10 Witches Suck
"You bought Sookie's house?" I asked.
"Yes," Eric said.
"And you didn't think to tell me about it?"
"It wasn't that important," he said shrugging.
"Actually, it kind of is."
"Why are you here?" Lily asked.
"I bought the house, therefore I own you," he said simply.
"You bought the house we live in, you didn't buy us," Lily said.
"What is going on?" Sookie asked running down the stairs.
"I just discovered I seriously over paid for this house," Eric said.
"You bought my house?" Sookie asked.
"Yes. The twins and I have gone over this. Well, there are places I need to be. I'll talk to you girls soon." He left just as quickly as he'd appeared.
"I am so sorry!" I said.
"It's not your fault your boyfriend is crazy," Sookie said. We went into the kitchen were Sookie had made a pot of coffee. We each got a cup and went into the living room.
"Well are you going to tell her about Jackson?" Lily asked after a silence.
"I was getting to it," I told her.
"You went back to Jackson?" Sookie asked.
"Yeah, that's why I got bumped back to the early shift. I was there for six months."
"With Alcide?" She asked. I nodded. "You lived with Alcide for six months and yet you still came back to Eric?" Sookie asked.
"It's complicated," I said.
"Apparently. I need to go see Bill."
"Um, Sookie before you go over there there's something I need to tell you about him," Lily said.
"I don't care what it is. I just need to talk to him."
"Alright, don't say we didn't try to warn you," I said.
When Lily and I got home from Merlotte's Sookie was talking to Tara. "Tara! Oh my goodness! I haven't seen you in a year!"
"Hey Rachel how was Jackson?" She asked.
"It was great," I said. She patted the couch next to her and Lily and I squeezed in next to them.
"How long you been back?" Tara asked me.
"A few months," I told her.
"Where have you been?" Lily asked her.
"Well you look fantastic. I love what you did with your hair."
"Oh, Rachel, Eric bought us a microwave," Sookie said.
"Well, you needed a new one. Did he fix the back door?" I asked. She nodded. "You don't sound too happy."
"It's Eric Northman!" She said like that explained everything.
"Yeah, he happens to be my boyfriend so if you don't mind at least trying to pretend like you like him."
"You know what; I'm going over to Bill's for a bit."
When I got over to Bill's he was talking to Eric in his office. "Hey," I said.
"Eric was just leaving," Bill said.
"Where are you going?" I asked curiously.
"To talk to some witches."
"There are witches? Can I come with you?"
Eric looked at Bill for approval. "I don't see why not. Witches are relatively harmless, and a necromancer couldn't do anything to you," Bill said.
"They're necromancers, like people that can control the dead?" I asked.
"Yes and that also includes vampires," Bill said.
"Oh my god! I see why they're a big deal."
"Shall we go?" Eric asked.
"We shall." I texted Lily. "I'll see you guys when you get home from work. Going to see some witches with Eric. Don't worry about me." We pulled up outside some place called Moon Goddess Emporium and walked inside. "This place smells weird," I mumbled as we walked to the back room where we could hear voices. Eric, always one to make an entrance, threw open the doors dramatically. Everyone in the room looked up.
"Ya'll looking for a dead body?" Eric asked. Then he popped out his fangs everyone gasped. Lafayette jumped up, that's when he saw me.
"Lala, what are you doing here?" I asked.
"I could ask you the same question!" He said.
"I came with Eric, obviously," I told him.
"Jesus brought me."
"Anyways," Eric said ending me and Lafayette's conversation. "Which one of you is Marnie?"
An old lady stepped forward. "I'm Marnie."
"Your coven will never meet again, alright?"
"What do I get out of that?" She asked.
"I'd say not killing you all, is a good trade off," Eric answered.
"I'd listen to him Marnie, he tends to get his way," Lafayette said.
"Join hands," Marnie said.
Eric grabbed the old woman and bit her. "Eric!" I yelled. Tara came running in with a stake and raised it up. "Stop, Tara!" I grabbed her arm. Eric dropped Marnie and grabbed Tara. "Eric, don't bite her!" I screamed at him. It seemed like there was a thunderstorm in the room. Then Marnie stood up and started chanting.
Suddenly I collapsed and the whole room went black.
Sookie and I drove up to Fangtasia to talk to Pam. "Hello, Rachel." She said.
"I'm Lily," I corrected her.
"Damn, you two look so much alike. But you couldn't be more different. Why are you here?" She asked.
"Is there any way you can convince Eric to sell my house back to me?" Sookie asked.
"He's my maker; did you really think I'd side with you? Have you tried getting Rachel to ask?"
"No. Do you think that would work?" I asked.
"He loves her. It just might."
"She's with him now. We'll wait around until they get back," I said.
