CHAPTER 19 - DARKNESS
Since my phone was dead sitting on the coffee table and I was a ball anxiety I had asked Eliza to lend me her phone so I could call my voice mail to see if anyone had tried to get in touch with me. When the call went through I heard the announcement of the voice mail.
“//You have 5 voice mails. First voice mail was received on 10:34 pm,” it said and I listened.
“//Blue I can’t get in touch with you and I am worried. Please call me when you receive this voice message,”Ethan said and I felt goosebumps all over my body. The machine proceeded to the second message which was recorded 5 minutes after the first one.
“//Blue? How did this happen? How was the video leaked? Please call me I am worried about you,” Lisa said and I felt the lump in my throat grow bigger by the time I reached the last message.
“//Blue… I can’t get a hold of you and I have just heard from the disciplinary committee of the school that your scholarship has been cancelled. Call me! We have to talk!” Ethan’s voice was shaking in shock. I could feel the worry in his voice through the message but I was more bothered with the fact that Liam had not even had the decency to call me even once while all this shit went down. After all, I had been the dirty little secret that had slipped out and he didn’t want to be associated with me, I thought and decided to call Ethan.
“//Professor…” I said when he answered the phone and I heard a sigh of relief.
“//Blue, where the hell are you? Why didn’t you call me any sooner?” he asked a little angry. He was tense and I could sense it through his voice.
“//My phone has been hacked and I haven’t been able to access my email and answer any calls,” I said feeling bad. I had created a huge mess and I didn’t even have a clue about how to fix this.
“//The disciplinary committee have notified me that your scholarship has been cancelled and you will get expelled immediately,” he said and my heart sank. I had worked so hard for that degree and one little mistake had erased all my hard work in a minute.
“//One little mistake erased it all…” I said and tears started to trickle down my cheeks.
“//You can always apply for re-admission,” Ethan said but how could I when I was a huge nothing. I had prostituted myself for money and look where it had gotten me. I was a big nothing and nobody could change that anymore. Nobody would even give me a job from now on knowing what I had done in that penthouse suite. It was all over on the internet and I had been stamped as a whore publicly. My life from now on would be a living hell. Liam had for sure kept his promise, I thought.
“//I don’t think I have the money or the reputation to even consider applying for readmission,” I said and Ethan was silent.
“//Blue…” he said and his voice sounded reluctant. “//… do you have any recording of the night we…” he said and went silent. How low did he think of me? I felt disgusted with the suggestion and I couldn’t even bring myself to answer that question.
“//It could destroy my career Blue…” he said and I felt no sympathy for a man who had thoughts like these. My life had just crashed and burned in front of my eyes and he had the fucking guts to ask me if I had recorded us having sex.
“//Fucking coward…” I said without any regrets. He had fucked me without any second thoughts but now that his reputation was on the line, he was suddenly getting cold feet. What a fucking coward, I thought hanging up. I wasn’t going to waste my time on a man who had questioned my authenticity. Looking at the lock screen of the phone in my hands, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling jealous of Eliza. She had a man who supported her in everything while I was all by myself. All the men who had taken a great pleasure in fucking me that night and after couldn’t care less.
“Did you call your roommate?” Eliza asked and I shook my head.
“I have just talked to my professor… my scholarship has been cancelled and I got expelled from the university,” I said and her face filled with worry.
“What are you planning to do?” she asked and I sighed.
“I don’t know… for the first time in my life I feel defeated,” I said feeling the heavy weight of my reality. I felt a sharp pain shot through my pelvic area so suddenly. It felt like my insides were being ripped apart but it was gone a moment later.
“Are you okay?” Eliza asked and I shook my head. I wasn’t okay and my body was reacting to the stress I was under.
“I think my period is a little early,” I said knowing that it was way too early. My visit to the bathroom confirmed my fears and I was certain that my body was acting all weird because of the stress. Taking the painkiller Eliza offered, I decided to call Lisa and let her know that I was going to stay at Eliza’s place.
“//Liz, I am sorry I haven’t called earlier,” I said and a sigh of relief sounded at the other side of the connection.
“//I was so worried about you! What happed? How did they get hold of that video?” she asked and I was as confused as she was.
