CHAPTER 23 – WEDDING BELLS
Brandon had offered to register for marriage and I had told him that I would think about it. When I woke up this morning he had prepared breakfast and acted all sweet. I was confused. If I agreed to get married with Brandon I would give up on any hope I had for James however Brandon was the safe choice. He had been there when I needed him the most in contrast to James who had been missing.
If I accepted Brandon’s offer I would feel guilty about using him to keep my little girl safe but I needed this sense of security in my life, now that James was around to mess it up again. My heart and mind were at war. I couldn’t decide so easily and Brandon was not pushing me to do anything. He was just offering me a way to look at things a little different.
After Brandon had left to go to work, I was alone inside this tiny apartment. James was here last night I thought, looking around. He was so close that if I had reached him, I could have touched him. Yet he was so far away to even be within my reach. I felt so split between everything that was happening in my life. Seeing James last night had reminded me of how much I had missed him. I didn’t even know what to do if he decided to come again. Lost in thoughts the doorbell went off and I looked at the door in horror. I was afraid to say anything let alone open the door.
“Amy…” His voice came as a whisper. My name sounded like a desperate prayer in his lips.
“I know you are in there...” James said calmly. I was doubting my next move and my mind was telling me to staysilent while my heart was running towards him. I couldn’t stop my feelings. The love I had for him was above everything I had felt for him and yet again I failed at listening to my logic. I was in front of the door within seconds.
“We need to talk...” He said and I turned the lock around and opened the door. Brandon was right. My little girl deserved to know her father as much as James deserved to know that he had a daughter.
“Come in...” I said almost like a whisper. He stepped inside with a faint smile and went directly into the living room. It was like he already knew his way around this tiny apartment.
“Do you want anything to drink? Tea or coffee?” I asked trying to fight the awkward feeling between us.
“I am fine, thank you. I just came to see you and the baby.” He said and I watched his gaze trail down to the baby bump. He looked happy. I sat down at the other side of the couch and he scooted a little closer.
“Can I?” He asked and I nodded silently. He placed his hands gently on my stomach and started speaking to the baby like nothing had happened.
“Hi little one... I can’t wait to meet you.” He said rubbing his hand against the bump and she started kicking. It was like she knew. The moment was so beautiful that when James eyes met mine I could only see love in those blue eyes. Composing himself he removed his hand and looked at me with a serious expression.
“Why didn’t you tell me any sooner Amy?” He asked looking for answers.
“I thought you didn’t want me. I found out that I was pregnant after I returned to London. I thought you would have told me to get an abortion so I decided to keep it a secret. I wanted to keep her and I was afraid that you would have forced me to get rid of her since you didn’t want me.” I said feeling my heart ache. He had told me that he still loved me yesterday but how could I know his true intentions. I was naive enough to fall for him once so I was afraid to let go of my fears.
“Why do you always act on assumptions? Why don’t you just talk with me?” He said and I immediately snapped at him.
“You think you are any better? Your assumptions put us here as much as mine did. You thought I was whoring around like my mother. What do you expect me to think? The man I loved though that I was a slut. If I had told you I was pregnant you would have probably asked me to go look for the real father.” I said crying angry tears. I was pissed that he was putting all the blame on me. We were both at fault here and we both had to pay the price.
“I am getting married to Brandon.” I blurted out in a moment of weakness. It was a dirty attempt to hurt him and it looked like I had succeeded to shock him.
“What?” He asked in disbelief.
“You heard me. He proposed.” I said and looked away. His hands cupped my face and he forced me to look into his eyes.
“Look Amy... I know that I have failed to be there for you but you can’t get married to Brandon.” He said and looked into my eyes with his beautiful blue ones. The tenderness in his eyes were hypnotizing me all over again.
“Why? Why do you even care?” I asked feeling like I was breaking all over again. It was painful to be this close to him but not be able feel his love.
“Because I still love you and I want you to give me another chance. I am sorry for everything that I have done or said but I can’t live without you Amy...” He said still looking into my eyes. My heart was beating so fast that I was afraid of passing out right here, right now.Pulling me closer I felt his breath on my lips when I stopped him.
“How can I trust you again James? How can I know that you won’t bail out next time someone will try to ruin us?” I said breathing heavily against his lips. I wanted to taste those lips so desperatelybut I still wanted to hear his full commitment to this, to us.
“Amy Baker... I will from now on until my last breath only listen to you and only you. I will trust my life into your hands and I will let you guide me to happiness. I promise to take care of you and our little princess for now and forever. I love you Amy... I need you in my life. I want you to be my wife and I want to make many more beautiful babies with you. Marry me, Amy... please be mine.” He said and I couldn’t stop the tears. My heart was overflowing with love and I couldn’t stop it anymore. I crashed my lips on his and savored every piece of him. I had missed him. His arms around me, his kisses, his delicious scent, everything. I had missed everything. Breaking the kiss slowly I felt another kick and laughed with teary eyes.
“I think our daughter is happy to see you as well.” I said and he rested his forehead against mine.
“I am going to make you the happiest woman on earth, I promise. We can buy a house here and raise our kids here.” He said and I looked a little confused.
“How about your company?” I asked and he smiled faintly.
“I sold my shares and the house. I moved here 4 months ago to look for you. The only thing I kept back in the States is the beach house. I couldn’t get rid of it, it reminded me of you and I wanted to keep every single memory we had in that house.” He said placing a soft kiss on my lips. He was perfect, the perfect man that I had doubted for so long. I should have trusted him to begin with, I should have believed in his love.
“I have missed you...” I said and smiled. His eyes were on my lips immediately. He dipped in and devoured my lips again slowly making me feel his love. I was above the skies and I couldn’t have asked for anything else in life. I had the man I loved by my side and I was pregnant with his child.