Click, click, flash, flash. "Here, here, look over here!" That's all I can see and hear, but I also feel my father's vice like grip on my upper arm, that's going to leave another mark I thought to myself.
I don't want to be here, to put on the same fake smile that never reaches my eyes. Why the fuck do I need to be here? Why do they even want me here? I don't fucking understand, they don't want to know me unless it's for this fucked up facade they created. I would bet my last dollar that once we are back in hell, sorry I mean home, shit will hit the fan, it always does, not only that I'm always at the brunt of their arguments, the 'mistake'. See according to my birth-givers I should have been a boy. According to them a 'weak little girl' can't carry on the family empire, it takes a man to do that. But who the fuck says I want it? I don't, not if it's going to turn me into them, I want nothing more but to be free from them and this shit show!
"Fucking smile, if you know what's good for you." My mother growled out never breaking her smile, lapping up all the attention she received. That we received. Keep the fucker I don't want nor need it.
It may sound stupid to you or others, but I'd gladly give it all away just to buy some of my parents love and affection, but they're too toxic, too controlling, too hell bent on being being top of the food chain looking down on everyone else to give me a second fucking thought.
Me being here is showing the country their sick twisted way of an united front, they don't want me here as much as I don't want to be here probably more. I want to be at home with Stella, our cook and my second mother.
She's been around since I was born, I didn't spend much time with my parents growing up, mainly because I was born a girl, but Stella, well, she took me under her wing, nursed me when I was ill, cleaned my cuts and bruises, most of them caused by my parents, but most of all she showed me what a mother's love should feel like.
She would sit in my room with me while I ate seeing how I wasn't allowed to dine with them at the family table. She would help me with my homework and let me cry on her shoulder, always telling me she loved me, how amazing and beautiful I was, all the things they should have said and done but didn't.
A sharp sting on my waist brought me back to the present , I looked over to my mother but she was already glowering at me. I can't believe she nipped me, well I can but not in public.
I looked forward towards the cameras and put on my best fake smile.
Stepping inside the grand ballroom of the Plaza Hotel where one of this years charity events was being held I was mesmerised by the beauty of it, the room looked stunning, it was perfectly decorated. Sprays of beautiful flowers stragically placed on every table, the warm glow of lights reminding me of a summers evening. It was beautiful.
A hard grip of my elbow harshly turning me around I was met with my father's hard glare "Olivia-Grace, you remember Mr & Mrs Robertson don't you?" I smiled and nodded holding out my hand to greet them "of course, how are you both?" I cheerfully asked. "We are great dear." Mrs Robertson replied. "You may know our daughter, she attends the same school, Louisa?" Mr Robertson asked. Oh I know her alright. She's the biggest slut and airhead there is, she's rotten to the core, pretty on the outside there's no denying that, but so very ugly on the inside, is what I wanted to say, but instead "Ah yes of course Louisa Robertson, she's extremely beautiful." I told them to feed their ego a little, it worked judging from the look of proudness in their faces.
The more people we greeted the more bored I become, I hate these things, I mean yeah it's great they raise a lot of money for the selected charities but the reasons behind the substantial donations is personal gain and recognition for being generous. Most of them couldn't give two fucks about the charity, they just want the publicity and media attention.
The kicker tonight though is my parents are leading this event as they sometimes did, but that's not it, no, not by a long shot, the kicker, the hit that went straight to my heart and stomach 'For the Children'. I mean seriously?
They couldn't give a fuck about their own child, they mentally and sometimes physically abuse me, yet here they are raising awareness and money for other kids. Don't get me wrong it's an amazing and worthy charity to raise funds for, but for them to do it when they can't even be parents to me is a sick fucking joke!
We made our way around the room greeting various people until it was announced that we find our seats as dinner was about to be served. We of course were seated at the head table, mainly due to leading the function, but we would have been here anyways with my families hierarchy shit.
I looked around and noticed there wasn't very many people my age here, there rarely was, but I was always forced to attend, I don't have a clue why but I was. I'm glad in a way, most of them are fake socialites, only want to know me for my name. Most of the 'friends' I have are fake. I have three real, true friends. But they are from the lower class part of the town, my parents would flip if they knew I hung around with second class citizens. Even thought Gabbie's parents owned their own company, they were wealthy, enough to live comfortably but would still be degraded and frowned upon if I were to introduce her to my life.
They knew who I was of course, but they didn't care, they knew I was different, knew I didn't care what you had in your bank account or what your social status was, all I cared about is how you treat others. See Louisa is a bully, she looks down on everyone even me, she's one of the IT girls, her and her little elite group, her followers, puppets so to speak. She walks the halls of the school like she owns them, ripping the piss out of who ever she wants to.
She has all of the guys attention, they all look at her with their tongues hanging out and panting. Don't get me wrong she is extremely beautiful, typical beach babe, long peroxide blond hair, deep blue eyes, figure to die for. But looks are only skin deep, under all of that she's rotten.
The only person in the school she doesn't pick on is Jessica my other real friend, she isn't a one to be messed with, Louisa knows that now. She tried and Jessica schooled her in the cafeteria, Louisa tried to trip Jess as she walked past but Jess seen before she managed, she grabbed her out of her seat by her hair, picked up her food and smashed it in her face. Louisa's little posse didn't know what to do, the entire cafeteria was silent until one student couldn't hold in their snigger and the whole room pissed themselves.
Jessica was excluded for the rest of the week, but the day she was allowed back she walked right upto Louisa and warned her if she ever tried to fuck with her again she would beat her ass in front of everyone. Louisa hasn't tried anything since then, she just gives her dirty looks but Jess just laughs at her.
Dale our other friend is amazing, his personality could melt the coldest of hearts, he's so warm and caring, he's more or less my go to person when I'm having a hard time with my parents, which is often. He just allows me to rant and scream, getting everything off my chest, then consoles me.
I don't know where or who'd I'd be without those three and Stella, each of them has picked me up and dusted me off more times than I can count. Remind me of my worth. I'm not a push over by any means, only when it comes to my parents, I don't know why I can't stand up for myself against them, I just give in. I allow them to degrade, insult, mock, mentally abuse me and then of course the spats of physical abuse, a slap across the face here and there, a punch or kick to the ribs every now and then. I just hope one day they can find it in their hearts to love me, that's all I want and need. Even thought they treat me like shit on their shoe I strive for their approval, I work hard in school to be the best I can be, I'm top of all my classes, I got accepted into Columbia and they didn't even bat an eyelid. I just don't know what else I can do.
I sighed feeling deflated as the waiters placed our food in front of us, I thanked the young girl as she placed mine down and heard my mother tsk at me, I'll probably pay for that later.