Benny was in the kitchen slurping a bag of O-negative when Lucifer and Spicy reappeared. "Oh Look at you!" She sauntered over to the vampire and leaned close taking a big sniff. "Well that's a disappointment. Sugar anyone that looks like you do should smell like Old Spice."
"What the hell is this?" Benny asked taking in the very femininely attired demon who was also now sporting a 5 O'clock shadow on his/her jaw.
"Benny this is Spicy Tabasco my new personal assistant," Lucifer introduced. "Spicy this is Benny."
"Oh yes the resident bloodsucker." Spicy said "Well darling don't change a thing! Your style is totally working for you and you rock it well. Just add in the Old Spice and perfection!" She turned back toward Lucifer. "Now where is this prophet you mentioned?"
Benny watched the two leave, bag of blood totally forgotten.
"Are they gone yet?"
Benny spun around to find Gabriel and Raphael standing behind him peering at the door to the living areas of the bunker.
"Yeah, I think they are going looking for the prophet." Benny said. "What the hell was that?" Benny asked still staring at the door. "I think it's trying to tell me I stink and is that a man or a woman because it looks like a man even though it's dressed like a woman!"
"Count yourself lucky if all she wants is to add cologne to your wardrobe." Gabriel said. "She wants to drag me up in a little red cocktail dress! If I wanted to get all dragged up in a little red cocktail dress I would just change myself into a woman. It's not that hard."
"Oh stop complaining Gabriel. Lucifer was helping her hunt for a yardstick. She wanted to have one on hand just in case." Raphael said.
Benny looked at Raphael and burst out laughing.
"So she recruited a bunch of gang bangers?" Dean asked. "At least if they run we can catch them when their pants fall down around their ankles and they trip."
"I do not understand," Castiel said. "Why would their pants fall down?"
"It's called saggin Bro, and a frequent risk of saggin is having your pants fall down unexpectedly." Gabriel said.
"Saggin?" Michael asked. "I'm afraid that I'm with Castiel on this one. I don't understand that reference."
Gabriel snapped his fingers and Castiel and Michael immediately grabbed the waist of their now too big about to fall off their rear end pants to pull them back up. "That Brothers mine, is saggin. It's got to be right up there with knee britches and whalebone stays for worst fashion trend in history."
"There is however a bright note." Crowley said. "My um advisory council is not really happy with the new regime. They could be convinced to come back over to our side. Especially since many of them are traditionalists deep down. Having Lucifer back on the throne would be all the incentive needed."
"The bad part is the sheer size of her army." Lucifer said. "All she had to do was recruit to top leaders of a gang and she has the whole gang even if they aren't all demons. So were going to have humans in the crossfire."
"Humans who deserve whatever they get." Gabriel said. "Most of them are terrorizing their neighbors, pushing drugs on elementary school playgrounds and killing rival gang members without a second thought for the collateral damage. They will kill kid playing in his yard if it means they can get to an enemy. The Trickster in me has no problem in agreeing with the Archangel going on a smitefest of epic proportions. The only possible snag we might have is with those who think humans should be protected from the 'monsters' just because their human." Gabriel glanced at Dean.
"Hey don't look at me. They're working with demons, so gank em all." Dean said. "Besides Sam and I have met a few human monsters along the way since Crawford Hall."
"So now that everyone is up to date, I should get back to the hell bitch." Spicy said. "I think I can keep her occupied with accessorizing for a bit longer; but get your crap together quickly squirrelfriends. Because once I run out of distractions, she is going on a rampage."
"Be careful Spicy." Lucifer said. "Remember you have a throne room that requires your 'special' touch."
"Not just a throne room but the entire domain. Hell is long overdo for a makeover." The demon winked at Lucifer and vanished.
"Lucifer, really?" Michael asked.
"What? I like her. She's rebellious, candid and in case you haven't noticed she makes our little brothers uncomfortable." Lucifer smirked. "Gabriel and Raphael avoid her like the plague."
Michael shook his head. "So what about on the hunting side of things?"
"Benny and I are almost finished with the bullets for the Colt." Sam said. "It's time consuming because you can only make them in batches of 13. Right now we have 3 batches done and working on the fourth. If there's more than 50 or so white and yellow eyed demons we have to take out, we'll run out of bullets."
"We've also only got the one demon killing knife." Dean added. "I spoke to Garth and gave him a couple of exorcisms that he'll pass along to other hunters, but they are going to be stuck working working with holy water and salt for the most part."
"You know while that creature has Abaddon occupied we should take the opportunity to repair the cage." Raphael suggested. "We would then be able to secure Metatron freeing up his guards to join the battle."
"That would be wise." Castiel agreed "Verchiel, Virgil and Balthazar are all experienced veterans who fought during The Rebellion. Their experience would be invaluable to the younger angels."
"Gabriel, you have spoken to the cupids?" Michael asked.
"Yep. Once I got through the whole we're lovers, not fighters argument to let them know they would simply be messengers or medics, they were okay with it." Gabriel said. "Although they aren't very happy with you Castiel. They said no more hugs for you since you caused all that falling trouble. I figured I'd let them keep on believing it was your fault. Not being attacked by hug starved cherubs doesn't sound like much of a punishment to me. As a matter of fact I wish they would punish me like that."
"Thank you." Castiel said with the barest hint of a smile. "I will endeavor to bear my suffering in a stoic manner."
"Castiel, sarcasm?" Lucifer laughed. "I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to think the Winchesters are a good influence on you. Now if they could just get you laid."
Dean choked and Sam pounded his brother on the back even while he was laughing. "Dean tried, they got thrown out of the brothel."
"Now that's a tale I have to hear." Lucifer said.
"Ahem!" Michael cleared his throat loudly. "Can we get back to the business at hand." he glared at every occupant in turn until the room was silent once again. "So the Cupids will act as messengers and medics.
Brothers let's go fix the cage immediately. Castiel you will remain here, we will let you know when it is ready and you and Verchiel will bring Metatron to us. By that time we should have the weapons inventory from Balthazar and Virgil."
Kevin had taken to hiding in his room after a warning from Benny about the crazy demon drag queen that was looking for him. So when there was a knock on his door he cracked it just an inch and poked the end of a water pistol through the crack until he saw that it was Dean.
"Is that Drag queen out there?" Kevin asked trying to see around the hunter.
"No all clear." Dean said. "She's back at her post spying on Abaddon."
Kevin let out a breath and relaxed. "Good I was kind of going stir crazy stuck in here."
"Yeah well come on kid. Everyone else is getting prepared for the big battle, now it's your turn." Dean said as he escorted Kevin down the the basement where the indoor shooting range was set up.
Benny and Crowley were all gathered around looking at the paper target that was sprouting holes in vital areas every time Sam pulled the trigger.
"Nice shooting Tex." Benny said as the target traveled along a wire back to where they stood. He picked up a new target. "I'm gonna have to do some real sharpshooting to beat that."
"Um Dean why am I down here?" Kevin asked.
"You're pretty good with that supersoaker. Now it time for you to get pretty good with this." Dean said handing his gun to the prophet.