"Guys, he honestly didn't know." Gabriel said. "It was Zachariah that found it and brought it to my attention."
"As much as I'd like to smite the slimy bastard myself, Gabriel is right. Metatron didn't know about this ritual." Raphael confirmed.
"So we have to somehow get Death to come here, and get him and Dean Winchester to agree to it?" Balthazar snarked. "We may as well bend over and kiss our asses goodbye right now. Even if Death doesn't smite us all considering how high up we are on his shit list thanks to Lucifer, Dean would see all of creation circle the drain before he agrees."
"Perhaps not, Dean has made an agreement with Death before to save Sam's soul from the cage." Castiel added.
"True, but it was a temporary matter. There's a huge difference between 24 hours and eternity." Michael noted. "And then there is still the matter of getting Death to come without singeing our wings as soon as he sees us."
"It's still better than the alternative." Lucifer said. "The old man is forgiving, but even God's patience has its limits."
"I would suggest that we take one item at a time." Uriel suggested. "If we can convince Dean first, he could summon Death with less risk."
"And how exactly are we supposed to convince him?" Lucifer queried.
"Bribery!" Gabriel said at the same time Castiel said "Cheeseburgers…and pie."
"So Abaddon killed her mother and Raphael delivered her and then dumped her in your laps?" John asked.
"Her mother was a distant cousin of mom's" Sam explained. "Descended from the original Campbell clan that came over during the Colonial Era."
"John you know you wanted a girl so bad you kept insisting that I was going to have a girl when I was pregnant with Sam." Mary said as she placed the baby in John's arms.
"So that explains why you're such a girl Sammy." Dean teased.
"Bite me Dean." Sam said. "We had kind of arranged for her to stay with Jody."
"I'm aware of that since Jody brought her to me." Mary said. "She's family John, so dig up those old memories and dust them off Daddy. We have a new baby girl to take care of." Mary crossed her arms as John gave her a guarded look. "What?"
"Uh, I kind of changed my mind about wanting a little girl when Dean hit puberty. I kept imaging how I would react if some kid like him showed up at my front door wanting to take my daughter out on a date." John said sheepishly.
Mary snorted. "I guess he just takes after his father then, doesn't he? It's not like you ever lacked female companionship before you left to join the marines. The entire town of Lawrence breathed a sigh of relief since they wouldn't have to lock up their daughters anymore."
"I take it we're adopting at our age?" John sighed.
"Yes, it would do these two good to have a little sister." Mary said and turned to her sons. "And since the two of you couldn't spare a couple of minutes to give her a name, Jody did it for you; meet your sister, Angelica."
Hadrian paced back and forth as he waited for the demon. So far nothing in the records he had stolen from that Professor had been of any worth. According to his translators, the entire record was nothing more than a verbose rant against archangels and heaven itself. And while this was disappointing, it was not completely worthless; he had gained insight into the personalities of the archangels.
Michael was rigid in his thinking. Everything was black or white for heaven's commander, there were no shades of gray. Raphael was a follower, incapable of original thought that would follow Michael like a lost puppy. Lucifer was ineffectual, at most a pretty ornament to stand as proof of the creator's ability to create beauty. Gabriel was a glorified delivery boy.
Hadrian had already crossed two of the archangels off of his list, certain that they would pose no threat. Michael however was a threat and it was clear that Raphael would follow Michael's lead. It was Michael that he truly had to watch for. As heaven's leader, it was clear that the host would do whatever he commanded. Hadrian stopped pacing and picked the book back up. Now that he had sorted out the intel on the leaders, it was time to study the army.
"Wow this Ezra really doesn't think much of the Archangels." Kevin said as he closed another one of the folders on the flash drive Gabriel had transferred Professor Morrison's information onto. "He makes them out to be inept, incompetent, stupid and lazy."
"So it would seem." Henry said. "That could work in our favor. If he thinks they are as useless as Ezra made them out to be, there's a good chance that he will underestimate them."
Gertie chuckled. "If all I had to go on was this, I'd be chasing them around the bunker with a broom."
"Chasing who around the bunker?" Gabriel asked as he and Castiel appeared in the library.
"You and your brothers, Ezra didn't have a very high opinion of you." Henry explained.
"Eh, the feeling was mutual. Ezra was a waste of grace." Gabriel said as he picked up a translation and started reading. "As usual, blaming everyone else for his shortcomings." Gabriel sat the paper back down. "We need to call a 'family' meeting. We may have a way to bring Samael back without dirtying our own hands but we're going to need Dean's help."
"I take it there is a reason you're telling us this." Henry prompted.
"It may take some effort to convince him. It would require him making an agreement with Death." Castiel explained making air quotes to emphasize 'agreement'.
"What exactly is it that you need him to do?" Gertie asked. "I've found him to be quite helpful and agreeable, most of the time."
"Oh nothing big," Gabriel snorted. "Just become a reaper."
Kevin snorted. "No wonder you're asking for help. The chances of that happening are slim to none."
"Which is why we are requesting your assistance?" Castiel said. "He would reap supernatural entities and hold much the same position with Death that Sam already holds with Lucifer. In return Death could be convinced to return Samael."
"Henry and I have been working our way through those books by Carver Edlund and correct me if I am wrong; but didn't everyone Death resurrect in Sioux Falls turn out to be a zombie?" Gertie asked.
"Death raised them as revenants. He did not raise them intact." Castiel said. "It was Death that rescued Sam's soul from the cage."
"Look that bag of bones can raise anyone that he wishes with or without a soul. In this case I think he would agree to what we want since he has a vested interest." Gabriel said. "If Hadrian raises Abaddon her goal will be to destroy heaven. Heaven goes and everything goes the entire program known as existence ends up out of whack. Death likes things orderly; you die when your number is up. If Hadrian and Abaddon get their way, everybody's number comes up at the same time."
"And that would disturb him." Henry concluded.
"It will twist his panties up so tight; his testicles will pop out of his nostrils." Gabriel colorfully agreed.