Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
RoseBadwolf1000 would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Why must I die?

By RoseBadwolf1000

Humor / Adventure

Prequel

This chapter is a re-upload. This is a far better beta'd version. Thanks to Malcan for Beta-ing by the way. Now to the copy/pasting of the original A/N! :D

-Break-

Hey, I'm trying out something new here. I'm outlining a story to be a multi-chapter fic. If it works, awesome. If it doesn't, I'll go back to writing one shots. No big deal. Hope you enjoy!

-Enjoy-

Kenny sighed. He was bored, and these Coon and Friends meetings were doing nothing to help the city. He decided to make an announcement, standing to get everyone's attention. "Friends, I have decided two things. We should let the Coon go, as this is his house, but ban him from being a part of Coon and Friends." There was discussion, but in the end it was agreed upon.

After Cartman was let out of the cage, Mrs. Cartman dragged him upstairs and sat him down in front of the TV to watch Terrance and Phillip.

The group sat back down at the table. Stan became puzzled. "Hey Kenny-"

"Call me Mysterion." Stan rolled his eyes, and continued.

"Mysterion, what was your other decision?" The others murmured, curious as well now. They had forgotten about the second decision, busy with their own pretend double lives.

Kenny sighed again. He had hoped they had missed the slip up. The last thing he wanted was to get into this again. "That is not important."

Stan rolled his eyes, and said, "Yes it is. We are a team, and we need to work together."

Kenny face-palmed, and sighed for the third time that night. Honestly, why did he even bother? "Alright, but you guys will think I'm nuts." The others chuckled, but Kyle sighed. 'Kenny's probably going to go on about how he thinks he can't die again,' he thought.

Kenny stood up and turned away from the group. "I want to figure out why I can't die." Some of the group gasped, and some face-palmed. The first section included those like Token (who hadn't yet witnessed the 'I can't die' routine), while the second included those like Kyle (who had experienced the main rants about how much it hurt).

"Dude, you can die." Kyle's tone had come out more antagonistic than he intended, but maybe Kenny needed this harshness to bring him back to reality. Kenny turned around, glaring at Kyle.

"Human Kite, I've talked about this multiple times! You've seen me die-" Kyle stood up there and abruptly began a shouting match.

"No I haven't! No one has! And if we have, why don't we remember?!"

"I DON'T KNOW! THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO FIND OUT!"

"MAYBE WE DON'T REMEMBER BECAUSE YOU DON'T DIE!"

They were face to face, standing on the table. Sensing a fight would soon break out if they were left to continue, the others started standing up to separate them. Kenny backed out of the guys' reach, while Kyle embraced it.

"Guys, I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed." With that line, Kenny pulled out a gun and shot himself. The last things he heard was, "Oh my god, she killed Kenny!" and "You bastard!" They sounded way too traumatized to possibly forget... Right?

Kenny woke up to sunlight shining on his face through his threadbare curtains. 'Morning?' He checked the calendar and clock in his room. It was a Monday, and 6 in the morning. He sighed and got ready for school. He woke up Karen at 7, and handed her his last bit of money for lunch. He also handed her their last pop-tart. He and Kevin could go without breakfast today.

At school, Kenny got chewed out by his friends for leaving their meeting early. He just continued on, mumbling something random into his hood. It wasn't like anyone would pay too much attention, just giving smiles and nods in response. He sighed as he sat in his desk.

Not in the mood to deal with school, he sketched random drawings. One of Mr. Garrison, Kyle, Stan, Karen, the class room, Butters, and some other stuff. Anything he could think of that wouldn't encourage nightmares.

While he was sketching in his notebook, Mr. Garrison put up math problems, along with homework. Kenny hadn't looked up long enough to even acknowledge writing on the blackboard, so Butters handed him a note saying what the homework was. Kenny smiled at the boy. He was so innocent and kind. Kenny mumbled his thanks, and Butters gained a bigger smile.

After school, Kenny and the others went to Coon and Friends Headquarters. He pulled the same suicidal stunt as the day before. Maybe with enough persistence, he would burn it into their brains.

After he woke up that night, in his bed, he put on his Mysterion outfit. He visited Karen and heard about her day in a guardian angel fashion, before going out and stopping some minor crimes downtown. He eventually got killed in a drunk driving accident, but who cared, really? No matter what awful pain his body went through, he barely felt a thing anymore.

He woke up the next morning, same time as yesterday. He went and scanned the shelves for something to give to Karen. He found an egg. He cooked it up, and her smile made his day. "Thank you Kenny! I haven't had a cooked breakfast in ages!" He gave her a hug and walked her to school, almost feeling like he was worth something.

