'The Happy Hooker Driver'

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'Room No. 207'

It’s not that I think that Jennie has an arrogance to her, it’s just that she is utterly confident in her appearance, and in playing the role of The Seductress. I believe that I am a pretty girl too, but I’ve never been too comfortable in my own skin. Jennie had asked me to pick her up earlier before her date, because she wants to buy me dinner at this very nice Mexican restaurant downtown at The Penn’s Landing and The Delaware River Waterfront. Its name is ‘El Comida Junto Al Rio.’ “Good Evening, would you like a seat by the window for dinner tonight?” “Of Course.“, Jennie says. “This view is luxurious enough with the river and the shops to make someone forget about the bad parts of Philly.“, I said.

Jennie orders a Chicken Enchilada with Rice and Beans, Yucca Fries (truffle oil, cotija cheese, and cilantro), Plantanos Fritos (Banannas), and a large side of Guacamole. I’m thinking to myself, that these girls can really eat! The Banannas sound really good to me, and so I order them for me as well with a side of Sour Cream, plus to satisfy my sweet tooth...A Pina Colada, Jennie has a Mountain Dew to drink. “My boyfriend and I come here to eat when I have some extra money to burn.” “Oh, how’d you guys meet?” “Jacob, would see me in the neighborhood where I live, because his cousin lives here too. Ooh your drink looks so damn good, I wanna try it!“, she says as she reaches over the table to take a sip while her boobs graze the sour cream a top of my plate of Banannas. We chat so much, losing track of time, when I get a text message from Jessica that the date is waiting...

The Hotel is big; ‘The Holiday Inn Express’ at The Penn’s Landing. I went inside with her, so that I could charge my cell phone. It has a beautiful, spacious lobby with a warm decor, and the brick fireplace is very inviting, although if they know what we are here for I doubt that we would be very welcome. I find a spot to sit down just shy of the lobby to try and relax. After awhile I almost fall asleep, so I decide to snag a free cup of coffee up front from The Hot Thermal. I was putting my fourth packet of coffee creamer in, when Jennie unexpectedly comes up to me, grabs me by the arm, and tells me to just walk with her, but to not say a single word.

Once we got up to room no. 207, Jennie starts talking. “As soon as I got up to the room, the guy was high as a bird, Jennie’s voice begins to crack as she recounts what has transpired. He didn’t follow the fucking rules, he didn’t pay me first. He just kept handing me shots of Whiskey; I took the first two, but I didn’t want to get drunk I wanted my money first, so after that unbeknownst to him, I poured the rest in the back of the seat cushion that I was sitting on. The guy was shooting up Heroin. Then, he changed into woman’s clothing, but that’s beside the point, cuz it’s not like I’ve not seen that before.”

“But now, I can say that I’ve seen everything. He put on a red wig, and proceeded to seduce me, all the while drinking more shots. But, I could no longer hold in my laughter at the sheer sight of him for which he got testy with me, and he pushed me down on top of the bed, and then he got on top of me. But by this time he was so wasted, that he thought that he had pulled his dick out, but in all actuality it was the nylons hanging down from in between his crotch which he thrusted against me. It is then that I kicked him as hard as I could in his crotch, and he immediately flung off of me, and into the air with his head hitting the headboard knocking him out!”

“Where is he now?“, I asked. “He still should be knocked out in the bedroom. But, I just want to get my money, and run! This is where you come in, I need you to help me find where his money stash is.” “Well, where have you looked?” “Everywhere.”

“Have you looked on him?“, I said. Jennie shrugged her shoulders. When I walked into the bedroom I saw this guy dressed up in woman’s clothing lying on the bed. It feels really weird to touch him, but I pat all around his clothing checking for some money, but to no avail. I become frustrated, and Jennie gets playful; She starts kicking around the guys red wig that is lying on the floor, in fact I kick it around too. Then, I notice as the wig is turned inside out a wad of cash encapsulated in netting with bobby pins.

I couldn’t believe it; "We hit the jackpot!", I yell! Jennie counts the $50 and $20 bills, and it amounts to $600. “He didn’t follow the rules, and neither shall I”, Jennies says as she splits the money between the two of us. She decides to keep the red wig, because we both agree that it looks much better on her! When we get out to my Toyota, I call the front Hotel lobby to tell them that a guest may have hurt himself in room no. 207, and to check up on him. After I drop Jennie off at home, I gather up my thoughts as to what a crazy night this has been, but it was fun, and I’m hoping for more of the same the next time around.

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