Finding the Heart
Finding the Heart
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Author's Note: I got this idea while watching Mean Girls. I always liked Rachel McAdam's character, and I thought about how it must have felt if your friend bag stabbed you in the back. Then I thought, what if Cady and Regina were dating. Then I thought, what if it was Faberry. And this story was born. I have been working on this story for two weeks. So enjoy. It is mostly Faberry centric, so other characters won't appear as much.
Quinn Fabray, the girl all the boys wanted, and the girl all the other girls wanted to be. She was the bitchiest girl in the school. My friends made me become friends with her to tear her down. Then I got to meet the real Quinn, not the one everyone knew but the nice, smart, caring Quinn. Quinn had finally let me in, and I broke her heart.
It all started with the plan.
I was putting my books away when my best friend was slushied. Everyone around him laughed. Quinn Fabray stood there, not having thrown the slushie, but watching, a smirk on her face. She turned and walked away, all her followers behind her. I sighed and took Kurt to the restroom, to help him get cleaned up.
Kurt Hummel, my best friend due to our need for Broadway, was wiping the slushie off his face. He cleaned up, while I stood there, helping when I can, and leaving when he was undressed. I walked to the choir room with him. All of friends were there because it was the one place we were safe from the bullying, we were safe from Quinn Fabray.
"She needs to know she can't mess with us. She has to know how it feels," Kurt muttered, as he walked to his boyfriend. Blaine Anderson hugged him, and started to whisper soothing words.
"She need to learn a lesson," Mercedes Jones told them, as the other friends nodded. They all felt the same thing, but none of them knew how to make Quinn Fabray pay for what she was doing.
"Rachel," Noah 'Puck" Puckerman said. He was a football player, but he was my cousin. He would never be mean to the glee kids, he had grown up with them, and we were all friends. He knew he would stand by us no matter what.
I looked at him, confused. I didn't know what I had to do with their revenge on Quinn.
"Haven't you guys noticed anything weird?" Puck asked, looking at all of us. He sighed when he saw the confused look on all our faces. "All of us have been slushied, except Rachel. I don't know why, but she doesn't let anyone get Rachel."
My eyes widened when I realized what he said was true. All the glee kids looked at me, wanted me to explain why I was off of Quinn's list.
"Maybe Quinn likes her," Finn Hudson, Kurt's stepbrother, and Puck's best friend suggested. He smiled at me, as if what he said was true.
"Why is Quinn nice to you?" Tina Cohen-Chang questioned, as she looked at me.
I shrugged. I couldn't tell them why, because I didn't know why.
"How is this going to help us?" Kurt asked, causing all of us to turn to Puck for an answer.
"Quinn doesn't really talk to anyone in school except Santana and Brittany," Puck started, causing us to nod in agreement. We all knew Quinn Fabray only had two friends, Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce. She never had a real conversation with anyone else.
"And?" Lauren Zizes inquired, not looking at us.
"We get Rachel to be her friend. She tells us about her, and we can bring her down," Puck explained, as if it was obvious.
I looked at him in shock. I did not expect that. I just looked at my cousin, not knowing what to say. I didn't really want to be a part of this plan, but all my friends looked excited.
"What do I have to do?" I asked, knowing I would regret it.
I had to use the easy way to get close to her. The only thing I could think of.
Quinn Fabray was walking down the hall and stop in front of her locker. I was watching her from my locker. I saw her smirked at Azimo Adams threw a slushie in Artie Abrams's face. I heard everyone laugh, as Artie wiped the slushie off his face. I looked back to Quinn and saw her turn away, the smirk off her face and replaced with something else. I wonder what she was thinking.
'This is your chance. Go!'
I sighed, before walking up to Quinn. She didn't see at first. She was getting her things. She turned around and saw me walking up to her. She watched me as I walked up to her. I gave her a nervous smile. She didn't smile back. She just stared at me with a cute frown.
'Cute frown? Where did that come from?'
"H-hi Quinn. How are you this fine day?" I stuttered, slightly scared of what Quinn would do. I didn't look at her in the eye. I didn't want to make eye contact with her in case she wanted to hurt me. I wondered why she had never wanted me hurt.
She must have noticed my discomfort because her frown disappeared. She had a small smile.
"I'm fine. How are you Rachel? Do you need anything?" Quinn asked, as she leaned against the lockers behind her. Her voice had a little confusion in it. I had never started a conversation with her before, and she was probably wondered what I wanted.
"I-uh, yeah. You see, I'm not doing well in math, and you are at the top of the class. I was wondering if you could tutor me? I just think I can learn if someone else taught it. I'm not saying the teacher is incapable of teaching, but I might learn better a different way. A-and if it wasn't much of a hassle, you would be perfect to teach me and-" she cut off.
"Rachel, it's okay. I'll tutor you," she said with a small chuckle. There was a small twinkle in her eyes, her hazel eyes that I could get lost in.
'What's going on? What is happening to me?'
"Th-thank you. This means so much, I'll uh, I'll just leave you alone. Thank you so much for doing this for me. It means a lot, and I really do want to have great grades. This is the only course in which I'm not good in, and you might just help in that," I rambled, my cheeks heating up.
"It's no problem. I'll be at your house after practice," she said, as she walked away. I just watched as she walked, my cheeks still red. I noticed most of my friends watching, their eyes wide. They probably couldn't believe I actually talked to the Quinn Fabray without her inflicting pain. I just shrugged and walked away to my math class.
