst other things
" I'm happy for you and so proud your are amazing father " I say truly meaning every word for months he was a full time dad working for home while I dealt with my own thoughts he moved my mom in with us hiring a nurse to help her with her recovery " your sure you don't wanna break up " he says playfully smirking I shake my head no when I was dealing with post partum I broke up with for two months not even wanting to be around him either I stayed at my moms place by myself " nope I love you " I utter I grab the soap washing my body he doesn't shy away looking over my body as it's his " god your beautiful " I smile shyly " is Ryder sleep " he shakes his head
no " he's watching baby shark in our bed " I laugh I watch my daughter sleep soundly in the crock of his neck " shes spoiled " I muttered he nods " she is but she gets it from you so " he shrugs like it isn't a big deal " how's your mom and dad " I ask curiously after he's father told him about his mother's affair there was a big blow out he actually hit his father he didn't allow his parents to see the twins for over a month I let him know I didn't agree with them not being able to see them but I did support his decision I understood where he was coming from having shitty parents weren't what I had so I didn't was disregard him in any way
" there fine they went back to marriage counseling doing some travelling " I laugh he that sounds like them hopefully their able to stick with counseling this time I finshing washing my body grabbing my robe wrapping myself
" come let's join Ryder " I stand on my tippy toes kissing his lips he lays in the middle of our bed watching the flat screen as baby shark plays Raphael lays london down on her own pillow but close to him they don't like being separated I lotion my body then put baby on my robe join the three of them on the bed I lay on Raphael chest " you smell good " i murmur licking his neck he chuckles slapping my ass " not with my babies in room zor " .


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