'The Happy Hooker Driver'

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'Jennie'

“Oh gross...the smell, his smell is still all over me!“, Jennie says as she sniffs her fingertips, and pulls down the top of her tank top exposing her breasts in disgust that he hides there too. Then, she tries to take care of an itch in the inside of her left nostril, with her pinky finger on her right hand, the only one without a chipped nail. “For the life of me I can’t get his greasy fat ass smell off of me!” She gags at the back of her throat as she motions to me to pull over, because she has to throw up! She lunges forward from out of her seat, but nothing comes up except for her disgusting memories. She reaches for a loose cigarette of hers that had wedged itself at the back of her seat. “I’d offer you one, but its my last one.” “Yeah, its ok Jennie, the other day I gave my last one to my neighbor.”

“The Agency keeps booking me dates with him, because none of the other girls are willing to see him. “So, why don’t you just tell Jessica not to send you to him any longer?” Jennie takes one final puff of her cigarette before playfully flicking it onto the street, and in a child like voice says: “Nah, I’m a big girl, I can handle him, I just put two condoms on him, when I must suck his cock! But, just the thought of it causes her to once again gag! As for now, we are in a waiting period with the agency for our next call, it is still early in the day, so we decide to just drive around the city. Jennie picks up at the convenience store two packs of ‘Pall Mall’ Cigarettes, four bottles of 5-hour Energy Berry Shots, and a Twix Candy Bar. I grab a bag of mini-size York Peppermint Patties which is one of my favorite candies, and a Cranberry Juice to wash it down. Plus, my smoking habit has spiked up again, so I couldn’t resist a black pack of The Natural American Spirit Cigarettes, Perique rich robust taste.

Jennie is a petite, cute blonde in her early thirties with big boobs, a plump butt, and a honey almond roasted tan. She knows very well of her sex appeal, and that men easily gravitate towards her. In no time at all she downs not one, but two of her 5-hour Energy Berry Shots. “Do those really work?, I ask. I drink more coffee than anything.” She says: “Yes, I drink them everyday, I work a lot of hours, and they keep me from falling asleep while I’m jerking someone off!” I thought that she was joking, but her face shows me just how serious she really is.

The Agency is calling me...“Hello Darling!, Roger says on the other end of the phone. How’s your day been going so far driving for Jennie, she’s the cream of the crop, and she’s been working with us on and off for about ten years. I just got a call from Edward for The Girlfriend Experience.” When he said that I was thrown for a loop, because I thought that what these guys wanted was to just get fucked! But maybe I am wrong in my thinking, I guess that some of them would like to hear about how wonderful they are, have a home cooked meal, watch a movie together, get a really good fuck, then be tucked into bed with their pillow fluffed, and a goodnight kiss; Wow, what gentleman. “Mercury, how would you like to be my girlfriend?” “Nah, that’s alright I am not a good cook, I am staying single, it is safer” I joked! Roger told me to drive safe, and that he will talk to me later.

“Does he flirt with all of the girls?“, I ask Jennie. “Pretty much, I don’t know all of his girls, because as quick as they come they leave, I’m one of the few who has been with him the longest.” “Hey, I need to get out of these clothes, and get a quick shower, I live like ten minutes from here.” Jennie lives in an apartment above a Cricket store, and while she is doing her thing, I get out to stretch my legs, and to have a smoke. When she comes outside she looks refreshed; I can see that she takes pride in her appearance while wearing a form fitting burnt orange mini-skirt, and a tight white blouse showing off a lot of cleavage, and a Tinkerbelle Tattoo is just below her right collarbone.

The GPS is telling me that we are ten minutes and 27 seconds from our destination, when Jennie tells me that she forgot to bring some condoms with her. As I am pulling up to the gas station, she pulls out a wrinkled $20.00 bill from out of her handbag, and asks me to go inside for her to buy a box of condoms. I am not ready to do this, I have never bought condoms before, and I am unsure of what to say. While I am up at the counter I hesitate to tell the cashier what it is exactly that I want, my nerves are on ice as there are two customers in line right behind me. As I look around I can see a big selection of condoms to choose from: Lifestyles Skyn Selection Condoms, Champ Ribbed Condoms, Okamoto 004 Aloe Thin Condoms, Trojan Extended Climax Control Condoms, Lifestyles Skyn Large Condoms, and a plethora more. Jennie never specified to me which one she wanted me to buy, so I will have to choose the safest bet, and get the hell out of here before I have a panic attack! “Give me a box of your Lifestyle Skyn Selection Condoms”, I said.

The neighborhood is middle-class; It is a modern Stucco home made of cement, sand, water, and Lime. At least it is a nicer home, than the one that I was at with Crissy. Though, I need to find something better to do with my time while I am waiting for the girls, than to stare out my window into oblivion. After a couple of hours goes by, Jennie messages me that Edward wants her to stay longer, and I tell her that I am fine with that...its more money in the both of our pockets! And so the wait continues on; I need to get a better cell phone with a stronger Wi-Fi Connection, and maybe Jennie can hook me up since her landlord owns the Cricket store below her apartment. Three and a half hours later Jennie’s date has come to an end, and she hands me over my cut of the pie, $105, and the agency’s cut. I say: “This is more money than I would be making at a 9 to 5 Job.” “You’re telling me, I’ve never had a regular job, not for me, no ma’am.”

“So, tell me about ‘The Girlfriend Experience’, did he treat you extra special?” “Frankly, it was pretty boring, those energy shots earlier came in handy, or I wouldn’t have lasted all of that time with the guy. Actually, he was pretty full of himself, talked a lot of bull shit; He’s just desperate for a pretty woman to listen to his crap, because she wouldn’t do it for free otherwise. He had me microwave two Salisbury Steak TV Dinners, then get this we drank Sparkling Grape Juice. His name shouldn’t be Edward, it should be cheapskate John.” “Yeah, I said, that is pretty pathetic to not have real steak or wine, although I must admit I do like drinking Sparkling Juice.” “Me too”, Jennie says. We both laugh!

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