At school, a nearly identical occurrence happened with science as it did with math the previous day. Butters was kind enough to share the homework with him, and he did it right before the day was done. Since they didn't have a Coon and Friends meeting, Kenny asked Butters to hang out. They chatted as Kenny walked Karen home, and then they just hung out at the park. It was a nice change of pace for him.

That next day, Mysterion made an appearance in the news by stopping a gunpoint robbery. Kenny had only been making a list of the Graffiti outside, but then the robbery started, and he couldn't just stand by! He went inside and returned the money, but got shot when one of the robbers fired their weapon. He was proclaimed a hero and promised a memorial, but strangely enough, that part of the program was lost to a camera malfunction, never to be recorded. After his resurrection, he went to the Coon and Friends base, finding all of the heroes already there. Kenny explained the day's events (leaving out his death), but apparently the universe had already rewritten the script. Sick of accusations of "just trying to upstage Mint-Berry Crunch", he simply sighed and apologized. "I just want to sleep" were his final words before shooting himself through the head once more.

-hello!-

I hope you enjoyed, and I will, once this is done, post the original chapters so you know how much they needed the beta! Here is the original AN!

-original here we come!-

Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter is just Kenny video tapes his death, with some minor edits.

Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

heavyreader: great scifi novels but needs a better spell checker (check auto-substitution level) and grammar checker!!! otherwise, ready for mass market publishing!!

MavisMcQueen: "To Live Again" is a well crafted, highly engaging, heart vibrating tale surrounding our favorite Elven King. The author will keep you engrossed until the very end and by that time you will feel so strongly for Clara and the other characters that you will never want it to end...like ever. Thrandu...

vanellesapp: It was so amazing to read this book each part was entertaining.It is that kind of love every body will like to have.I will have like the explanation on how they did it the first time to be more explicit but apart from that it is perfect

Tiffany Thomson: This story is not something I would normally pick up and read but I'm so glad I did, I wasn't able to put it down and my husband was yelling at me at 3am to put it down and go to bed (just waited for him to doze back off before picking it back up) I really hope Natalie brings out another book eit...

Hawkebat: Playing both Kotor I & II and Swtor I found the story line interesting and it held me until chapter 35 Very good story and plot flow until then, very few technical errors. I felt that the main character was a bit under and over powered, as it fought for balance. The last few chapters felt too f...

jessiehs: This book had me hooked from the very beginning. To be honest, I wasn't sure I would like it based on the description, but I was very wrong. The way he overcame all of his childhood challenges and managed to help others was great. There were so many times the story had me on the edge of my seat. ...

CurlyRed: I read this entire book in just under 4 hours I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! i found myself emotionally attached to the characters and making personal connections that i had never experienced before while reading a book! I was constantly wanting to read more, every chapter left me on a cliff hanger tha...

cassandrab: Delightful SciFi (for a change)! I am not a SciFi fan: mostly the genre is far too dystopic for me. This book (written by a high-school friend) is, on the other hand, generally upbeat. Yes, Earth's future is threatened. But Earth has a chance to plan a response. And (spoiler alert) ultimately win...

rudyoxborough46: An action-packed, mystical adventure awaits anyone wishing to read this novel. I’m amazed at how well you’ve managed to flesh out the characters in this book, and I hope to read more of your work.I’ve read books about goblins and elves and all that mumbo-jumbo before, and most accounts of these c...

More Recommendations

Dru83: This is the second or third time I've read this one and I just love it. It has just about everything you could ever want packed into one scifi story. It still has some parts that are a little rough in terms of grammar, punctuation, and word usage, but it's still an awesome story. I love how detai...

austinl0724: I enjoyed this story immensely. It was the first one I read on here and I absolutely loved it. The characters. The content. The twist at the end! This was a great story with a great message and made me think through some things in my own life and how I react to certain situations. Thank you thank...

MegaRogueLegend666: I love this story so much. It's impossible to describe my excitement with each new chapter in words. The author has such a good writing style, very good descriptions of the fighting and character descriptions/emotions. the plot is also amazing! This fanfic could be a side anime show or novel ......

makaylakay: I love love this story! It's written incredibly and well thought-out plot! I love how it's a different twist in fantasy fiction, other then the usual vampire or werewolves. Love the romantics and drawn to the two characters so much already! This book will draw you in within the first chapter and ...

Flik: Hi! ^.^ huge fan of yours on ff.net! When I saw the note about this contest on The Way We Smile, I couldn't help but rush over here, create an account, and vote! XD Seriously love this story and would recommend it to anyone! :D best FT fanfiction out there. Amazing story, amazing concept that wa...