The blaring horn from the jet black sixty-four Merc was relentless. A yell came from inside the car, “C”mon, Tony, let’s go, we ain’t got all night.”
Tony was dragging his feet. He still hadn’t recovered from his breakup with Mary Jo and the last blind date turned out to be a joke. Yes, Jennifer really was a forty-four Double D. And no, the rest of her wasn’t as big. And yes, she was very attractive, but she had an appendage. It was called Dad. Nothing can compare to going on a blind date, with the girl’s father tagging along. That made him nervous to try again.
“Cindy’s friend is really dying to meet you.” said Mick, Tony’s best friend since pre-school.
“Just tell me she’s not some psychopathic serial killer with three eyes.” said Tony as he slid into the passenger’s seat.
“No, man. At least I don’t think so.” Mick said laughing as he cracked open a beer.
“You know drinking and driving is against the law, right?”
Mick took a big swig and handed the can to Tony.
“Now I’m not drinking, you are. Now I’m driving.” Mick slammed his foot to the floor and the rear tires of the big old Merc spun, kicking up a cloud full of gravel from the curbside.
“I’m not sure about this.” Tony said with dreadful look.
“I’ll tell you what,” Mick offered, “how about I give you the car keys, we go inside to pick up the girls, and if you get so scared that you want to run, you can escape, okay?”
“It better not be that bad.” And Tony gulped down the rest of his beer and headed to the door.
Cindy was waiting at the door and greeted Mick with a big old wet kiss. She turned to Tony, gave him a hug, took his hand and led him into the family room.
“Tony, I’d like you to meet Paula. Paula, this is Tony. Why don’t you two get to know each other, and I’ll go steal a few of my Dad’s beers from the fridge.”
Tony sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Paula. He was shocked at how stunning she looked. Her eyes were the bluest he’d ever seen. Her long blonde hair hung straight, almost touching her lap. Her blouse was half unbuttoned exposing her cleavage, leaving nothing to his imagination. Her athletic legs were topped off by a pair of the shortest shorts that he had ever seen. Then panic set in. Why was this beautiful creature on a blind date? Surely, someone with her looks could have any date she wanted. Either he was dreaming, or maybe she really was a psychopath.
“Nice to meet you, Tony.” Paula said.
“You, too.” Tony responded, and then blurted out, “I’m sorry, but you are so…beautiful, why are you here on a blind date with me?”
“That’s a good place to start. I was afraid of getting hooked up with someone so horrible that they couldn’t find a date if their life depended on it, and here you are. What’s your deal?”
“Pretty straightforward, aren’t you? I like that. So, you want to know what my ‘deal’ is? Cindy showed me your picture, I think you’re cute by the way, and told me about your breakup with your girlfriend. I know how hard it can be, to date again after that happens. I’m in an on-again, off-again relationship with someone. We happen to be off-again right now. I don’t want any part of the bar scene, and I’m horny. I want to have sex, and knowing your situation, I thought you might be up for a little fun. No commitments. We don’t have to get to know each other or see each other again. One night, wham-bam-thank-you ma’am, and it’s over. What’ya say?”
Tony was stunned. He had never heard a girl talk like her before, he’d only seen that kind of stuff in the movies. Could this be real?
“Well, I guess.” He said rather reluctantly.
“Look,” she said standing up, tugging her shorts down to cover her butt cheeks, “I don’t want to sound fat-headed, but if you say no to a free night of this,” as she exposed a bit more cleavage, “then maybe you’ve got bigger problems than just a breakup.”
“Hang on. I’m sorry. After the last blind date that Mick and Cindy set me up on, I get a little gun-shy. I was expecting the worst, not, what looks like the best. Yes, I would like to spend the evening with you.”
“Good answer. Get Mick’s car keys from him. I know a party we can crash. I promise you’ll have a good time.”
“Got them, already. It was my escape plan.”
Tony and Paula squeezed through the crowded kitchen, pulled a couple of beers from the cooler and headed to the living room. There wasn’t a single place to sit.
