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Chapter 19

I'd never been a submissive before so it was all new to me. I didn't know how a Dominant was supposed to act. I never understood the world of BDSM and it was my first time exploring it. The same way as it was my first time exploring my fight or flight senses but I caved in to his demands. My soul was his, my body was his, my thoughts were his. Everything belonged to him. I was breathless, struggling for air. Ryder was holding so much power over me and my life. Part of me loved it and another part of me didn't know what to think. I wanted to flee more than ever but I also needed to test myself. I was playing a game with the old and newer version of myself and I needed to win.

"Well, well. Don't you smell amazing today Shannon. I'm going to let you know a little secret. You're the best behaved submissive I've ever had in this house."

What other submissives has he had in here and how many? Who else touched their face on his bed like me? Was I getting jealous? I don't know, but I hoped that I wasn't. Isn't it a normal emotion to feel? Multiple questions were rotating around and around inside my head like a fucking virus. I couldn't cope. That was when Ryder touched my cheek and said my name. I blinked up at him.

"Trust me," he told me and I nodded my head. I wanted to listen to him so flipping much but I was fighting this inner demon of freight. I was stuck on the spot and Ryder grabbed my wrists forcing them up my back. Wrapping something around my wrists he wouldn't let them go and I closed my eyes breathing in deeply. He placed a roll of black tape down on the bed and I felt a sharp yet warm burning sensation on my right ass cheek. It wasn't too bad and I could deal with it.

"See. Not that bad is it?" I shook my head and he chuckled. "I won't go much harder than this but you remember your safe word. Say it if you need to."

"Yes Master." I spoke breathlessly as his hands caressed my ass.

"Knees." He spoke stepping back. Waiting for a minute, he walked around to the side of the bed and shook his head sighing. I looked over at him, my elbows were on the bed.

"Shannon can you just fucking do it! I won't stand here all pissing day waiting for you to do as you're told. I've told you to use your safe word. Use it!"

A couple more seconds passed by like a flash of lightening and I dropped down to my knees fighting with my conscious mind. You can do this Shannon. I cheered myself on and breathed in deeply. See not that bad is it? Ryder walked behind me and I was fighting the urge to turn around. My body was tense. I wanted to see what he was doing but I was also struggling at the same time to brush my thoughts to the side. My mind needed to be shut down. I couldn't win!

"Drop your shoulders, stop being so tense. Breathe in and relax Shannon. I don't know what's going on inside your head today but you're on edge." He spoke behind me. I was and I didn't know why either.

"Go and get dressed. I'm ending our weekend here. I want you to fill out the forms next to the door. My man will drive you home. Have a good day Shannon."

He walked out of the room. Left me breathing in deeply. I felt sad but at the same time, I knew why he did what he did. He didn't have the time or patience. He didn't want to make me do something that I didn't want to do. I had let him down and I felt bad because of that. You should have listened, I told myself. I should have! Stupid.

Apologies for the short chapter. I've been busy busy lately.

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