"Well we can add a jar of camphor oil to the collection." Gabriel said. "And your Grandpas are off to Roswell as in UFO crash/Area 51 Roswell."
"Roswell?" Sam pinched the bridge of his nose as if warding off a headache. "Gabriel, no offense but I think your brother needs some professional help."
"Think? I know he needs some help." Gabriel sighed. "Nothing that he is doing makes any sense at all. It's like he's leading us on a wild goose chase."
"Okay hell has officially frozen over because damned if I don't actually agree with Gabriel on that one." Dean said.
"I said it's like he's leading us on a wild goose chase, I didn't say he was. Without actually knowing what he is up to we can't afford to treat it like it's a joke. We're talking about Metatron here. He's Dad's scribe." Gabriel said. "There are a lot of things Dad had him write down that even the Archangels don't know about."
"How did that happen?" Dean asked. "I mean you guys are Archangels. How does anything happen in heaven that you don't know about?"
"We didn't exactly spend all of our time glued to Dad's ass you know? That was Metatron's thing. The rest of us had duties to perform." Gabriel said. "Whatever he told Metatron while we weren't around, he didn't bother repeating when we were around."
"So basically Metatron could be up to anything." Sam said.
"Bingo. Either we are going to have to find a pattern or wait until he's done whatever it is he's doing." Gabriel agreed.
"Roswell. Area 51. Alien central." Samuel snorted. "The biggest pile of bull ever sold to a gullible public." Samuel Campbell and Henry Winchester were lying on their bellies at the top of a bluff looking down at a little roadside souvenir stand with binoculars where Verchial and Metatron seemed to be inspecting the wares.
"So you don't believe in little green men?" Henry asked.
Samuel snorted. "Only when I drink too much the night before. Aliens don't come from outer space, they come from a hangover. Project Bluebook was a complete waste of money."
"Project Bluebook, How do you know about that?" Henry asked "That was a top secret government project. Classified too dangerous for the public to know about!"
"Well if it was so secret, how is it that you know about it?" Samuel demanded.
"Because one of our members worked on that project. It was never about finding aliens, it was about finding out what was up there that pilots kept running into. Large glowing objects that could move faster than the speed of light and out maneuver anything that we had." Henry said. "And who knew what the Russians had. The Cold War allowed a lot of paranoia to thrive at the highest level of government."
"So you thought the UFO's were Russian?" Samuel asked.
"Of course not." Henry said "I'm a Man of Letters not a moron. Besides we already knew it wasn't the Russians. We had Russian members and their government was experiencing the same phenomenon. But with the knowledge that I have now, I know what Project Bluebook never discovered."
"Oh and what's that?" Samuel said. "What are these UFO's that people keep seeing?"
"Sam and Dean gave me the answer." Henry said. "Brilliant light, unbelievable speed and maneuverability, Flight capability. I think I can safely say that UFOs are Michaels, Raphaels, Gabriels Castiels; They are angels."
Samuel was now really laughing. "Do you realize how big some of those UFO's were supposed to be?"
"Yes, and in their true forms, angels are as big as Skyscrapers." Henry said.
"So why would they buzz planes?" Samuel asked.
"Curiosity? To find out if we were a threat?" Henry said. "To keep us from reaching heaven before our time? Maybe just as a bad joke."
"Hmmph." Samuel grunted. "Yeah because that's obviously a joke." Samuel nodded down to the little stand where Metatron was cradling a large stuffed ET in his lap.
"ET Phone home?" Dean said. "Really? A stuffed alien plushie? What, is he reading Weekly World News too?"
"How did they ever go out of publication with all you angels being such big fans?" Sam asked.
"Don't blame me." Gabriel said. "I loved the crossword puzzle and my Bat Boy updates! I even had one of the longest running subscriptions ever."
"You would." Dean remarked "But how does Marvin the Martian fit it with camphor oil and a treasure map in a wooden box?"
"If I knew that I wouldn't be standing here wearing this totally perplexed expression on my face." Gabriel snarked. "This shit is totally random it makes no sense whatsoever. And it looks like every time he goes after another item it just becomes even more confusing."
"But his mark has been on everything he's gone after." Sam said. "There's got to be a reason for that."
"Verchiel," Metatron said. "I think that we should be honest with each other. You haven't been honest with me."
"Metatron I..." Verchiel started.
"No it's okay, I haven't exactly been honest with you either." Metatron said. "I know that Michael told you to do this. Just like I know this isn't really heaven. Tell me are they shadowing our path of travel in the real heaven?"
"Michael charged me with a mission, yes. To discover where you had hidden Castiel's grace." Verchiel admitted straightening his spine proudly. "Since you have discovered this fact there is no need to continue this farce. Where is Castiel's grace?"
"You haven't figured it out?" Metratron laughed. "It's all over the place. A sliver here, a fragment there. Over a dozen hiding places that we must visit to retrieve them all. That is why I told the Archangels that I would show them where it is.
And even if I were to tell you where the rest of the pieces were hidden, it would do you no good. They won't reveal themselves to anyone but me. However once revealed, they are revealed. So if they are following our movements, they are collecting Castiel's Grace."
"I must inform Michael of this." Verchiel said.
"Yes go ahead and inform him. But they cannot find the other pieces without me and if Michael shows his pompous face; finding the rest of Castiel's grace will cease to be a priority for me. In fact any of those sanctimonious bastards gets near me and finding Castiel's grace falls to the very bottom of my to do list, right behind dying by having my very atom's ripped apart one by one." Metatron said. "If you tell them they won't be able to resist. One or all of them are going to show up and Little Cassie's grace will remain hidden until that human body of his wears out and he ceases to exist. So it is in Castiel's best interest that you keep what you know just between us."