"Why does it always rain at funerals?" He asked me, looking straight still.
"Just to make the day more depressing I think," I whispered. We stood in front of Scott's grave, most of the people had left, to head to Olive's for drinks.
"Well it's working." Oliver looked over at me. "Thank you for coming with me." His voice was quiet.
"Of course. Are you okay?" Oliver shrugged, looking back to the grave.
"I have no idea. I think I'm okay. It feels strange, I didn't really know him but he was still my dad." I kept my eyes on Oliver, rubbing my hand up and down his arm. "It's just disappointing I didn't have much time with him." I nodded, really fighting my own tears. Even though I partly knew this was going to happen, it was a lot quicker then we thought. He was in the hospice for two weeks and his condition dropped immediately. We manged to see him a few times and Oliver took the kids to him the day before he died.
"Oliver, Mia." We looked over at Emily. She looked much better than I think she felt.
"We're going to Olive's. You coming?" She asked us. Oliver looked down at me, I shrugged.
"It's up to you," I whispered. Oliver nodded, looking back at Emily.
"No, we're going to go home if you don't mind."
"Of course, but you will be coming to dinner at mine on Sunday?" Emily asked, rubbing her hands together.
"Yeah, we will be there." Oliver walked towards her, grabbing her for a cuddle. I watched them as Emily wrapped her arms around Oliver. That was it for me and my tears appeared, I wiped them with my sleeve, looking back at Scott's grave.
"Mia, see you Sunday." Emily blew me a kiss and I did the same, putting my arm back in Oliver's.
"Did you want to go home?" I asked him, my head on his arm.
"Not yet. Is that alright?"
"Of course. Rahul said we don't have to pick the kids up until the morning."
"Brilliant, I really wish I was a fly on the wall. They are probably driving Rahul wild." Oliver chuckled and my cheeks hurt from my grin. "Where do I go from here?" Oliver turned his whole body to me, his hands on my waist.
"I don't know what you mean?" I was confused by the question.
"My mum's gone, my dad's gone. At least before I knew I had a dad. I'm not sure what I'm saying." Oliver shrugged, he looked irritated but most likely with himself. "Do I even have a right to be sad?" He moved his head back, groaning.
"Of course you fucking do. You were trying, you both where. Regardless even if you weren't, the person who helped create you has died." I put my hands on his shoulders.
"If your mum died would you be upset?" Oliver asked me bluntly. Jesus this conversation was getting heavy. I thought for a second before giving my honest answer.
"Of course I would, she's my mum." I looked into his eyes, knowing what was coming.
"I think you should talk to her."
"I know you do. I'm not ready though, especially with her still with Roger." Oliver nodded, pushing me closer.
"You're right. It's a bit different. Shall we go to dinner?" Oliver looked down at me and I shook my head.
"Can we order in? I need to check something at home." Oliver nodded, putting my hand in his as we walked to the car. We were going back to the house, I had applied for a few jobs in Surrey and had a job interview on Monday which I was terrified for. I was also terrified for it as I was pretty certain I was pregnant. I didn't want to get myself too excited as I had felt like this before with a negative result. I had the classics I had with both Daniel and Abby. I was tired constantly and pushed down nausea daily. Oliver was driving now, his eyes on the road.
"What do you need to check?" He asked me.
"I want to do a test," I replied bluntly.
"You want or you need?" Oliver flicked his eyes to me.