CHAPTER 17 - HER TRUTH
Waking up in Liam’s bed, I hated myself for caving into him once again. I had to do something about this. I couldn’t continue living my life like this. Leaving the cabin with the first rays of sunlight I sneaked into the cabin where Eliza and I was staying. Heading for the bathroom, I wanted wash his scent away from my skin. My heart was beating for that monster but he always made sure to break it as he pleased. I was confused by the way he treated me. Sometimes his kisses were soft and caring while sometime it was violent and demanding. He was in my head and I hated it. I hated being his prisoner. After my long shower, I walked back into the bedroom of the cabin to find clothes to wear. Eliza was already awake and her eyes were at me with a smirk on her lips.
“Did Mr. Connor keep you busy throughout the night?” she asked with smile and I couldn’t hide the embarrassment I felt at that very moment. Panic spread across her eyes when she saw that I had started to cry. “I am so sorry, Blue… I didn’t mean to say something hurtful,” she said and came to give me a hug.
“No… it’s just… complicated,” I said unable to form a meaningful sentence.
“Did he force himself on you?” she asked and I shook my head. Liam wasn’t that type of a man.
“No… I just can’t tell you. It’s messed up and I don’t know how to handle this anymore.” I said and continued to cry while Eliza comforted me in her arms.
“Do you want to leave? I can make that happen if that’s what you want.” She said and I gave a small smile.
“No… I just need to calm down and gather my thoughts,” I said taking a deep breath.
“I will let Christian know that we are not joining the group activities today,” Eliza said and grabbed her phone from the bedside table to text Christian. I got dressed while Eliza left me for a moment and came back with two bottles of wine.
“What are you doing?” I asked while I tried to contain my laughter.
“It’s wine o’clock…” she said and put the bottles down on the small table by window.
“We haven’t even eaten breakfast yet,” I said in protest and she waved me away with her hand.
“Haven’t you had wine in the morning when you were a college student?” she asked and I couldn’t stop it anymore. I started laughing.
“I am still a college student…” I said and she scoffed playfully.
“Details…” she said and opened one of the bottles. “… besides it’s 5 o’clock somewhere,” she said and poured some wine into both glasses. “I couldn’t find any good snacks so you have to munch on some corn chips,” she said and I smiled knowing she was doing all this for me. I hadn’t realized it until recently but Eliza had somehow become someone I had turned to whenever I needed advice or support. She was like the sister I never had. Taking one of the seats by the table I opened the nearby window slightly to let in some fresh air in.
“I am not really good at relationship advice,” Eliza said handing one of the wine glasses to me before she took her seat across mine. “… but I can tell you all the mistakes I did,” she said taking a generous sip. “I ran away… I disappeared. All I wanted was to get away and think but it wasn’t the right choice in the end,” Eliza continued while her eyes were focused on mine. “I am not the right person to ask for advice but if you want my opinion, I would recommend you to sort it out with him. Running away will not solve your problems believe me, I know what I am talking about,” she said with a smile. She was only three years older than me but she sounded so much wiser with her words.
“There have been times I have considered running but I don’t have the luxury of leaving. I have nowhere to leave. I am just all by myself in this world,” I confessed opening up about me insecurities.
“What happened to your family?” she asked and I breathed out heavily.
“I am orphan…” I said meeting her eyes. Her eyes were full of sympathy and she smiled like she knew how I felt.
“I know how it feels to be alone in this world,” she said and brushed her hand over mine, giving it a light squeeze. “I grew up in an orphanage like you. I was waiting for my forever home which never happened,” she said while tears were covering her beautiful brown eyes. I remembered every single birthday, graduation and holiday I had to celebrate all alone. Eliza understood me since she was the same as me. She knew the sense of utter loneliness and how big the fear was to end up in the same darkness.
“When I first met Archie, I was a runaway who had trust issues. He turned my world upside down and he made everything possible for me,” she said with a smile on her lips. She loved him and I was sure he loved her as much. “He even asked his friend Brandon to help me land a job in Liam’s firm since I had declined to work in his legal team,” Eliza said and I smiled. She was lucky to have a man who was willing to let her fly on her own wings.