“//My cloud account was hacked,” I said and she was silent.
“//Why you? And who?” she asked trying to understand.
“//I don’t know Liz, it happened all so suddenly and I don’t even know who it could be.” I said genuinely. I wasn’t suspecting Lisa, she could have kept the video as a secret from me and then leak it herself. There was no reason for her to hack my account to get access to that video, she could have just done it without going through the hassle.
“//I have called you to tell that I will be staying with a friend,” I said and Lisa sounded a little worried.
“//A friend?” she asked a little skeptical.
“//Yes, Eliza is a friend I met at the firm and I trust her,” I said and she breathed out in relief.
“//Okay… take care Blue and let me know if I can help you in any way. I have dragged you into this and I will gladly help you get your hands clean if that’s what you want,” she said and I smiled knowing that Lisa was one of the few people on my side.
“//Thank you…” I said and hung up. I was feeling slightly unwell and my body was still acting weird. The bleeding was heavier than I was used to so I couldn’t help but getting worried. I had never been under so much stress before in my life so I didn’t know if this was caused by stress or something else.
“You look pale… are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?” Eliza asked worried. She had been around me the whole day offering her help to solve this mess.
“I am okay, the painkillers will work their magic anytime soon,” I said and attempted a smile.
“Tell me if you change your mind, okay?” she asked and I nodded. It was weird to have a person around who genuinely cared.
“I will…” I said shortly and sighed. I haven’t heard from Liam yet and he was the only one I was worried about. I cared about his reaction to all this mess, I cared to know what he felt.
“We should call Liam and let him know that you are here. I think you should talk this out,” Eliza said like she was reading my mind but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face him yet.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. We aren’t exactly good at talking. We just end up hurting each other more with words,” I said fearing the worst.
“You can’t hide from him Blue. You have to talk this through and figure out a way out of this whole mess. He might be the only person who can help you out of this mess right now,” she said placing a hand over mine. “I will be here if you need me. You have nothing to be afraid of,” she said and I sighed looking into her eyes. I nodded slowly knowing that I had nothing to lose right now or in the worst case I had everything to lose and I would find that out when I was face to face with the man that had started it all.
Grabbing the phone Eliza texted him while I was trying to gather my thoughts. I had no clue about what to say to him. I was simply out of words by now. The past hours had been the lowest in my life and I was afraid that it wasn’t going to improve after my talk with Liam. He had continuously reminded me of my place in his life and I wasn’t expecting him to come to my rescue when he had to put his efforts into saving his own reputation. I was a big nothing and he could care less. If he decided to face me today that would be to remind me of the lowlife I was.
A sharp pain shot through my pelvic area once more and I tried to take a deep breath to let it pass. The pain was getting stronger and I wasn’t feeling any better after the pain killer. I wasn’t sure what this was anymore and I was thinking that maybe Eliza was right, I should see a doctor. Taking deep breaths, the pain faded slowly but the nausea resurfaced and I was struggling to keep my body calm while waiting for Liam.
“Are you sure about not going to the hospital?” Eliza asked concerned and I nodded.
“Yes, I would like to see Liam first,” I said determined to face him. She nodded in silence with a worried expression. I had never seen such a warm worry in another person’s eyes before. It was new and heartwarming.
Minutes later the elevator pinged open and I was anxious to face him. Eliza had notified the doorman downstairs about Liam’s arrival so he was let in to the direct elevator of the penthouse. When I stood up from the couch and faced him, I felt my heart tighten painfully. Today was probably the last day I would see this man. He would leave me and the mess we had created together in a heartbeat to move on with his life but I wished for him to stay. A little part of me wanted a piece of him, a piece of his heart. I had fallen so deep for this man in such a short time.
When his eyes met mine, I sensed the gentleness in them. He looked worried but he seemed like he didn’t have a clue about how to approach me. The man who had taken me countless times was struggling to find the words he wanted to say. I took a step towards him, wanting to feel his warmth but the pelvic pain stopped me immediately. I felt a gush of blood rush out of my body before my eyes drifted into an unknown darkness. The last thing I heard was Liam’s voice calling my name.