Spicy arrived in the middle of a heated discussion over Metatron's meatsuit. The Winchesters seemed to think that the angels should perform some miracle and fix what could not be fixed in any way shape or form while the angels were arguing to send the meatsuit to a monastery somewhere off the coast of Italy.
"You do know that there's nothing left to fix, right." Spicy said butting into the discussion. "The only part of this meatsuit's brain still functioning is the part that regulates involuntary bodily functions."
"Spicy? What are you doing back so soon?" Lucifer asked.
"Breaking news, sugar. Good or bad first?" Spicy asked.
"Good. We could use some good news." Dean said.
"Well Sam you will be happy to know that Abaddon no longer wants your head on a platter." Spicy said.
"Well that's a relief." Dean said.
"Now she wants all of you intact although she will overlook a few minor injuries." Spicy went on.
"What? Why?" Sam demanded.
"What are you a reporter for the Hollywood Times?" Spicy said. "If you would stop playing twenty questions I'll happily tell you. You Sam, would make a perfect hostage to get Dean to fall in line. Hell is short a torturer and Dean here has skills."
"I'm not going to torture anybody on her behalf." Dean said.
"Oh really, even if she slaps Sam on the rack and uses him to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey?" Spicy asked. "How long do you think you could listen to your baby brother's screams before you break...again?"
"Okay this bitch is seriously getting out of hand. Either she has forgotten who Sam is or she never knew." Lucifer said.
Spicy stopped and really took a look at Sam. "Yes the Boy King, Lucifer's True Vessel, Prince of the Infernal Realm. And if all that wasn't enough he's built like a brick shithouse. She simply doesn't care, sugar. He's a means to an end.
For the moment however I'd suggest sending the artichoke in the bed there far away from here. The last thing anyone needs to do is worry about protecting a salad ingredient. Now I must get back, I don't want Dear Abby to start wondering what's taking me so long."
"That creature even agrees." Raphael said as Spicy disappeared. "This is not the place for him. He will be well cared for by the monks. It is their calling after all."
"I still don't see how snapping him off to some Monastery in the middle of nowhere is taking care of him." Sam said.
"It the place where Prophets and former vessels go on this earth. Sam." Gabriel said "Those monks aren't just monks. They know of the existence of angels. They have all experienced being a vessel it's a rite of passage into the order."
"They will see to all of his needs and he will be honored." He will live in luxury until he passes on to heaven." Michael added.
"Guys I don't know, I think maybe I agree with the angels.' Kevin said. "He can't protect himself, he'd be safer there."
"Besides I'm thinking we're all going to have to keep an eye on Sam's back." Benny said "That's gonna be hard to do watching Sam and him."
Sam stepped back from the bed. "Okay you're right."
"Sammy?" Dean protested "We don't just ignore our responsibility."
"Dean we're at Ground Zero here. We can't have anyone around who isn't capable of at least running from danger." Sam said. "Especially not if Abaddon is going to focus on me."
Dean finally stepped aside allowing Raphael to gather the man's body in his arms and disappear.
Gathered around the table trying to figure out a good battle plan were The Archangels (minus Raphael who was still at the monastery), Balthazar and Virgil (Heaven's armorers), Verchiel and Castiel, The Winchesters, Benny and Kevin. Of course Battle strategy was Michael's forte. He had been commanding the forces of heaven while Mankind was still huddling in caves afraid of the dark.
And all of the angels at the table were veterans with battlefield experience. If you wanted to get technical, it could be said the Winchesters were also veterans who had been raised waging war against the demonic. Even Benny had learned a thing or two during his time in Purgatory.
"We all have some experience, well except for Kevin." Michael said. "Balthazar, Virgil as the armorers of the host I will leave it to you to provide him with a weapon suitable to defend himself."
"Michael wouldn't it have been better to just have sent him along with Raphael? After all that's where Chuck Shurley is." Gabriel noted. "No offense kiddo but you are almost as much of a liability as Metatron's vessel."
"I know how to kill demons." Kevin spoke up. "I'm the one who translated the Demon tablet."
"Kevin, it would be safer for you somewhere else." Dean said reasonably. "I mean Crowley is on Lucifer's side which means our side right now. Crowley was the one you had to look out for. You can bow out of this fight."
"No I can't." Kevin said. "I'm the one who started the whole trials thing without having all the information. Sam almost died and Abaddon is running around on the loose. That's my fault."
"You need new role models. The Winchester tendency to wallow in guilt is rubbing off on you, Prophet." Crowley said as he appeared in a chair.
"Crowley. Did you manage to contact any of your prospective 'rebels'?" Lucifer asked.
"I actually had a long chat with Belarus. He made me aware of a few things, like Abaddon's ultimate agenda." Crowley said. "It seems that her run in with Henry Winchester wasn't an accident. She didn't just suddenly stumble across the Men of Letters. She was hunting them, I dare say that it is this place she was looking for."
"It was," Sam said. "She wanted the key. That was why she was chasing Henry."
"Well I can tell you why she was so interested in the Men of Letters." Crowley said. "According to Belarus, she was convinced that somewhere in the vast records of this place is the knowledge on how to open the cage...and kill Lucifer. Evidently she's been plotting your demise for centuries."
"What so she could take over hell?" Dean asked "All she had to do was what she has already done. Snatch the throne from you."
"True but that evidently was not her ultimate goal gentlemen." Crowley said. "There was a second part of her plan. Lucifer and Michael's disappearance from the cage made it possible along with your little plan to keep the demons from looking for their king. Simply put, she has spread the word that you, Lucifer are dead, at the hands of your loving brother Michael and the angels of Heaven. A perfect rallying point to declare war on Heaven."
"Those loyal to Lucifer will want revenge and the rest will just fight because it's against heaven." Dean said.
"Amazing, and here I thought squirrels had brains the size of peanuts." Crowley said. "Belarus has those loyal to him and there are a few more of the council as rabidly loyal to Lucifer as he is. It won't put that big of a dent in her forces, but I figure every little bit helps."
"It does." Michael said. "And knowing her goal makes it a bit easier to plan strategy." He turned to Dean and Sam. "You mentioned a hunter named Garth, he has access to other hunters?" Michael asked.
"Yeah. He sort of took over Bobby's job. Verifying our identity for local law enforcement stuff like that. He'll know who is actively hunting right now." Sam said.
"Dean, we will need a list of hunters. Abaddon will go after them. I will assign a regiment of seraphs to work with the hunters. Castiel take Dean to Garth and explain the situation. The sooner we know who needs angelic assistance the better. We may be able to prevent Abaddon from doing too much damage."
"As you wish." Castiel said bowing his head.
"Virgil, Balthazar I take it the inventory has been completed?" Michael asked.
"Yes all of the weapons have been accounted for." Virgil answered.
"Accounted for? They are not all under lock and key?" Lucifer questioned.
"Um there's the matter of a horn..." Balthazar said.
"Which is accounted for." Gabriel said. "That is not a weapon we need against Abaddon. Unless it's your intention to just destroy this world?"
"No, no." Michael said. "I trust it is well protected little brother. That is one weapon that we do not want Abaddon getting her hands on."
"It is. I can guarantee the one who has it will not let it fall into Abaddon's hands." Gabriel said. "I searched for it with my grace when I came back. Someone else took custody of it. It's safe."
"Gabriel, you may trust your little pagan friends, I don't." Michael said.
"Who said anything about the Pagans?" Gabriel smirked. "It's surrounded by the Divine Grace of Creation."
"Dad has it?" Lucifer asked.
"I guess with you two jackoffs trying to start the Apocalypse," Gabriel explained. "He just didn't trust you with it."