“Who do you know here?” Tony yelled in her ear over the blaring music.
“Nobody.” She answered, and weaved her way through the crowd.
“Then why are we here?”
“Because I don’t know anybody, and nobody knows us.”
Tony looked around the room, every couple was making out, not a single person was aware they were even there. The curtains on the picture window were moving. Tony peeked behind the couch and saw a naked hairy ass bouncing up and down between two knees.
“C’mon.” Paula took his hand and led him up the open staircase to the second floor, stepping over a half-naked couple who were getting into some intense foreplay on the stairs.
“What are we doing?”
“Looking for a room.” She said.
Paula opened the first door at the top of the stairs, there, with the dim light from the hallway, she saw four naked bodies intertwined on the bed, and two more on the floor. She closed the door and proceeded down the hall.
There was a light shining from below the next door. Paula knocked quietly and cracked it open. Inside there were two twin beds with a couple on each in various stages of undress. The next door in line was the bathroom.
“Hey, it’s my turn.” Tony said. “Why do you get all the fun?”
“It’s occupied.” A muffled voice said as Tony opened the door. He peeked around the corner, there were two people in the tub, not taking a bath.
There was only one door left, the master bedroom. Once again, Paula opened the door a crack and a voice from inside said, “Come on in, we were just leaving.”
The couple picked up their clothes and started towards the hallway, when Tony asked, “Don’t you want to get dressed first?”
“Why?” was the answer he got.
Paula took the messy bedspread off, tossed it in the corner, and turned to Tony and said, “Take your clothes off.”
“Just like that?” He said.
“I don’t need foreplay, I need sex. Are we going to do this or not?” By the time she was done asking, her shorts and blouse were in a pile on the floor.
Tony wasn’t as quick taking his clothes off as Paula was. He was mesmerized by the fact that she was a natural blonde.
“What, you’ve never seen a blonde bush before?”
“Looks to me like you approve, standing at attention like that.” And Paula pushed Tony onto his back on the bed and mounted him.
Exhausted and gasping for air, Paula rolled off and said, “Let me know when you are ready to go again. It’s been a while and I don’t want that to be it.”
Tony propped himself up on his elbow, “How about you kiss me this time, it shouldn’t take me long to be ready.”
“No kissing, just sex. I don’t want to make love to you, I just want to fuck.”
“What are you afraid of?” He asked, and he leaned in and planted his tongue in her mouth.
She resisted at first, but soon she returned his kiss and pulled him in close. As Tony moved on top of her, Paula wrapped her legs around his back and it wasn’t long before the bedsprings were squeaking again.
Paula wiped the sweat from Tony’s forehead and put a finger to his lips. “Don’t talk.” She said. Her legs were still around his back when the door burst open. A very drunk couple paid no attention to the fact that someone was already on the bed, and stumbled in while ripping each other’s clothes off. Their faces were clenched in a lip-lock.
Paula and Tony rolled to the headboard as the other two crashed onto the bed and began to fuck.
“They’re not even aware that we are right here.” Tony said, laughing.
“We should leave.” Paula added.
“No, let’s watch.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No, it’s like watching a porn movie, only live and in living color.”
Paula looked down and saw Tony getting aroused. “You’re getting off on this aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I guess. I’ve never watched anybody from up close like this.”
“You get any harder and I’m going to take advantage of you, again.” Paula said as she offered him a little assistance. “You watch, while I bounce.” And she climbed back on top.
The four of them seemed to finish at the same time when the girl looked up at Paula and slurred, “Hi, who the fuck are you?”
“Never mind.” She answered. “Tony, we should go now.”
“You guys weren’t gone long.” Cindy said.
“Long enough.” Paula threw the car keys at Mick, looked at Tony and said, “See ya.”
As Paula headed to the door, Cindy ran after her, “Everything alright?”
“Why are you leaving?”
“Look, I told you why I agreed to come here tonight.” She paused. “I didn’t expect him to be that nice. I gotta go.”