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It had been 6 long months since I had left LA and the man I loved. After that last argument I waited for him, I waited for him to come and find me at the hotel I stayed at before leaving LA for good. He never came and I was heartbroken. He was done with me and my mom had been right about him. I was nothing but a little entertainment for him. After I returned to London my life went completely upside down. I was usually good at remembering my birth control shots but during the time I spent in LA I had completely forgotten about it and when I was back and stood with a positive pregnancy test in my hands, I was uncertain about my future.

I was alone and scared so before I even knew it, I had asked Brandon for advice. He had been my best friend besides being my boyfriend so I needed his friendly advice. We talked through our issues and he explained me everything about that one-night stand and how she had lied to him about the child being his. We both went through shitty things but found support in each other. He moved back into the apartment and we started living together as roommates. He was helpful and understanding. He wasn’t judging me for what I had done with James which made me feel bad for all the things I had said to him. In the end I had decided to keep this child despite all the odds.

Having Brandon’s support and knowing that this was probably the only thing I could keep from James, I kept the baby. She was already my life and I couldn’t wait to meet her. Even though James had said those hurtful things I still loved him for how he made me feel during our short affair. I even considered turning my back to everything, just to be with him. However, he had other plans for us... knowing that I wouldn’t see him again was painful but I had to stay strong for my little girl. She would be worth everything. Brandon had even offered to put his name on her birth certificate which meant everything to me. He was trying his best to be there for me. We went to screenings together and he was helping me build all the furniture we had brought for my little girl. He was just like a father to her before she was even born.

I still had 6 weeks before I could meet her but feeling her presence inside of me was everything. I would talk to her day and night while keeping my hand on my baby bump. Sometimes Brandon would feel her kicks and it warmed my heart that she would at least have a man around that would love her as much as I would. We were both lucky to have Brandon.

Amy... have you seen my phone?” Brandon asked pulling me out of my trail of thoughts about the past months. We were heading to The furniture store since we finally had time to pick up some stuff we had in mind for my little girls’ nursery.

Have you checked your room? It is probably on your desk.” I said knowing him too well. If I walked into his room and lifted the stack of paper on his desk we would probably find his phone but I was letting him do the hardwork today. I was too pregnant to do him a favor I thought and put on my shoes and jacket. Winter was harsh this year and I was wearing layers to protect me and my little angel from the cold.

Amy...” Brandon said and I turned around to meet his eyes but instantly I felt a scarf around my neck and he layered it nicely to cover my neck.

It’s cold outside. You should be careful.” He said and placed a polite kiss on my forehead before heading out. Brandon was sweet but I had already told him that we couldn’t go back to what we were before last summer. I made it clear that I wanted him only as a friend and he accepted the terms but sometimes I couldn’t stop myself from thinking if I was giving him false hopes of a future that we wouldn’t have. I loved him as a good friend but as a man… I was still struggling to forget about James.

Having James’ child was making it even more difficult for me to forget about him. I was constantly thinking of how he would have been as a father. I was curious to meet our little girl also to figure out if she would have her dad’s beautiful blue eyes. I was sometimes curious about how it would have been to raise her with James. I was sad that my little girl wouldn’t know her biological father.

Lost in thoughts I just realized that we had already made it to the parking lot of the furniture store. Helping me out of the car Brandon took my hand in his and guided me inside the big store. I was mentally preparing myself to a long shopping trip. We were determined to finished her nursery as soon as possible so we could stop stressing over it.

What do you think... pink or purple?” Brandon asked holding some towels we needed for the nursery. Looking at him Isighed jokingly.

What is wrong with white? I mean we are not going to raise a barbie doll.” I said realizing I had used the ‘we’ word.

It always makes me happy when you talk about raising her together.” Brandon said with a happy smile.

I...” I said without being able form a proper sentence. I didn’t want to give him hopes about a future we would never have but right now it was nice to have him around. I felt safe and protected with him. Grabbing my hand, he dragged me over to another section and we looked at some other items. He wasn’t letting go of my hand and I was too tired to even protest anymore. When he was being affectionate in public it made me kind of happy but I would always remind myself that this was temporary and I would in the end be alone with my little girl.

Brandon was busy picking up more things than we originally had on our list while I was just tagging along. All of a sudden, I felt this weird feeling of someone watching me but when I looked up I couldn’t see anyone in particular. My eyes screened the store until they landed on the back of a man. He looked familiar but I knew I was fooling myself. Why would he even be here let alone in this store? I was just fooling myself so I decided to focus on Brandon but I couldn’t stop thinking about the stranger who looked exactly like James from behind.

The ride home was mostly silent and when we arrived back home Brandon had taken everything up to the apartment. I sat down on the sofa relaxing after a long day but my mind was still trailing towards that stranger. I was missing James… despite everything he had said and done I still loved him so much but what would I have done if it really was him? My brain was working overtime today.

I am heading out to do groceries. Do you need anything?” Brandon asked and I just smiled at him saying no. He was being a really goodfriend helping me and feeding me. I don’t even know how I would have done this without him. The door closed and I heard the doorbell 5 minutes later. He might have forgotten something I thought and stood up to open the door for him.

What did you forget Brandon?” I said while opening the door to see no one but James in front of me. James Ashwood was standing at my doorstep.

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