Look Before You Leap

13 Trust Me


Eric struggled until nightfall. I felt the spell slide away and realized the sun must've set. It was over, the spell was gone and Eric was still alive. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Ok. I can let you go now." I slowly pulled off the chains trying not to hurt him.

"Just yank it off. It's better," he said.

"Oh alright." I pulled it off and cringed as he screamed.

"I just realized I haven't fed since your faerie godmother."

"Right. Um I guess Trublood won't help?"

"I just need to rest."

"No, you need to feed," I said.

"There isn't anyone."

"Well, there's me. "

"Really?" He asked.

"Really. You know my blood is different, like the faerie's. It's half that."

"Hold a piece of chain in your hand; sliver me if I hurt you."

"Ok. Come here," I said moving so it would be easier for him to get to my neck. He leaned towards me and I waited. Then he bit. I jumped a little but realized it wasn't that bad. I relaxed and waited until he was done. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant feeling. He pulled back and bit his own hand and held it out to me. "I'm not hurt," I said confused.

"We will be one." I took his hand and raised it to my mouth.


I was sitting in the store with Antonia and Tara when a vampire came on the television. His name was Bill Compton and he was related to Rachel. I remembered her being so terrified and heartbroken when he disappeared and I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Ileana! are not Rachel Compton you are Ileana Gavilán a powerful witch, not a human girl who is nothing more than a mere child compared to you.

Antonia turned off the TV and got up angrily she knocked over a table of candles and the scattered across the ground. "That's it? One single vampire!" She yelled. "400 years ago every vampire in the area would've been burned."

"Did you really kill every vampire in Logroño?" I asked.

"Of course I did!"

"Wait," Tara interrupted. "You made that vampire go out into the daylight?"

"Our circle did," Antonia said. "Killing them is the only way to protect ourselves."

"I was killed by vampires, and you almost were," I said to Tara. "You understand how little they think of life. We must restore the balance to this Earth!" I felt a pang inside of me. Almost like a physical pain and it was so terrible I collapsed to my knees.

"Ileana! Are you alright?" Antonia asked.

"Of course," I said standing up slowly. The feeling had passed and I was embarrassed to have let that silly human girl's feelings control me enough to physically effect me.

The phone rang and Tara grabbed it. "Moon Goddess Emporium. Uh huh…What do you want Bill?" Bill was on the phone? I wanted to answer it but I knew that would only lead to bad things. Why was I so easily influenced by Rachel emotions? I should be able to control her! Tara sat the phone down on the table and as I listened to the conversation as I walked away to pretend like I wasn't interested.

"Peace?" I heard my sister say. I scoffed even though I was once again having conflicting emotions. I busied myself with rearranging the candles Antonia had knocked to the floor.

"It is the only way to avoid so much useless death. For both our kinds," I heard Bill say.

"Where?" Antonia asked.

"Bon Temps cemetery."

"Midnight." Tara hung up.

"We're meeting him?" I asked.


"You aren't going to go alone?" Tara asked.

"Of course not. Those vampires will kill us," I told her.

"But Bill is offering peace," Tara said.

"Naïve girl. You don't understand," Antonia laughed.


A few hours later I was lying in bed with Eric. "I wish you could stay like this forever," I sighed.

"We could run away," Eric said.

"I can't just run away! When Sookie disappeared Rachel ran away and we begged her to come home. When she did come back she knew that running away really hadn't solved anything it had just made things that much harder."

"But I'd never have to get my memory back."

"Those witches attacked you! And other vampires I love are in danger because of them! My sister might be dead for all I know. We have an obligation to stand by Bill in the fight. He's your king and he's practically my dad."

"I just want to be with you forever."

"There's no such thing as forever."


A little while later Eric and I went to see Bill at his house. "What can I do for you Lily?" He asked.

"We want to fight," I told him.

"Against the witches? Lily, this isn't your battle," Bill said.