“I didn’t even have a clue about who Liam Connor was until I started working for him,” I said, drinking the rest of the wine in my glass.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t googled you own boss,” Eliza said and I shrugged. It had never crossed my mind to research Liam not even when I had applied for the law firm he was the owner of.
“I didn’t know he was the owner of the firm when I applied.” I said and let out a heavy sigh. “I was applying to law firms across the whole city wanting to land an internship position before my graduation. I was simply tired of working 2 part-time jobs and getting nowhere,” I said feeling more relaxed around Eliza. I couldn’t determine if it was the alcohol or the cozy atmosphere but I felt like letting it all out. I wanted to share my secret with her. “I was so desperate to earn some money that I started escorting with my roommate…” I said a little shy. Her eyes widened but she wasn’t shocked, she was more curious than shocked.
“Escorting?” She asked wanting to know more.
“It only happened twice,” I said taking a deep breath. “… and that’s how I met Liam for the first time,” I said and her jaw literally dropped open.
“Liam Connor? Hired you as an escort?” She asked in shock. It was ironic to watch her reactions. She was more shocked to hear that Liam was paying for sex than me providing it for money.
“Yes,” I said and filled my glass with more wine. Sipping a generous amount of wine, I met her eyes again. I was waiting for the judgement to surface and ruin our friendship but she looked oddly okay with this whole situation.
“How did you end up working in his firm again?” she asked a little confused.
“I had applied to the law firm before I even met Liam for the first time. Since my professor at the university had connections, he recommended me personally to Liam,” I said and sighed. Her eyes were on mine and gathered my courage to speak. “When I had signed the contract, he told me that he would do anything to make me regret my choice,” I said and the tears were welling up in my eyes. “I have no clue about why he is treating me the way he is but I can’t take it anymore,” I said feeling my heart ache.
“I thought I could fight it all just so I could keep my dream alive but I can’t take it anymore. I have lost my voice, I have lost my confidence and I have lost my heart,” I said and cried. Approaching me immediately, Eliza hugged me tightly letting her warmth coat my breaking heart. The thing I had feared the most was losing my heart to someone like Liam and it had happened before I even knew about it.
When Christian had told me that Blue wasn’t feeling well enough to join the group activities and I couldn’t help but get worried. She had left the bed before I had woken up this morning so I was naturally trying to find an excuse to approach her. When I was nearby the cabin she was staying at, I couldn’t help but recognize her voice immediately. Eavesdropping their conversation in curiosity, I couldn’t help the lump in my throat.
She told Eliza everything about herself while I was just outside of the window, listening to her shaking voice. I had fucked it up. Never had I thought that she was an orphan once and now that she had confessed to Eliza, I couldn’t stop remembering the desperation I had met in her eyes the very first time we had met. I had taken advantage of that desperation and I was still taking advantage of it. I felt sick. I felt sick of myself for being the person I was.
Glued to the ground, I couldn’t move. I was listening to her soft sobs while Eliza was comforting her with words. I couldn’t believe that I had become the monster who had turned all her fears into reality. I had pushed her into the darkness she had fought so hard to get out of, I had pushed her towards the loneliness she had feared her whole life. I was a messed-up piece of shit and I had no clue of how to fix this now.
“Liam, what are you doing here?” I heard Christian’s voice and I launched towards him in panic. I didn’t want her or Eliza to know that I had heard their conversation. Pulling Christian away I took a deep breath.
“I just went to Blue’s cabin to check if she was okay,” I said casually.
“What are you doing Liam?” Christian asked suspicious.
“Nothing, I am just checking if my employee is okay,” I said getting a little annoyed.
“An employee you have spent the night with?” Christian asked with a sly smirk.
“Since when do you ask me questions,” I said wanting to distance myself from his interrogation.
“Look… It not my business to tell you this but I think you care about her. Throughout the last 3 months something has shifted inside of you and I can see it,” Christian said with a serious expression. “… just because your parents failed to love one another, you don’t have to give up on love,” he said trying to encourage me to follow my feelings for her.
“Love is not something a man like me desires to have in his life,” I said shutting him down but he wasn’t done talking yet.
“If you continue to treat her the way you have treated her so far you will end up breaking her entirely,” he said and my heart started to ache. I had already broken her to an extend that was unrepairable and now that I knew her past and feelings I was at loss.