"Well there goes the damned neighborhood." Dean said as he handed beers to John and Sam. "What is Baldie doing here?" Dean glared at Zachariah who had just arrived in a flutter of feathers.
The seraph snorted before turning to Gabriel. "I spoke with Professor Morrison." He handed the archangel a folder. "This is a list of the research he had hidden in his home." Zachariah then turned to Dean. "However, he was a bit miffed with you Winchesters when I told him that he might still be happily alive and digging through ruins if he hadn't crossed paths with you two mud monkeys."
John reached out and placed a restraining hand on Sam's arm. "Should I call Mary and tell her that you're bothering the boys Zachariah?"
Gabriel snickered when the seraph gulped. "I was just leaving." Zachariah quickly fluttered away.
"Uh, did we miss something?" Sam asked with a frown.
"Zachariah has a healthy respect for your mother." John said with a bit of a smirk.
"Respect?" Gabriel snorted. "He's terrified of your mother. He showed up at the Roadhouse and your mother beat him like a government mule. Virgil still gets a kick out of the fact that Michael's right hand man got his ass kicked by Mary for messing with her kids."
"See Sam, I told you mom was awesome." Dean said giving his brother a playful shove.
"Okie dokie, let's see if you chuckleheads got everything." Gabriel said comparing the list to the items the hunters had found. "Yep, looks like everything is here." The archangel snapped his fingers copying all of the items and then snapped them again making the copies disappear. "Lucifer wants to take a gander at the professor's discovery. That should help him find it."
"I thought you said this stuff was useless?" John questioned.
"We think it's useless, but Luci figures better safe than sorry." Gabriel said as he snapped up a huge slice of angel food cake buried under a mound of strawberry whipped cream frosting. "This way we can be sure nothing jumps up to bite us in the ass later. And I agree with him. There's nothing worse than being caught with your angelic boxers around your ankles."
Dean frowned. "Eww. That's a visual I could've done without."
"Figuratively speaking." Gabriel added with a smirk. "Anyhoo, crossing your I's and dotting your T's never hurt anybody."
"Uh you got it backwards." Sam said. "It's cross your T's and dot your I's."
"I was speaking to Deano, backwards seems to be his normal state."
"I don't mean to question your judgment Lucifer, but shouldn't somebody be keeping an eye on hell?" Alistair asked as he waited for the archangel to finish checking the copy of Professor Morrison's journal.
"Jack and Crowley can handle it." Lucifer said unconcerned. "I want to make sure that there's nothing about this damned journal that could cause us trouble." Lucifer turned around and lifted his head squinting at something off in the distance. "Besides, Jack and Jed are loyal to me because I give them free rein to indulge their hobbies and Crowley has too much of a conscience to stab me in the back now. It's this way." Lucifer began walking toward a stand of trees.
"Alright. Then why don't you tell me why we're strolling around this tropical paradise?" Alistair asked.
Lucifer let out a deep sigh. "I'm not the first angel to fall, many others fell before me; they chose to walk around down here on Earth thumbing their noses at heaven and our father by reproducing with female mud monkeys. At first we all turned a blind eye to it. I think we all thought it was just a phase and they would lose interest. The old man however, was not amused."
"That was how the nephilim came into being?" Alistair asked.
"Yes. Michael and Raphael found it…troubling. Gabriel really didn't have an opinion, probably because he was too busy flitting here and there carrying God's word. Me? I really didn't give a rat's ass one way or the other." Lucifer continued. "Eventually it became a bit of a sore spot with our father and he began to speak of the offspring as abominations. That led to a lot of disagreements among the archangels. In the end Father had his way and the other than a handful, the fallen and their offspring were destroyed."
"How exactly does that lead to us being here?" Alistair asked growing impatient.
"Well if you would shut up and stop interrupting me, I was getting to that." Lucifer said turning to glare at the demon who held his hands up in a placating manner. "Now, as I was saying. Other than a handful they were all destroyed. Among those we destroyed was a fallen by the name of Ezra, he was an ambitious one."
"And this Ezra is why we are here?" Alistair asked and then at Lucifer's glare said. "Sorry."
"Yes, I need to know if Ezra actually left something behind or if this is just his standard bullshit." Lucifer said.
The two walked in silence for a few minutes. Alistair finally had to break the silence. "If all these other angels fell before you did, how is it that you ended up as the king of hell?"
"They were angels, but I am an archangel." Lucifer said. "They may have been powerful but comparing an angel to an archangel is like comparing a Chihuahua to a Rottweiler; the Chihuahua may make a lot of noise and act like they are dangerous but in the end you can dropkick their ass into next week. You don't want to try that with a Rottweiler, they will eat your ass alive. And all of us archangels at one point or another have been known to smite our own to make a point. Every angel knows this; they don't want to be on our bad side. When I showed up, they all broke their backs bowing and scraping."
Lucifer stopped in front of a dark opening and then consulted the diary again. "This is it, let's go."
Alistair followed his king inside the cave. "What exactly are we looking for?"
"I have no idea. There could be nothing in this cave or there could be anything including ancient angelic weapons. "We'll just have to keep our eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary."
Lucifer made his way to the back wall where the professor had made his discovery. "Zachariah, get your annoying ass down here pronto."
"Lucifer." The seraph gave a haughty sniff. "I work for your brother; a bit of respect would be appreciated."
"Decipher that and I'll consider it. Obviously Ezra wrote it." Lucifer said. "I want to know what it says."
Zachariah studied the writing for a few moments. "You are a stuck up pretty boy; Raphael's lips are glued to Michael's ass, Gabriel only moves as fast as he does because there's nothing between his ears to slow him down and Michael is an overbearing dictator. Anything else?"
Lucifer glared at the seraph. "I should smite you where you stand."
"You wanted to know what it says." Zachariah gestured toward the wall. "That is what it says. Ezra obviously had a low opinion of the archangels. I would say he got what was coming to him. Now is there anything else you need. If not, I need to get back to the search for Hadrian."
"No, go make yourself useful." Lucifer said.
"I swear you two are like Pigpen in the old Peanuts comic strip. It's like wherever you go there's this big cloud of trouble that follows you around." Jody said. "I used to think the world was a logical place and then Bobby and you pulled me into all this hunting stuff. But I guess it's better to know what's happening than to walk around with your heads in the clouds."
"Look at the bright side, as long as they are around you can avoid the boring stakeouts" Balthazar said. "And since you're not on boring stakeouts you're not stuffing your face with powdered donuts so you don't have to worry about Cop's Ass Syndrome. There's a reason those veterans on the force tend to be pear shaped."
"Balthazar, isn't there someone out there somewhere that you haven't had an orgy with?" Gabriel asked.
"Only in this building." The seraph snarked.
"Can we not talk about Balthazar's sex life?" Dean said. "I just ate."
"I think that's a really good idea." Jody said. "So you really think that this Hadrian is going to show up here in town?"
"Actually we're hoping not, but it never hurts to be careful. We're actually going to try to set a trap for him away from here but it will take some time to set it up and bait it." Gabriel said. "In the meantime Michael has sent another squadron to protect the town. I've already spoken to them and they know that you are the law around here, so you shouldn't have any problems with them."