Dean had finally started enjoying himself. Currently he was sandwiched between two buxom ladies who had gotten Bump and Grind down to an art form. And yes Dean was bumping and grinding right back just as enthusiastically as they were when the voice of Satan ruined his day.
"Dean really next time try finding a bed first."
"Wait it hasn't been 24 hours yet!" Dean protested. "I've got to at least have one more round of Barry White's greatest hits left!"
"Sorry Dean, but if it makes you feel any better you can get a load of Sam." Lucifer said turning the older Winchester to face his unhappy brother who was dressed like a white Mr T.; Mohawk, 10 pounds of gold the whole works.
"Laugh and I'll kill you." Sam said. "Right after I'm done with him." Sam jerked his thumb in Lucifer's direction as the two Winchesters and the angel suddenly appeared in the conference room.
"Sam that's a new look for you. Guess you and Mr T had a bit of bonding time." Gabriel snorted. Then just gave up and laughed.
"Gabriel, you find our situation amusing?" Michael asked.
"Our situation? No." Gabriel explained. "Sam Winchester's appearance? Hells Yeah! And I need a good laugh." The Archangel fell back into his laughing fit.
Giving an exasperated huff, Michael waved his hand restoring Sam to his normal grunge moose appearance. "Now can we be serious. Abaddon has taken Horton."
"Abaddon kidnapped an elephant? Did she get the Who too?" Dean asked confused.
"Horton is one of our brothers, a Cherub." Rapheal said
"There's an angel named after an elephant that hears Whos?" Dean asked.
"Dean your questions make no sense." Castiel spoke up.
"Remind me to get you dumbasses the complete works of one Theodor Geisel, AKA Dr Seuss." Gabriel said with a bit of disgust then turned to Dean. "Horton is a cupid, not an elephant and like Mikey said, Abaddon has him. She grabbed him from town while we were busy trying to get it closed off to the demons."
"Why would Abaddon want a cupid?" Sam asked.
"For the same reason we wanted Ansem, intel." Lucifer said. "She wasn't the devil's right hand for her stupidity. She is trying to find out what we know and what we plan."
Balthazar suddenly popped into the room. "The town is completely secured and the demons who were there when we started securing it were trapped. I took the liberty of nicely asking a few of them where she might go. She's holed up in a house 5 miles the other side of town from here."
"Did you learn anything else?" Michael asked.
"Only that they are terrified of her. She doesn't mind using a little fear and pain to keep them in line." Balthazar said. "Evidently she threw her second in command into a wall hard enough to break the drywall and a couple of the studs. And I believe you are acquainted with Abby's second Sam, a fairly young demon named Ava? One of your generation of Azazel's short bus kids like Jake and Ansem."
"Yeah I know Ava. She gave in to Azazel quicker than anyone else." Sam said.
"Do we go after Horton, Michael? He is not a soldier." Raphael pointed out.
"Wrong Raphael, we are all soldiers. Every member of the host is part of God's army." Michael said. "Just because you don't actively wield a weapon against the enemy doesn't change things."
"Maybe Raphael should have phrased it differently." Gabriel said. "Horton wasn't trained for this. Being captured by the enemy, we have to do something to get him back."
"What do you suggest?" Michael asked. "We have no idea of what defenses she has on this house or even what her power level is yet. She took an angel prisoner right under our noses."
"So we just leave him to her tender mercies?" Gabriel demanded.
"Gabriel, calm down. Michael didn't say that." Lucifer said. "But we have to think about this situation without the distraction of emotion. We don't know what she is capable of. Should we send others to her not knowing if she is capable of harming them also? How many should we send before the price grows too steep?
Michael must consider all of the host, not just a single cherub."
"I promised them that we would keep them safe Luci." Gabriel said. "This is on me, not Michael. It's my word being broken. What was he even doing out there to begin with? The cherubs were strictly supposed to be Messengers and medics. He had delivered his message. He should have been back home! Why was he out securing the town?"
"I ordered everyone available to work on securing to town, it was a priority." Michael said.
"A priority? You think one Cherub was going to make a difference?" Gabriel said. "Oh wait it did, for her because she got her claws on an angel who can in no way defend himself from her. All because of your priorities. But then again this isn't the first time you put priorities ahead of a brother is it?"
"Gabriel, leave it be. That's water under the bridge." Lucifer said. "I'm sure that Michael will make Horton's safe return his priority" Lucifer turned to Michael "Won't you brother?"
"Horton is a priority." Michael agreed. The reminder from Gabriel getting through to them both. Lucifer's fall was the result of Michael's prioritizing and they both knew it. Michael had put a handful of Humans ahead of his brother simply so he could be the 'good' son. Being the good son was no longer so important. "But we will come up with a solid plan. We are not going rush in half cocked."
"You know if this is you guys getting along I can see why Gabriel called the Apocalypse Sunday dinner." Dean said.
"If you don't have anything meaningful to contribute, just be quiet and be still like a good little mud monkey." Raphael said.
"You do know that 'mud monkey'" Dean pointed at Sam "Went to hell and rescued an innocent soul right? The two of us together have rescued people from Vampires, Wendigos, Leviathans and Demons. You do know we might just be able to help you come up with a plan to get your Who Whisperer back, but then again we're just mud monkeys right?" He turned back to Raphael. "So eat me you feathered dick. Figure it out on your own. I'd rather be in TV Land" Dean stood up and thumped Sam on the arm.
"Dean, Raphael is a dick. That's nothing new but we can't just leave this cherub at Abaddon's mercy because his big brother is a dick." Sam said. "I can relate, there are times my big brother is a dick, like now."
"Raphael's dickishness aside, can you help us come up with a plan?" Michael asked.
"All of the demons she's got with her are pretty much run of the mill. We can fight them by conventional means." Sam said "And for the rest well we have the Colt and over 100 bullets. Only 6 of those bullets can fit in the Colt at any time but we shot her with a regular gun last time but one of Colt's special bullets was in it."
"So you don't need the Colt?" Balthazar asked.
"I'm saying we have options even without the Colt. We shoot her with one of these bullets without the Colt and it will paralyze her as long as the bullet remains in her body." Sam said.
"The rest comes down to holy water, salt rounds in Shot guns and a good exorcism." Dean said.
"Well if you plan on doing exorcisms, I'll need to put out the welcome mat." Lucifer said. "I need to appoint Alistair's replacement. You're good with a knife Dean but the old man intends for you to go somewhere else. Besides I have someone in mind."
"You found someone that is as good as Alistair?" Dean asked. "Who?"
"Well he has kept his identity a secret this long so I'll respect that. I won't tell you his name but you've heard of him and he'll be a more than effective replacement." Lucifer said.
"So who is it, the Black Dahlia killer?" Sam asked.
"No, older. Much much older. They used to call him the Whitechapel Killer."
"You're making Jack the Ripper hell's new torturer?" Dean said. "No way!"
"You have to admit the resume is impressive." Lucifer said. "Now lets come up with a plan to get Horton back that will meet with everyone's approval."