"They took my sister and they hurt Eric. If you're in this, then so am I."

"A war is not about winning, it is about fighting for what you believe in," Eric said.

"Perhaps I'm not quite as willing to gamble with Lily's life as you," Bill said.

"It's not really either of your decisions what I do with my life," I said standing up in between them.

"Lily you could die."

"I know. But I don't want any of the people I know and love to get hurt because of what they are. What are we in the 1950's again?"

"Thank you," Bill said.


Eric, Pam, Sookie and I were standing in the trees waiting for Bill to call us out. When he motioned for us we walked forward through the trees. The witch revealed her backup as well. Standing closest to her was my sister. I gasped as did Bill and Sookie. "Rachel?"

She looked at me. "My name is Ileana Gavilán de Logroño. This is Antonia my little sister."

"Oh my god," Sookie whispered. Bill recovered quickly and began talking to Antonia and Ileana about the peaceful agreement they were going to come to.

She's possessed! I said to Sookie.

It had to be against her will.Sookie said.

Well yeah. You know Rachel. Do you honestly think she'd be fighting with a group of anti-vampire witches by her own free will?

How are we supposed to get through to her? Sookie asked.

I have no idea.

I tried getting in her head. It's totally closed off.


"Bill she's casting a spell!" Sookie yelled. Antonia revealed the rest of their witches.

"Now!" Bill called forward the rest of our troops. "Surrender now and no one will be hurt." Eric leaped forward and killed one of the witches and that started the battle. Suddenly fog was everywhere. I could hardly see two feet in front of me. A witch raced towards me and I grabbed her shoulder.

"You don't want to hurt anyone. You are going to go home and never practice magic again," I told her.

"I don't want to hurt anyone. I'll just go home and never practice magic again," she repeated. I released her and she ran away. I hoped she'd get out before one of my side killed her. Then I fell to the ground, a sudden pain filling my abdomen. I pulled back my jacket and saw the blood on my shirt. Someone had shot me; I stared at it unable to even scream. Someone picked me up. I looked and saw it was Alcide, I hadn't even realized he was here. I tried to speak but it was hard to take a breath.

"You have to go back for Rachel. She's been possessed. She loves you…" I managed to get out.

"Rachel would want me to save your life first," he said running through the woods. I couldn't say anything else. My mouth wouldn't work. I couldn't feel anything. My eyes started to slide close. "Lily Compton, don't you fucking die on me."


When Antonia revealed us and I saw Lily my heart stopped. "Rachel?" She asked. I should've known I'd see her here. I should've been prepared. I was torn between myself and Rachel. This was not supposed to happen. I've possessed people before; they would summon a healer to cure a loved one, or a warrior to fight their battles. But this, this feeling of being torn apart, had never happened before.

"My name is Ileana Gavilán de Logroño. This is Antonia my little sister," I said trying to be strong. Bill was explaining the truce we could make and I just wanted Antonia to agree so we could leave. I'd never wanted to strangle my younger sister so much in my entire life. I felt a spell hanging in the air almost like a tangible mist and began chanting it inside my head as well. Once again I was Ileana and there were no extra feelings from Rachel hanging about. I was in charge. Antonia revealed the rest of our witches and several of their vampires ran out of the trees.

"Surrender now and no one will be hurt," Bill said. One of the vampires, the one that had dated Rachel, killed one of our witches and the war began. My sister and I finished casting the spell. A dense fog descended over the cemetery. Antonia grabbed me and pulled me to one side of the cemetery as the fighting started. Eric walked toward us. Antonia raised her hands and made him stop.

"Do you want to do the honors?" She asked.

"This one belonged to Rachel. I'd be happy to take control of him." I repeated the spell that would place him in our control. He dropped to his knees in front of me. I reached out to stroked his hair and laughed.


