"What could we possibly have to talk about Dean." Ansem asked. "It's not like we ran in the same circles."
"Oh you'd be surprised. We both spent our time in hell." Dean had a jar and he was mixing the sea salt in with holy water from the bottle Michael had blessed. He dipped a finger into the mixture and flicked it at Ansem who immediately started screaming. "For example, did you know that I studied under Alistair."
Gabriel pushed off the wall where he had been standing. "Look I torment people but with their own sins. I don't outright torture them. I'm not going to be a part of this. I'm leaving and I'm taking Sam with me. He doesn't need to see the monster his brother is underneath it all." Gabriel and Sam disappeared.
"Little brother always has been too squeamish for his own good." Lucifer said. "I told you that you should have broken him of that weakness when he was younger." Lucifer said to Michael. "What about you Raphael? You too soft hearted to remain and watch a master at work?"
"Oh no Brothers." Raphael said with a smirk. "Even I know that Alistair was a Rembrandt with a knife. I'm eager to see what his favored student learned under the master's tutelage."
"I thought angels were supposed to be the good guys?" Jake said. "You protect people, do God's will."
"Actually Jake, like you, we're soldiers." Michael said. "But soldiers from a time when there was no Geneva Convention. Collateral damage really doesn't mean much to us if it results in us achieving our objective."
"We moved across the face of Egypt and slaughtered every first born thing in the night. Only those who followed our father's command were passed over." Raphael said. "Then we drowned Pharaoh's Army in the sea."
"We rained fire and brimstone down on two cities and leveled them. You speak of these events even today." Lucifer said. "Don't blame us if you bought into a marketing campaign that presents us as pacifist beings lounging in the clouds strumming harps."
"To put it in simple easily understood terms, Angels are not nice." Michael said "We are bloodthirsty emotionless beings who only have one driving instinct. Impose our Father's will, no matter the cost. And watching a demon tortured isn't much of a cost."
"That other angel seemed to think it was." Jake said.
"Is that what you think?" Lucifer asked. "I suppose I didn't phrase it clear enough. He's squeamish not because he dislikes blood and torture but because he likes it too much. His vessel was probably sporting a woody just from the thought of what Dean here is about to do."
"Gabriel what the hell?" Sam asked.
"All part of the fake out Sam." Gabriel said as he popped them into the kitchen. "Right about now your bro is putting on the Grand Inquisitor act and my bros are egging him on. And if we're lucky two demons are pissing their pants."
"Do you think that is going to work?" Sam asked.
"Well if it doesn't, Dean has a good supply of Dead Sea Salt and Arch-angelically blessed holy water." Gabriel said as he pulled out a Strawberry Yoohoo from the fridge.
"What is going on down there?" Jody asked.
"You don't want to know. Dean is not exactly going to read them their rights and offer them legal council." Sam said.
"That's right I forgot, you're Janie Law." Gabriel said then waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Ever think of making a movie using those handcuffs? I'm game if you are."
"Gabriel!" Sam said while Jody stared at the archangel in shock.
"What? You think just cause I'm an angel my vessel doesn't react to a pretty woman when I see one?" Gabriel snorted. "My name is not Castiel; and in case you haven't been paying attention I like human indulgences like food, sleep, and sex."
"This is what we've been praying to all these centuries?" Jody asked.
"Normally I just ignore it; but If you want to pray to me, preferably late at night when you're wearing a satin negligee..." Gabriel snarked.
"Angel or not one more sexually harassing statement out of you and I'll find out how your 'vessel' likes a taser to the family jewels." Jody said.
Gabriel bent over holding his sides laughing. "You know what Sam? I like her better than you Winchesters!"
"I'm not telling you anything." Ansem said even as he fearfully watched the tip of the knife approach.
"Good, the more stubborn you are the more creative I can get." Dean said. "Alistair always said that I was at my best when I was being creative." Dean sat the knife down. "Since you already skipped ahead to 'I'm not telling you anything' I guess we can skip the preliminaries."
Dean picked up a large syringe that looked more like it should be used as a turkey baster. Dean held it up and studied the markings on the side. "Hey Ansem did you hear about that serial killer that got sent downstairs, would have been oh a little more than a year after Jake here opened the hellgate?"
Dean picked up the bottle of holy water. "No? Well let me tell you about him. He got sent straight to the rack. Had a hell of a body count too. The police had him on murder 17 victims. I know in the world of serial killers that's pretty tame right?" Dean picked up a bowl and sprinkled some of the Dead sea salt into the bowl before pouring some of the water into bowl. As he started stirring the brine solution; Dean started talking again. "Anyway this guy was responsible for over 200 victims. The problem was he was killing people and leaving four different M.O.s, that one guy was responsible for the body counts of four different serial killers. Alistair was practically drooling at being able to get his hands on that one."
Dean was now drawing the saline solution into the Syringe. "Raphael I could use your help for a second. I need some medical equipment." Dean held out a list to The archangel who was suddenly grinning from ear to ear as he disappeared.
Dean turned back to Ansem. "That son of a bitch had tortured and killed all those people, so me and Alistair figured he deserved something special. Something really painful" Dean picked up a knife again and started cutting Ansem's clothes away. He had just gotten the demon down to his underwear when Raphael appeared holding what looked like lots of tubing and bags as well as what looked like a surgical pack straight from a hospital operating theater.
"Thank you Raphael. This is just what I needed." Dean turned back to Ansem and wrapped a strap around the Demons arm. "So the first thing we did was to start an IV with some salt water. That was pretty miserable for him but we didn't think he was suffering enough." Dean was poking around on Ansem's arm searching for the demon's vein. "Well Alistair decided to find out what would happen if you gave a demon a holy water and salt enema. And Raphael was nice enough provide me with an enema bag so as soon as I get this IV started."
Ansem began to struggle in earnest. "I don't know what she's going to do. She keeps changing her mind."
Jake looked at the other demon. "He's lying. She said that there was an archive we had to find and there were spells that went back to the beginning of time. She was looking specifically for ones that would let her kill the devil."