All Mine: True Love

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Chapter 8: Heart and Soul

**Dana’s Pov**

Not long after we had pulled over that we arrived at the location that we had organized to meet up at. He hasn’t spoken to me since he got back into the truck, this hurts so much. I am angry at myself for getting that drunk, but also somehow remembering it? Like how does that happen? Imogen not telling me what happened to me, no wonder we aren’t friends anymore she wasn’t really my friend, to begin with. We pull up to a group of cabins, the one in front of us is one of the smaller ones.

It's a blue and white smallish cabin with a porch around the front facing the water, so close to the water, did he even think of our boy’s? Let’s hope they don’t run off on us. We both sat looking at the cabin, I turn my head looking at him, trying to keep my tears at bay. “Be angry at me all you like mister, but don’t you dare give me the silent treatment!” I screamed at him, he doesn’t even look at me, just keeps looking out of the front window. “Arghh! I know my past isn’t ideal, but don’t you dare act as if you’ve never had a horrible drunken moment as a teenager! I blanked out a lot of shite from my teen years for a reason, don’t you dare hold that against me as my memories come back!” I yelled at him so loudly, nothing his not even flinch at the volume I am using, “Still not going to say anything?!” I asked this is the first time I have ever wanted to really punch him, “Fine!” I yelled out.

Storming out of my side of the car taking my bag with me, opened the back door to get Sebastian out of his seat. He is awake which helps, once he was out I took him to the other side while I got Alexander out. I grab their bag looking at Dean who’s still sitting in the car. I stormed past him, why is he doing this?

I made my way to the front door, putting Alexander down he grips my leg as I open the door letting both boys run into the cabin, I look back at the truck his still looking right ahead. I slam the door behind me locking it, knowing he probably has keys and even if he doesn’t he’ll be able to unlock it anyway.

It was small but cute, with a small kitchen off the living area, two bedrooms, and a bathroom.

I turn the tv on for just background sounds as the boys play on the floor, I grab a pillow and start crying. Bad enough these memories are coming back to me, but having him act like that feels like he’s judging me. I don’t want judgment I want his love, I want the Dean I know back. I pull myself out of my self-pity moment and start opening up the windows. When I reached the front room ones I hear the truck door open.

“AARON FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!” Dean roared out. “Dean what the hell!?” Aaron asked, “I SAID FUCK OFF!” Dean yelled, “What has happened? You’re not going into that cabin if Dana and the boys are in there.” Aaron snapped, I see Dean spin around so fast at Aaron, storming towards him. “DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” Dean yelled, “For their safety yeah I can!” Aaron yelled back at him.

I don’t want them fighting I quickly check on the boy’s they are still playing on the lounge room floor. I race outside to them both standing in the middle looking right at Dean with just as much anger as he has on his face. “DANA MOVE!” He yelled at me, he has never yelled that loudly at me before, “NO! NOT UNTIL YOU TALK TO ME!” I yelled back at him, “WHAT IS THERE TO SAY? YOU ALLOWED HIM TO SLEEP WITH YOU WHILE DRUNK!” He roared at me, I looked at him in sheer shock then anger started rushing through my veins, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!? ANYONE WHO’S THAT DRUNK HAS NO FUCKING SAY!” I screamed, “YOU HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO TELL ME THIS!” He screamed, “Pfft! I WAS FIFTEEN DEAN! I HAVE HAD HEAPS OF SHITE HAPPEN TO ME, I DON’T CHOOSE WHEN SHITE STARTS COMING BACK TO ME!” I yelled, I cannot believe him right now.

“ARE YOU REALLY TELLING ME YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY FEELING THAT YOU KNEW HIM!?” He asked me, “ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW! YOUR ACTING LIKE I BLOODY CHEATED ON YOU!” I snapped, “I FEEL LIKE YOU BLOODY HAVE!” He said, I do want to punch him right now, “YOU’RE AN IDIOT YOU KNOW THAT!” I screamed he moves towards me, Aaron steps around and in front of me glaring back at Dean. “Cool your jets right now Dean,” Aaron said firmly, for the first time since I have known Dean his really scaring me. I take a step back from the look on his face, tears have started to fall down my face.