I could faintly hear voices arguing. I wanted to tell them to be quiet I was trying to sleep, but my mouth wouldn't open. I could feel something wet dripping down my chin and wondered if I was drooling. I tried to wipe it away with my tongue but once again my mouth wouldn't work. The voices were still angry and I tried to force my eyes open to see what was going on since they wouldn't let me sleep but something seemed to be holding me down refusing to let me do anything. Maybe I was just dreaming and maybe this was just all in my head. I was so sleepy.


When we all got back to the Emporium everyone was chattering unhappily. "Shut up!" I yelled. They all stopped and stared at me.

"What the hell did you bring him back here for?" Holly asked.

"He's under our control," I said happily. "Aren't you?" I asked him.

"I am yours," the vampire said. What are you going to do about it now, bitch? I asked Rachel bitterly.

"Go in there and clean up, you're disgusting," Antonia told him pushing him towards the bathroom. Antonia walked outside.

"Join hands, we must cast a protective spell," I told everyone.

Tara stepped forward. "I think I speak for everyone when I say that this is not what we signed up for. I sure as hell know it's not what Rachel signed up for."

I laughed. "Does she speak for everyone?"

"Well she sure as hell speaks for me," Holly said.

"Not for me," Roy said.

"Aw good boy," I said.

My sister walked back into the room. "Ileana, did you see this? It was taped to the front door."

I grabbed the flyer. "A civil rights rally? What is this the 1950s? These are vampires, killers; they don't deserve to be able to walk among us as our equals."

"Maybe not but do you really think we should wipe them out? What right do we have?" Tara asked.

"Have you not realized it's the only way to survive?" I asked incredulously. "I can't honestly believe after everything that's happened to you, you still don't want them all dead." I noticed a few people walking towards the door and flung my hand up locking them in. "No one is going anywhere."


I opened my eyes slowly, afraid to awake from the strange dream. I wasn't sure if I was ready to face reality. Bill and Alcide were watching over me. I smiled happy to have two of my favorite people around. Then I realized someone was missing. "Where's Eric?" I asked.

"My men are already out looking for him," Bill said.

"Lily, come on. You almost died because of fangers. Your sister got tied up in that stuff and look what happened to her," Alcide said.

"Yeah she got possessed by witches. You don't think I noticed? If I can find Eric I can find Rachel and vice versa. They're tied up in each other and in those fucking witches."

"I'm done; with you, with Sookie and with your sister." He walked out. Bill stood up to leave as well.

"Thanks for saving me," I said.



I had fallen back to sleep on the couch and I woke up to a knock on the door. Sookie was blocking my view of the person and I got up and walked over. "Hi!" Debbie said. "Don't tell me, you're Lily right?"


"Oh good. Oh my god! What happened to you?" I looked down and saw my shirt was still covered with blood.

"Oh this? It's fine now. I'll just run upstairs and change." I hurried upstairs and grabbed a change of clothes. I kept my mental connections open to keep an eye on the conversation downstairs. It really sounded like Debbie was offering to help. I ran back down the stairs. "What's the plan?" I asked.

"Oh don't pretend like you haven't been listening in," Sookie said rolling her eyes.

I sighed. "Ok so Moon Goddess Emporium tonight?"


A few hours later Sookie and I were breaking into Moon Goddess Emporium while Debbie distracted Antonia and Ileana. I could hear them in the other room and when I looked I could see Rachel black curls bobbing as she talked. I listened in to Debbie.

She really is someone different. She doesn't remember who I am. What the fuck is going on? God, do I really want her to remember me? I did try to kill her. What if she won't forgive me? Maybe she won't ever have to remember me. Shit Debbie the V is making you crazy.

She's on V again? I didn't have time to think about it I had to get to Eric.

He's in that room. I told Sookie. You watch my back I'm running over there. I opened the door and saw Eric. I hugged him.

"Lily," he said emptily.

"Come on let's get out of here," I pulled his arm.

"You need to leave."

"They put you under their spell didn't they?"

