Maybe it's not about the happy ending. Maybe it's about the story.
That's what I learnt by loving Joe. I stand here looking in the mirror as I have my wedding dress fitted. I look back on the years that we had together.
I always thought it would be Joe and me until the very end, and I still hope that after everything that I have planned, maybe they will still be a little hope there for Joe and me.
The shop door opens, but I don't look. This is meant to be one of my happiest moments. I should be smiling and laughing whilst having my fitting, but why do I feel like everything is falling apart? I know the reason why that is. It's because I'm not marrying the man I love, but I did this. I'm the one that put us on hold.
We both ran when things got hard instead of fighting for each other if we stayed and fought for each other, then we wouldn't be in this mess right now. We would be in each other's arms where we both belong.
"Heather." My breathe stops, and I close my eyes. I know that voice. It's the voice that's in my dreams every time that I sleep next to another man. It's the voice that I hear over and over again, telling me I'm making a mistake. It's the voice that I hear when I think of my future.
"Don't do this. Don't marry him. I promise you I won't walk away from you. I will stay and fight like I should have when you was nineteen. I promise you no more running. I want us to fight for what's meant to be because, Heather, I'm nothing without you."
I try to keep my tears at bay, but I know it's too late. I can't do this. I can't have him here. I need to see this plan through because when I do, I know I'll finally feel at peace, but maybe just maybe, if I close my eyes, all this will be a dream, and when I wake up, I'll be in Joe's arms, and none of the years of heartbreak would have happened.
It's now or never...