“I wouldn’t have told you about that memory if this is what you truly think of me,” I said sounding hurt, that stopped him in his tracks, he looks at me, I look right back at him tears falling freely now. Aaron has put his hand on my arm trying to stop me from moving around him, I still took a step around him. Walking right up to Dean, stuff this he needs to know he’s being a big fucking dickhead, I know he’s been in his head too long, but he has overstepped the line. “You lay a dam finger on me in anger myself and the children are fucking gone! I AM NOT TAKING THAT FORM OF BULLSHITE FROM YOU! SORT YOURSELF OUT! GETTING THIS WORKED UP OVER WHAT? MY DRUNKEN TEENAGE PAST?! WHAT YOUR DOING IS BREAKING MY HEART, DEAN! TALK TO ME WHEN YOU’RE OVER WHATEVER THIS IS! BUT ONE THING DO NOT STEP INTO THAT CABIN IF YOU’RE STILL THIS ANGRY! NOT HAVING YOU ANYWHERE NEAR OUR BOY’S. THEY DO NOT NEED TO SEE THIS!” I screamed, the whole time he just stood there looking at me, I take one last look at him before heading into the cabin he had tears falling down his face. I was now crying loudly, what the hell is all of this?

I walk into the cabin found the two boys still playing on the floor. I sit down with them, hugging my legs as much as I can with this little bump as I cry, they both climbed up onto me hugging me trying to make me stop crying.

Did we just break up?

God, I fucking hope not.

I can hear all the men outside talking and yelling at each other. There is a soft knock on the door, but I just couldn’t get up to open it.

Why is he so dam angry over this?

Am I missing something?

Is it just the fact he works for Dean.

I can hear the door being unlocked and opened. I didn’t even look up cause I know who it is right away. I keep my head in my hands, I feel the boys being moved away from me, Aaron whispering to the boys to come to him. I feel Dean’s hands on my knees, I look up at him. I see just as much hurt on his face, his still crying too.

“Why?” I asked with a crackly voice, it’s all I could get out through my tears. “I fucked up.” He said sounding just as upset, “Going to need more than that Dean.” I said with anger in my voice, he picks me up sitting me onto his lap, I want to move away from him but my body just cuddled into him, my body is a traitor to my mind.

“I don’t know how to put it into words.” He whispered, “Then work on it right now.” I may have been in his arms but I still snapped at him. “I’m so fucking sorry Dana... I....” He stopped, “You what?” I asked, “I just kept on imagining you with him enjoying yourself.” He whispered, I sat back looking at him in a mixture of anger and sickness, “Are you fucking serious?!” I yelled at him, “Dana” He said, “No don’t! How can teenage drunken sex be good? I don’t even remember that part well.” I snapped at him, he gave me a sad look. “Let me finish, please,” He said, I glared at him, “I feel like doing more than saying angry words at you.” I grumbled, “Please.” Dean said, “Ok.” I grumbled, “Then I remember a few months after he had started he was telling myself and the guys at work about this hot redhead who took his virginity... and... I don’t” I cut him off, “Don’t you dare say you don’t know, that’s a cop-out.” I snapped at him.

“Throwing my own words at me?” He said with a smirk on his face, “Yes.” I said still glaring at him, “I let the anger take over, going into that dark place hidden in me and tuned out.” He whispered, “Why are you so angry over it? You didn’t seem that angry in the car when I had told you.” I asked, “I let everything I’ve been feeling out onto you, that’s not fair, my anger isn’t aimed at you Dana. Truly am so fucking sorry, seeing you crying while yelling at me snapped me back to reality.” He held onto me tighter as he cried into my neck, rocking me. “I’m so so so sorry for scaring you. I know I had let all of my anger take over, no words I say will ever make up for what I just did to you, but I do hope you can forgive me.” He whispered, “Tell me one thing right now, did you mean everything you had yelled at me?” I asked, “God No... I....” He cut himself off, “I what?” I asked, “Aaron had filled me in on what I had said. Dana, I want you to know I do not think any of that.”

“That’s a lie, you must do. A small part of you must have, why would you say any of it?” I said sounding hurt, “What do you want Dana?” He asked sounding defeated, “I want the man I had fallen in love with, the one I had married, the one to whom I have three children. Not that man out there whoever that was, that’s not him.” I said, “I’m right here Dana.” He said, “Are you really?” I asked not believing him at all, “Aye I am here lass forever.” He whispered, “Then who was that?” I asked, “Someone I had hoped you would never meet.” He whispered, I only heard him because I was on his lap. “Dean.” I said wanting more information than that, “My old CIA self.” He said softly, “Dean, I don’t care what you think, but when this is all over your seeing my Doctor too.” I snapped at him, he looked at me in shock then could tell he wanted to roll his eyes at me, “You know I cannot, he is not class” I cut him off. “You know what you will be if you want this to work, us to last you’re seeing someone!” I snapped at him, his bottom lip started twitching when I said you wanted this to work, “I will go see someone with the clearance Dana.” He said firmly. “You better be.” I said firmly, “I will do anything to never lose you. How can I make it up to you?” He asked me.