"You do that, and leave me alone. I have things to do." We walked out of the office and back to the bar..
"I've got to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back," Sookie said. I sat down at the bar and told the bartender to make me something fruity. When Sookie came out she looked annoyed. "Let's go."
"I thought we were going to wait around for Eric and Rachel?"
"We can find them later."
"Well alright then." We left before the bartender finished making my drink.
We were almost home when I noticed someone walking down the road. "Isn't that Eric?" I asked pointing him out.
"Yeah it is. Do you see Rachel anywhere?" She asked.
"No, I don't think she's there." We pulled up beside him. "Eric?" I called. He just kept walking. "Eric!" we both yelled out the window.
"Who are you?" He asked.
"It's Sookie and Lily," Sookie told him. He stared at us blankly.
"Eric, you know exactly who we are," I said.
"No." He stopped walking. "Why do you smell so good?"
"You know exactly why I smell the way I smell," I told him. I was already tired of whatever act he was pulling.
"What are you?" He asked. He leaned towards me through the window and his fangs popped out. I squealed and Sookie stepped on the gas.
"What the fuck is going on?" I asked.
She stopped. "I have no idea."
"Where'd he go?" I asked looking around.
Suddenly he was leaning through the window. "Run!" She yelled. We both jumped out of the car and took off. He appeared in front of us and Sookie punched him.
"You broke my nose," He said.
"It'll heal in like two seconds," she said. I stood behind her watching Eric, there was definitely something different about him.
"I don't know who I am." I walked towards them. Still keeping my distance but getting close enough so I could talk to them.
"What was the last thing you remember?" I asked. He started rambling about eyes and people and some of it was in Swedish. "Was my sister with you?"
"I don't know."
"She looks exactly like me," I added.
"No. Maybe. I don't know."
"Well, that's not helpful."
"We'll help you deal with this but you have to follow our rules. No touching either of us and definitely no biting," Sookie said.
"Come on, get in." I sighed.
What about Rachel? I asked.
I don't know.
When we got to Sookie's house the two of us walked in. Eric stopped at the door. "Why are you-oh right of course, Eric please come in," I said.
This may work out to our benefit I said.
Don't get used to it.
"Don't step on the rug!" She said.
"Oh sorry." He stepped back looking like a little kid who just got in trouble, it was kinda cute.
"You're going to track mud all over Sookie's house. I'll go get something to wash your feet off with," I said.
I can do it. If you'd rather. Sookie said.
I'll do it. He's acting very unlike Eric.
Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you have to be around him.
It's ok really. I said. I found a bowl and filled it up while Sookie went upstairs to call Pam.
"Here put your feet in this." I sat down on the floor and grabbed the rag and washed his feet off. "Sorry the water is cold."
"It's alright." He pulled his foot back and I jumped. "It tickles," He said smiling. It was a real smile not his typical smirk and I couldn't help but smile back. He leaned towards me. "You glow, it's beautiful."
"Um thanks?" The door flew open and I jumped about a foot in the air, so did Eric. He also flew across the room.
"Who the fuck is she?"
"That's Pam, you're her maker."
"Shit! You weren't kidding," Pam said. "You and Sookie have to hide him."
"The first place they'll look is with me. He's safer here. Where's Rachel?"
"I'll look for her, but you have to keep him here!" Pam said.
"I'll tell Bill."
"No! I think Bill sent Eric to that coven knowing something bad would happen."
"Bill wouldn't do that!" I said.
"You obviously don't know him as well as I thought you did. Remember the last time Bill tried to get rid of Eric?"
"Yeah because Eric knew what we are."
"Please don't go to Bill. He'd use this as an excuse to kill Eric. Would you want to do that to Rachel?"
I signed. "Fine. We'll keep him." Pam left and Sookie came down stairs.
"It's almost morning; you should get in your cubby," Sookie said.
"Where is it?"
"Right, I forgot you don't know. It's in here." She opened it up and climbed down. "Well it's safe what are you waiting for?" He climbed down after her. I leaned over the opening so I could see them.
"So you live here. In my house?"
"Yes," she said annoyed.
"Are you mine?"
"No! You were dating Lily's sister she was yours. Though I doubt Rachel was a fan of possessive pronouns."
"Now I'm going to go upstairs."
He stepped in front of her, which took her off guard and she backed up. "I want to say thank you for everything," he told her.
"No problem. Now let me go," she came up the ladder and started to close the door.
"Hold on. I'm going to go down there for a minute," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I just want to talk to him."
"Do you want me to wait on you?" She asked.
"No, I'll be fine."
"Alright, good night, Lily."
