Insatiable Desire

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II

Raphael POV
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" uncle Raphy you here " I smile kneeling down to my nieces level she so small and has such a big smile " you came you came to my birthday did you bring me candy like you promised " she jumps in my arms full force " my princess lordy I miss you how old are you today thirty " she laughs as I tickle her " no uncle Raphael am three you see this many " she says holding up three fingers " well I'll be damn I didn't think you show up " I can see the look of pity in my sister eyes she gives me when she bear hugs me
" yasmin i can't breathe " I confess ready to get out her death trap of a hug and all honestly I was gonna come either but wallowing in my own petty won't help me either " mom's gonna be so happy everyone's outside she been worried sick I literally had to steal her car keys from keeping her from coming to see you every five minutes " honestly am so thankful for my sister I couldn't deal with my mother's hovering I know she means well but my mental state wasn't well enough to deal with her fully therapy has done me a great deal I only recently could hold a conversation about my daughter without crying or having a panic attack which is good I don't think I will ever get to a point where I don't feel guilty that's gonna stick with me forever " jesus am fine now trust me " I utter truthfully am trying to be it isn't easy but I know I need to be I still have a baby on the way that will need me " have you and seen zora how is she ,oh god how big is she now did she love the stroller I gifted you guys ? " my sister rambles on with questions ones I really can't answer which hurts also " I haven't had the chance to give it to her yet but no doubt she love if yasmin " she smiles grabbing my arm pulling me to the kitchen currently my mom's seats drinking wine in deep thought " look who showed mom " she stands tears wet her eyes honestly each time I have seen her she had cried
" Raphael "she hugs me even harder then what yasmin did " I miss you so much dear you father and grandfather have been worried sick shit who am i kidding i have been to " she muttered yasmin excuse herself giving me and my mom privacy joining the party outside " I've been better atleast trying to be " I breathe out " bianca and I had lunch today therapy helps out " she smiles brushing her finger over my face in a loving manner " that's fantastic son how are you feeling " I shrug not fully wanting to go in detail I have been that for the last four months am over being asked that am ready to get my life back in order dwelling on the past does nothing but depress me " oh and zora Ammiano told me she recently found out you guys have twins on the way " I just to wide my stocking and surprised looking because I had no idea she even knew yet she hadn't said a word to me and I don't want my mom to worry " yeah it's crazy honestly I'm nervous but I wanna be there for them " I utter speaking the truth I have tried giving zora space because I know that's what she probably needs but I not so sure anymore .

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