I gave him an evil smirk, “You can make it up to me by killing him.” I said, “Your scary but fucking hot.” He said sharing the same smirk as myself, “That is a start. Do I need to worry about that side of you coming out towards our children?” I asked, “I would rather die than hurt you four.” He said, “You already have Dean.” I said, he holds onto me tighter, crying louder, I hate hearing him cry. He doesn’t do it often, he doesn’t know that he’s woken me up a few times crying about whatever has happened to him, wishes he wasn’t such a male, and go seek help, knowing what has happened to me wouldn’t be helping. “I am so sorry Neasa really am.” He whispered, I froze and looked back at him. “I mean it, Neasa McCarthy, I am so dam sorry for everything that has just happened.” He said loudly, “Dean.” I hate hearing him call me that name, so much pain is with that name. But him using it this way makes me feel he is truly sorry for what he’s done.

I know I have forgiven him, but I won’t ever forget what he’s done. “Dana please tell me what I need to do, to get you back?” He asked, “One don’t you ever do that again.” I said, holding one finger up in between us both, “Got it.” He said, “Two you keep a dream diary like I do and let me read it, don’t care if it's classified you’re telling me.” I said, holding up two fingers, “Please Dana that’s” He started, I cut him off, “No different to the hell that keeps happening to us. Three you need to let me know when you feel your emotions are too much for you, no being silent like that. Four ever lay a hand on me or the children in anger I am out. I lived in a family like that I am not having my children live like that too. I also know you wouldn’t dream of doing it, but what happens during your next episode?” I asked, we have kept eye contact, “I hope that never happens.” He said so fast.

“Me too.” I whispered, “I may need some time to forgive you fully, but right now I will never forget.” I finally finished, “Oh God Dana, I agree to it all.” He said loudly, Dean softly starts kissing my neck working his way up to my lips, I moan out. “Please Dana allow me to make love to you.” I sat up fully on his lap pulling his shirt off, I see fresh bruises on his chest. “What happened?” I asked shocked, “Nothing” He started and that hurt, “Please do” I started to snap at him, he cuts me off. “Had a few minutes with Aaron lass, I’m fine really.” He said brushing me off, “Don’t lie to me Dean you’re not fine, can see it in your eyes.” I said pissed off, “Lass please I just want to kiss ya.” He said, “Then kiss me,” I said with a playful smirk on my face, his hands lift my top of taking my bra off at the same time, they have got ten times bigger and hurt more lately so was wearing a sports one. He lightly touches them as he knows they have been hurting. My hands reach for his pants undoing them as he’s doing the same with mine. We both have removed all clothing, he looks into my eyes like he’s asking permission. “Dean,” I whispered, he closes his eyes for a second, “Dana, I need an answer.” He said firmly, “Aye.” He lifts me up, his eyes full of desire lowering me down onto him, we both let out a low moan.

“Fuck Dana.” He doesn’t let me do anything he takes full control gripping my hips rocking me slowly. I wrap my arms around his shoulders kissing him slowly, picking up my pace when he moved me faster. “Mmm, I need to go harder, babe.” Dean pants out, “Don’t let me stop you.” I said playfully, he leans over picking up our clothes putting them in between us then lifts me up and stands up taking us to our room, kicking the door closed behind us. “Lass are these windows open too?” He asked, “Aye.” Walking to the window still in me, myself holding tightly onto him, I start moaning as the movements send me off. “Oh God Dean.... mmmm” I moan around biting his shoulder, “Really?” He asked, I nod my head moaning out, the windows have now been closed, I had thrown our clothes on the ground, I grip the top of his shoulder’s he looked at me. “Are you sure?” He asked, “Go for it hubby.” He gives me this big smile then kisses my nose, changing his grip on my hips he lifts me up to the point his tip is the only thing left inside before slamming me back down.

I screamed out, “Arghh fuck Dean!” I want to keep my voice down but the way he is slamming into me fuck, “Dana!” He moans, “OH GOD DEAN YES! DEAN!” I screamed louder, he moves me up and down a few more times before he explodes, we cum together, “Arghhhh fuck yes Dana!” I wrap onto him tightly, one of his hands still gripping my ass the other roaming over my body, I look at him, with an eyebrow up. “Dean your rock hard again.” I asked shocked, “Aye, need to go again.” He said around a smirk, I smiled at him, he lays me down on the bed, we went at it for a few hours, I know he’s not ok, but I’ll do anything to help him.