"I'm going to kill the king," he said.

Lily! Behind you! I whirled around to see Tara pointing a gun at me.

"Don't shoot her!" I heard someone yell. I looked up to see Rachel looking at me. "She might be useful." I realized it wasn't my sister it was just Ileana.

"Lily! Listen to me when I'm talking to you!" Tara yelled. Bill's at the Dorchester hotel. Charge me Lily, now! I ran. I pushed her over and Sookie and I ran out the back door.


"Ileana," my sister said getting my attention after Lily and Sookie escaped. "I am taking Roy and the vampire to the rally. You stay here and watch the troops."

"You're leaving me here?" I asked.

"I'm not taking any chances on getting you hurt. If I die tonight you must carry on what I started. Don't forget I'm doing this for you."

"Fine." Antonia left with Roy and Eric and I sat down against the wall. I watched as Tara and one of the other witches tried to open the doors. "That isn't going to work." I sighed. Tara walked over to me and sat down on the ground.

"Rachel, I know you're still in there," she said.

"My name is Ileana."

"I know Rachel is still in there too!" She said. I shook my head fiercely.

"Rachel, your sister got shot."

"My sister is Antonia," I told her.

"No you're real sister, Lily."

"Lily?" I hesitated.

"Yes. But I saw Alcide carry her off, and then she came in here earlier. You saw her. Alcide saved her life."

"Alcide? He's the werewolf."

"Yes and you loved him."

"I did?" I was so confused. I didn't know who I was anymore. I was Rachel and I was Ileana. I was two souls fighting for dominance of one body and I had lost myself. I closed my eyes. I was standing in a room. Both of us were. I was facing a girl with black curly hair and a familiar face and I was facing a girl who looked rough and worn, young but old. We were two different people and one and the same. I tried to peel myself apart to separate the two people from each other.


I was standing there staring at Ileana, her true face. For the first time since I walked into Moon Goddess Emporium with Eric, I knew exactly who I was. My name was Rachel Compton and I was me. "Why did you do this?" I asked her.

"You can trust me. I'm the only person you can trust," she said "We're one and the same."

"No. I'm Rachel Compton and you're Ileana Gavilán."

"Are you sure about that?" She asked.


"See I never lied to you. I promised that I'd help you get your memory back. It seems like you have it back."

"Yeah well you kinda left out that whole section about having to be possessed by witches to remember."

"Everyone else your entire life has lied to you. Your sister, Sookie, Bill, Eric, even Tara, who just helped you remember who you really are by bringing up Alcide."

"What about Alcide?" I asked.

"What about him?"

"Has he ever lied to me, since you seem to know everything about my life?"

"I was you for several days. I know everything there is to know about you. Even things you couldn't see for yourself. It's all about prospective."

"You didn't answer the question."

She sighed. "He never lied to you. And you left him anyway. Oh the irony."

"You don't get the right to judge. You weren't there."

"But I got to relive it. You made a mistake. Just admit it."

"Ok, fine, I screwed up majorly."

"At least you're honest with yourself," She said smiling sadly.

"You aren't though, are you? You keep telling yourself that you want to kill those vampires but you don't really want to do it, do you?"

"Not any more. It was 400 years ago. I've seen things change. I've grown to accept them. Maybe I don't like them but I don't think they deserve to die. After being in your shoes I even know what it's like to love one, even if it was a short and fast burning flame."

I sighed. "Everyone says that about me and Eric."

"Because it's true."

"If you don't want vampires dead why are you letting Antonia go out and kill Bill, a vampire I love?"

"I could stop her, we could."

"You mean you'd have to possess me again."

"Without me you won't even be able to leave this building. Give me one more chance. I'll help you defeat my sister."

I nodded. What did I have to lose? "Ok."


Debbie dropped me and Sookie off at the rally. We ran inside. Bill had just stepped up to the podium and began his speech. "Bill!" I yelled.


"Bill run!"

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