Best Friend

‘We’ll always be together’

That was the last thing my childhood best friend said before I never saw him again.

My best friend is a world-famous actor, to the world he was Harry, but to me, he was always Harrison, the goofy and loud kid next door who followed me around.

Harrison and I were inseparable ever since we were babies, we grew up together, and even lived next door to each other, so we spent a lot of our youth growing up together, it was us against the world, we were always together.

But when Harrison turned 14 it all changed, he stopped coming to school, and then eventually he started appearing on TV more, first as an extra, and then as the main lead, until he became world famous.

Now everywhere I look, there he is, the pride of our small town, he will always be known as ’the kid who made it big, my own mother even loved him more than she ever loved me.

When we were kids I was jealous of how everyone always talked to Harrison like he was a golden boy who could do no wrong, everywhere he went people wanted to talk to him, he didn’t even have to try, unlike me.

It’s been ten years since I’ve seen Harrison, I’m no longer that 14-year-old who lived in his shadow, I was a working woman in a job I loved with people who respected and valued me as an individual.

“Charlotte, I can take over if you want to leave early?” My coworker Benji says, coming into the room.

I had sweet baby Joey in my arms, fast asleep, and as much as I needed to leave for the bus that was leaving in ten minutes, a huge part of me wanted to stay longer again today, but as rules go, I needed to take time off for all the overtime I built up.

Gently, I hand over Joey to Benji. “Thanks.” I say quietly. “He should be out for another twenty minutes.”

“I got it from here.” He says with a smile. “See you in two weeks?” He asks and I nod my head, taking my apron off and hanging it up.

“Two weeks.”

Two weeks alone in my apartment with nothing to do and nobody to see, I couldn’t wait.

Going into the staff area, I grab my coat and bag and wave goodbye as I pass the windows of the classrooms, where my coworkers and friends are waking the children up from their afternoon nap.

I loved my job, the kids were great and the people who worked here were all like one big family, and to me, this made it feel like the greatest job in the world.

Making it to the bus stop, my bus pulls up and I notice on the side of the bus is a familiar face, a face I have watched grow ever since he left.

Harrison was advertising his new movie, ‘My darlings’, and given he was from here, everyone had made it their mission to put his face on every bus, wall, and window, making it near impossible to escape him.

For as long as I remember, I resented Harrison for how easy he got it, from my family preferring him over me, to people getting close to me just to be friends with him, it felt like nothing I did was ever good enough.

Despite that, he was still my childhood best friend, and when it was just us together, it was like all that resentment, and jealousy washed away when we just gamed or watched movies together.

Those were the moments I missed more than I want to admit.

As I grew older, and the reality of Harrison not coming back was obvious, I eventually stopped replying to his texts and ignoring his calls, and after a year they stopped altogether, and we had both moved on.

The calls got shorter, and the texts got forced, I could tell we were growing apart and so I was the first to break the link and move on, and so that is what I did, and it turned out well for both of us.

My phone rings in my bag, and once I get it out and see who’s calling me, I sigh before answering my phone.

“Hi, mom.”

“Oh Charly, I thought you’d be at work.” She says, surprised I picked up.

“I just left, what’s up?” I ask, watching for my stop.

“Can’t I just call to see how my daughter is doing?” She grumbles out and I roll my eyes.

No, no you can’t, because she’s never called without wanting something or needing something, either way, when she calls it’s never about how I’m doing, but always about her and how she’s doing, and how she needs my help, because ‘daughters look after their moms’.

“Did you see the posters around town? Harry is doing so well now, I just spoke to his mom and she’s just got a brand new car!” She says excitable. “One of those fancy smart cars all the young kids are driving these days.”

“Isn’t he a good son? He was always such a sweet boy, why didn’t you try to stay in contact with him more?” She nags, mumbling a few incoherent words.

“You know Charly, Harrison is coming in a few days, maybe you can call him and be friends again?”

I see my stop and press the ‘stop button’ on the bus and stand up, holding the phone to my ear as I gather my friends.

Did I hear her properly? Harrison is coming to visit? If he’s visiting it’s for his mom’s 50th birthday, and not to see the friend he once used to live next to.

I get off the bus and sigh, not wanting to have this conversation every time she calls me, all she does is bring up bad memories from my childhood.

“Mom I haven’t spoken to him in 10 years, I don’t want anything to do with Harrison, so please, just drop it already.”

“That’s your problem, you and that attitude, Harrison was a good boy to be your friend, if only you were more like him, then maybe I’d be waking up on my 50th to a new smart car.” She huffs out.

There it is, she said it.

‘If only’.

Just like that, I want nothing to do with Harrison, or my mother because this is how I felt back then when all that mattered was Harrison and how perfect he is, how I should be more like him, successful like him, smile more like him.

“I need to go.” I force out, feeling my patience wearing thin. “Bye, mom-”

“Wait.” She calls out, my finger hovering over the ‘end call’ button. “Are you coming to the party? Gabby will want to see you, she always asks when you’re coming to visit, there are only so many lies I can tell for you Charly.”

“I never asked you to lie for me mom.” I clench my jaw tightly. “I’m really busy so I have to go.”

“Wai-”

I end the call and put my phone back in my bag.

Ten years, ten lousy years, and nothing ever changes, she still treats me like I’m worth nothing when it comes to him- the perfect neighbor who should’ve been her son.

Gabby... Harrison’s mom saw exactly how I felt, and I feel guilty knowing just how much it hurt her when I cut all contact with their family, when Harrison and I stopped talking, the same went for Gabby and me.

His mom was more of a mom to me than mine would ever be, and as much as I tried to stay in contact, it was too painful whenever she brought Harrison up, and told me about their conversations, and his life.

I made it back to my apartment where a box lay outside my front door, once I get inside I kick off my shoes and put my coat and bag away and carry the box to the living room.

Growing up I felt so alone, especially in the days when Harrison was around, so when I got to the age of 18 I found a hobby of sorts... something that made me feel appreciated, something that made me feel... alive.

Opening the box I smile once I see that everyone I had ordered had come, with some free gifts from the website from being a customer and valued reviewer for so long.

The new handcuffs and latex bra and panties were exactly like the picture online, I couldn’t wait to try them out on my stream and talk about everything I bought with my viewers.

I don’t know when it started, but eventually, I found out that using costumes, and toys in the bedroom was something I was interested in, and eventually I just started leaving reviews, and at 24 years old I was posting pictures of me wearing the lingerie I reviewed.

It all happened so fast, and the response I got made me feel something I’ve never felt before, I had people who wanted to speak to me, and just me, to ask how I’m doing, what I was doing, where they could get the outfit I was wearing, and so much more.

It made me feel alive.

Online I had another life completely, nobody knew who I was because I always kept my face out of my photos, but it didn’t matter, my fanbase grew so big that now I was actually making money from products I was reviewing.

Every image I posted boosted my self-confidence and made me feel alive, and although nobody knew this side of me, the side that I liked to dress up with things that were looked down upon, it made me happy, and that was all that mattered.

I took my clothes off and stepped into the shower, I needed to get clean so I could take a new photo for my Instagram and my 75k followers, which was rising every day, especially since I started posting more about the products I bought and was reviewing by wearing them.

When it came to this, I was free to be who I was, and nobody was there to judge me, it was just me, and only me, free to be a freak.