**Aaron’s Pov**

“Boys care to fill me in right now! What all four of you are going to be quiet now? After you went off at your wife?!” Dad roared at us as runs over towards us, as he’s gotten closer he stops yelling. “Shit Dean!” Dad yells after he noticed the look on Dean’s face, “Aaron what happened?” He asked looking at me, fuck hate this. “I notice the speed he came in here even though the kids are out here. By the time I got to the car, Dana was yelling at him as he just sat there.” I said, “Dean.” Tony said softly, “She’s left me.” He said sounding shattered, “No mate she hasn’t she’s just as upset as you are.” I told him, snapping his head up at me, ah man his so unpredictable when he’s like this. Holding my hands out in front of myself. “Dean she’s not,” I said firmly but he cuts me off, “DIDN’T YOU HEAR WHAT SHE SAID!” He roared at me, “Yeah, we all did. And that’s not what she said.” I said pointing it at him,

“Don’t you” He started talking but stopped, I didn’t even get the chance to say anything as he started throwing punches at me, I managed to block most of them. Laying a few into him, before he finally stopped falling to the ground crying. I get down to his level looking at my lost brother. “I can’t breathe without her.” He cries out, “Then go into that cabin and apologize to her before that feisty redhead of yours gets lost in her head and does something you two cannot come back from.” He nods his head, man wishes he would have done what I had asked him to do last time, maybe now he will. I help him up and we both walk to the cabin, I pick the lock cause he is too upset to know what he’s done with those keys. I open the door and I was right she’s sitting down on the floor crying with the boy’s trying to help her out. Crap she doesn’t even notice or shows that she notice us, I remove the boys from her side trying to get them to follow their favorite Uncle, while Dean squats down in front of her, bloody hoping he finds the words to fix this cause a world with him like that is not a fun one.

“Come on boys come with your favorite uncle, I’ll take you to poopy.” That worked, they both jumped up into my arms, I look over at my big brother and he just nods his head, I can see tears are running down his face. I walk out closing the door behind me, Erin and Sarah raced towards me taking a child each, I just smiled at them both. They smiled back taking the boys with them to the other children. Dad looks pissed off he takes us further away from the cabins but from the women and children. “This episode, is it bought on by what you told him?” My dad asked me, ahh fucking hell dad I haven’t told Jamie or Tony yet. Jamie looked at me upset, “What did you tell him?” He asked, I let out a sigh, “I’ve been called back in.” I said quietly, Tony looked pissed off, “Fuck off they cannot do that you have officially retired they cannot bring you in!” Tony snapped the Lawer in him is coming out right now, ahh fuck I hate this. I let out another sigh looking right at Tony hoping he works it out without me having to say it.

“You are not retired are you?!” He snapped at me working it out, he looked pissed off he normally isn’t the one that gets this angry but he is angry. “They.... fuck....” I said, “Use your words.” Jamie snapped at me, “Shut up bitch!” I snapped back at Jamie, “Aaron spit it out.” Dad snapped at me, “No I’m still enlisted, they’ve put me on call only for specific jobs only.” I whispered, Tony shakes his head glaring at me, “Well now I cannot fucking help you. Is this what Dean knows?” Tony asked, “No he doesn’t know that part. What is going on with him has nothing to do with me, Dana had told him something unsure what it is, but I gather it’s not nice at all.” I said, “Well boys, you better tell your wife before she finds out from someone else, that is including Dean he won’t take long to work it out either. I do not like seeing my boys fighting with their wives, I also know fights are normal in marriage but not like what I just witness. Now all of you need to go and talk to your doctor’s or you could end up like me with no wife.” Dad said.

“A bit late for that for some.” Jamie mumbles under his breath but we all heard him, “That better be aimed at you and not Dean.” Tony snapped at him, “It’s me, think it’s over between us.” He said sounding upset, “What you just figured out that kid wasn’t yours?” I asked shocked, “We all know you would be having a hard time having kids.” Tony said also not sounding shocked, “What none of yous thought to tell me?!” He snapped, “Thought you had known and just took over from the byo dad. I’ll leave you with this idiot while I make sure our big brother the idiot isn’t killing his wife.” I said, Tony looked at me like he wanted to hit me too, “I would leave them be.” Tony said I leave them as I head back to the cabin, I didn’t need to go close to know they are fine can hear them having sex. Good boy keep that wife of yours you, idiot. I promise you Dean I will not be taking a no for an answer this time I will be dragging you kicking and screaming to my Doctor. Now to tell my wife I have to go out again, fuck shouldn’t have lied to her.

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