"I don't know why I bother" I sigh to myself turning my phone over and over flipping it this way and that way. I'm yet on another supposed to be date but what a shocker my date didn't turn up. I don't even know why I try and put effort into meeting guys when it's obvious that they want fun not a relationship.
My head shoots up at the sound of the bell over the door ringing announcing someone walking it the small cozy coffee shop. But the world just likes to mock me as I watch a couple holding hands walk up to the till to put their order through together. I watch their interaction around each other and grow sad at how happy they seem together making wishing I had that.
I've been waiting over an hour and don't know how long I should give my 'date' to actually turn up. I turn my phone over again and double tap the screen to wake it up to see if I had any notifications. But I didn't I decided to unlock my phone and open up snapchat to see if I had a message for Brad the guy I was supposed to meet. But there was nothing so I sent him a message
Me: Hi, did you forget what time we were supposed to meet?
Brad: Na I'm out with my friends.
Me: Oh. Have you changed your mind about me?
Brad: Look I just wanted a girl to hook up with not a clingy girl I never wanted a relationship.
Me: Then why did you plan to meet me?
I get no reply. I feel tears building up behind my eyes but I refuse to let them fall over a fuckboy I met off a dating app. Yes I know how sad is that? I'm on a dating app and I've still yet to meet a decent guy that wants an actual relationship and want to be friends with benefits. I've been there done that and I will certainly will not be going back. I've learnt my lesson after getting my heart broken.
I feel myself deflate and my mood to violently drop. On the outside you'd think 'ahh that girl is so happy she must walk through life so easily. I bet daddy give her everything she wants' But on the inside I feel hollow and emotionless and I work for everything I own and Wear. Yes I wear designer clothes but that's because I work my arse off. Infact I struggle to understand my feelings they always feel so jumbled up but not when I'm with my friends they make me happy. No one know how I feel no one in my family not even my best friend I mean how would I tell them. 'Oh yeah just so you know I've become depressed but it's okay I'll be alright' I'm not stupid I know ill never be alright. I don't even know if they'd believe me. I know what they will say 'but you've got such a happy family'
I admit my family could be classed as perfect to people but I see the imperfections that we all have that no one can see. I have a dad that will suddenly leave as soon as he gets a phone call i honestly think he is cheating on my mum and he is so strict. I mean he gives me curfews! Who does that in the twentieth century especially when I turned twenty-one two days ago. My mum gosh I love my mum but she gets frazzled and confused at the littlest things I believe she had a condition but she refuses to go to the doctors about it. My brother... well where should I begin, he has anger issues to be honest and blunt also he is the biggest player in our town and its a big town.
My train of thought gets broken jolting.me back to reality when my phone rings in my hand and I realise that I'm still staring at the couple at the counter. I look at my phone and see Rosies name on my phone.
"Hello" I say on a deep exhale.
"Lilith you won't believe it!" Before I can even ask what she screams down the phone "I got us into shades!"
"What?!" I practically shout startling the people sitting in the coffee shop earning a couple glares I duck.my head down and look at my table. "What do you mean you got us into shades? I didn't know that We were trying to go there" I quiten my voice to talk to my best friend.
Shades is the newest nightclub in our town and the bouncers refused to allow anyone to enter the club unless they were on the exclusive list thay are very strcit. As soon as it opened the club was booked up until next year it was something I didn't really care but other poeple did and they constantly whined about it alot.
"Yeah I got us in to celebrate your birthday! Your welcome" Rosie practically screams down the phone.
"But you know that's not my kind of thing I like to do Rosie" i whine at my best friend for even suggesting it.
"Oh pleeeeease we need to celebrate your birthday together and I promise you will have so much fun, I'll even promise to never leave your side" Rosie tries to convince me. I don't know if I really want to go but my attention goes back to the couple cuddling together on the sofa they were sitting on and my chest hurts wishing I had that. I decided screw it I'm going to this club and drinking to forget this sad feeling I have inside my chest.
"Fuck it I'm in" You say confidently.
"I promise i wo- wait what? Yessss!" Rosie screams down the phone making me pull it away from my ear. "I had a whole speech prepared I can't believe you actually agreed to come"
I laugh at the astonishment in her voice and let her carry on talking.
"Right I expect you to be at my house eight sharp and I don't want any moaning or complaining I'm choosing what your wearing and that's that"
I murmur my acceptance and let her go over all the plans of us getting ready together. Just listening to her ramble and nod my head even though she can't see me. We then say our goodbyes once everything is arranged. It dawns in me to what I actually agreed to and I become a little nervous as to what is to come.
"I don't know if I want to do this" I cringe as I feel to already short skirt to the dress inwas wearing rise up my legs making feel like I'm showing the world my arse when I know I'm not but my brain thinks I am.
"Oh stop whining Lilith your gonna love it once we go inside" I hear the high pitch voice of my best friend showing how excited she is while I keep grumbling my distress that something bad is gonna happen. I glance over to her and question myself how she can be so confident to walk down the street wearing a dress that showed too much skin for my liking. I mean my best friend is beautiful, stunning even and all the guys fall for her and I just wish I had just and ounce of confidence that she has. Rosie had blonde hear that usually curls up to the middle of her back but today she has straightened it causing it to fall down to her arse. Bearing in mind she is 6'2. I watch it swish as she walks down the sidewalk like she in a model walking down the runway. The dress she is wearing shows alot of skin and cleavage leaving little to the imagination.
While me on the other hand is the exact opposite. I'm short 5'3 to be exact. I have dull hair that naturally frizzy and a nightmare to tame. But tonight Rosie have managed to control it to create loose curls to frace my round face. My friends call me pretty but i dont see it but I'd never tell them otherwise I'd get an hour long lecture to love myself and blah blah blah. My supposed best friend managed to get me to wear a plunging red halter neck dress that likes to hike up my legs everytime I take a step. Norhing like I've ever worn in my life. It had diamonds that the area around my breasts making seem larger when they were already too big for my liking. I'm an F and it's so difficult to find a comfortable bra that actually fit which I wish I was wearing but nope this dress doesn't allow bras. On my feet I'm wearing stunning red suede three inch kitten heels.
Shoes are my weakness I absolutely love any type of shoe that has heels and makes me feel even remotely sexy.
I know how cliche it is going to a nightclub to celebrate my 21st birthday even though my birthday was two days ago. I regret my decision as soon as I agreed to her crazy stupid plan to sneak out of my house to go out clubbing. If my dad ever found out I snuck out to go clubbing I'm pretty sure I'd be buried in my back garden.
Rosie grabs my hand and drags me behind her up to the bouncer and says her name and mine. I expected him to turn us away saying our names weren't on the list. But to my absolute shock he unhooked the velvet rope separating the club entrance to the people on the streets. When I go to walk past the bouncer I actually look at him and visibly gulp and he huge looming aura. He was tall, I think he could actually be classed as a giant. He has he arms crossed over his chest and they were huge bugger than the size of my head I'm pretty sure he could crush it with one flex of his arm. What adds to his intimidation is that he is wearing glasses at ten o'clock at night. I squeak a thank you as I practically run past him into the loud nightclub.
I gasp as soon as I step foot into the nightclub and start the night that will change my life forever. But I was yet to know it...
Are you enjoying my ongoing story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Hannah HortonWrite a Review