"Good night." I climbed down the ladder. I slipped on one of the rungs but Eric caught me before I fell. I jumped away from him. "Hi," I said. I sat down on the side of the bed. He did too. I slid a little bit away. "I just came down here to…" I sighed. "I don't know. You don't know anything about my sister. I don't know why I needed to talk to you."
He reached his hand toward my face and I jumped up. "I'm sorry." He said.
"No, it's ok. I'm just not really used to vampires, other than Bill. I tend to avoid them, especially being in small spaces alone with them." I sat back down carefully.
"I won't hurt you," he told me.
"I know." I reached out hesitantly and brushed my fingers across his face. Down his cheek and over his mouth, his fangs popped out. I jumped.
"Sorry," he said.
"It's ok." I reached out and touched one of his fangs with my finger. They were sharper than they looked and they cut the skin. A little drop of blood welled up. "Fuck." He was staring at it but he hadn't lost his control. "Do you want it?" I asked holding it out to him. "Just don't bite."
He put my finger in his mouth and sucked the blood off. I pulled my hand back. "It's delicious," He said.
"Um. I'm going to go. I'll see you tonight."
"Bye," I said quietly. I climbed back up the ladder and closed the door behind me. I went down the hall to my room and tried to get some sleep.
Sookie came and woke me up a few hours later. "I'm going to see Alcide; he moved to Shreveport recently, do you want to come with me?"
"Sure. Let me get dressed." I got out of bed and changed clothes and put on a little make up. "Ready to go," I said walking down the hall.
"Alright, let's go." We jumped in her car and drove to Shreveport. When we pulled up outside his house I sighed. "You ok?" Sookie asked.
"Just thinking that if Rachel had stayed with Alcide she could be living in a cute little house like this, instead she came back to Eric and now she's missing."
"If I were her I wouldn't have come back," Sookie said.
"Yeah, me either." We got out of the car and walked up and knocked on the door. Alcide saw Sookie and picked her up.
"Good to see you too," She laughed. He sat her down.
"Lily, good to see you too. How's your sister?" He asked. Giving me a hug.
"Missing? What happened?" I could tell he was concerned. She may have left him but he still loved her.
"I don't know."
"I'll do anything I can to help you find her," he promised.
"When did you move to Shreveport?" Sookie asked.
"A few months ago. I was ready to get out of Jackson after everything with the pack and then with Rachel."
"Yeah, I understand," I said.
"Now what was that favor you wanted to ask me?" Alcide asked changing the subject.
"Well Eric is," she paused looking for the word, "sick and he needs some place to stay," Sookie said.
Then I heard someone come in. "Hey there Sookie. Oh hi, Rachel."
"I'm actually Lily her twin," I said.
There are two of them? Like one didn't cause enough trouble for Alcide. I need to be nice… I heard her think.
"Oh I guess we never met. Nice to meet you Lily. Sookie, I'm sorry about everything before."
"You tried to kill me."
"Wait this is Debbie? The one that tried to kill Rachel?"
"Yep, I did and I am seriously sorry about that. I was really fucked up. But I want to try to make amends if you'll let me."
"Um sure," Sookie said. Debbie hugged her.
"Where's your sister, I'd like to apologize to her too?" Debbie asked me.
"She's actually missing," I said.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Well when you find her tell her I wanted to say sorry, alright?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Can I get ya'll anything to eat?" Debbie asked.
"Actually I'm working the lunch shift, I need to get back. I'll talk to you later." Sookie grabbed her purse and the two of us left. We were about to get in the car when Alcide ran out.
"Sookie, Lily wait! I'm sorry I didn't say anything about me and Debbie getting back together."
"No, I'm happy for you," Sookie said though she didn't actually look that happy.
"So, Eric needs a place to stay?" He asked.
"It was a bad idea. I'm just a little nervous about having him in my house," Sookie said.
"He's living with you?" He asked.
"This isn't your problem. Anyway it was good to see you," She got back in the car.
"Lily, what I said earlier about looking for your sister I meant it. I'll do whatever I can. I loved her."
"Thanks. Well, I gotta go I'm going to be late."
That night I was sitting in the living watching TV when there was a flash of light outside. Sookie and I walked towards the door. Outside was Claudine. "I've come to get you both of you," Claudine said.
"There's no way I'm going back," Sookie said.
"You took a whole year of her life, all of her friends thought she was dead," I said.
"And I apologize for that, but Faerie is your home."
"No, it isn't!" Sookie said.
"I can protect you," she said.
"If you can protect us why didn't you protect Rachel from those witches?" I asked. Claudine didn't have an answer for that one.
"Just stay away from us," Sookie said. We turned to go inside when Eric jumped out at Claudine and pushed her to the ground. He bit her and drank her dry, she disappeared into dust. "Eric that was my farie godmother!"