The tutoring session had set the whole plan in motion, the plan to hurt Quinn Fabray from within.
Quinn smiled as she stood in the doorway. She wasn't in her Cheerios uniform, but a dress. She looked like an angel in front of me. I smiled and blushed when I realized I had to let her in.
My daddy, LeRoy was cooking dinner when she had arrived.
"Daddy, this is Quinn. She is here to tutor me," I told him, introducing the blond angel to my father.
"Hello sir, it's a pleasure to meet you. You have a lovely home," she told him, politely. It took me by surprise at how genuine she sounded.
My daddy smiled as he shook her hand. "It great to meet you Quinn. Please, call me LeRoy, there are way too many Berrys here."
Quinn nodded, as she took a step back to stand next to me.
"Well we will be in my room, studying," I told him, as I pulled Quinn away. I was nervous to let Quinn into my room. She could always use it against me if she wanted to hurt me.
She entered my room and looked around. The smile was still on her face, and it grew as she looked around. She looked beautiful with the smile on her face
'Stop it. Think of the plan. Become her friend, tell the others what you learn, and then leave!'
"Should we get to the tutoring?" she asked, as she pointed at the opened math book on my desk.
I wasn't lying when I said math was hard for me. I really did need help. I thought this was a way to kill two birds with one stone. Help the others, but I would also get something out of this.
I nodded and sat down. She sat down next to me. She started to explain the equations from the homework I had, and I actually understood it. After a few explanations, I knew how to do it without help. I was so happy I had to hug her. She blushed when I let go. I smiled at her, while she smiled back.
"Thank you," I whispered, not breaking eye contact. I was lost in her eyes.
"No problem," she told me, staring back.
I don't know how long we stood there, but a knock broke away out eye contact. I hadn't realized we had been so close. My daddy poked his head in and looked at us.
"Dinner is ready, Quinn will you be staying for dinner?" he asked. I looked at Quinn, waiting for an answer. I was half hoping she would say yes, but I was also hoping she would say no.
"I'm sorry s-LeRoy, I have to go home. My parents are expecting me home by now. But thank you for the offer," she answered, as she packed her things.
My daddy nodded as he exited the room. It was just Quinn and me.
"So, uh, thank you for the help," I told her, as I watched her continue to pack her things.
"You're welcome. If you need help, don't hesitate to ask. I had a great time. And you are a good student," she answered, with a smirk on her face. She started to walk out of the room, and I followed.
I stopped at the door. I looked around and didn't see her car. "D-did you walk here?" I asked, a frown on my face.
Quinn smiled sheepishly. "I-it's not a problem. M-my mom borrowed my car," she told me.
"I'll ask one of my dads to drop you off," I offered, as I turned.
"NO!" she exclaimed, as she grabbed my wrist. "I-it's okay. I-I want to walk home. I-I need the exercise."
"Quinn, its late," I told her, not wanting her to walk home. I didn't want her to get jumped or worse.
"Please," she whispered, as she took a step back.
I groaned. I took her phone from her hand and added my number. "I want you to call me when you get home, or else."
Quinn nodded quickly. She took her phone back and send me a message to make sure I had her phone number.
"Thank you," she whispered, and she walked away. I watched as she walked down the street, until I couldn't see her anymore.
I didn't have anything to tell my friends after the tutoring session. They bugged me, but I had no secrets. Nothing.
"My daddy liked her. She was polite, and nice," I told my friends for the thousandth time. They obviously didn't believe me. They were all staring at me if I had lost my mind. I had told them what had happened during the tutoring session, and it was taking them a while to accept what I was telling them was true.
"She's a bitch. No one can like her. Sh-she could have giving you the wrong answers," Kurt told her, frowning. He turned to Blaine, who just shrugged.
"I'm telling you guys. She was so polite, so nice. She didn't say one mean to me," I told them. "She didn't say one mean thing about anyone. All she did was help me with my homework. We just talked homework. I walked her out, and then she just walked home. Nothing happened. We didn't really talk about anything else. And I had a quiz. I got a perfect on it. She really did help me, and now I get my class better."
"You need to get closer," Mercedes told me. "You have to get close enough for her to tell you things. You have to get close to her to know about her, things we don't know. Rachel, you have to do this for us."
"What if this doesn't work?" I asked, not really confident in the plan. I didn't want to be a part of it, but I didn't want to let my friends down. They had been hurt so much because of Quinn. She was the reason they were scared to go to school. She was the reason they needed extra clothes. As much as I hated the plan, I wanted Quinn to know that she couldn't mess with other people. She couldn't hurt people for her own amusement. I did want her to learn a lesson.
"It's going to work. She's going to get close to you, Rachel. I heard her talking. She was excited about hanging out with you," Finn told us.
I looked at him in shock. I couldn't believe that Quinn wanted to hang out with me. I knew there was something there, something that gave me hope to a friendship between us.
"Brittany and Santana," Puck said, as he looked at us. There was a smile on his face.
"They are Quinn's closest friends, if not her best friends. They could know things. Be friends with Quinn, but get close to Santana and Brittany. They might just tell you secrets."
I sighed. "Okay," I whispered. I couldn't believe I was doing this. "I'll do it. Let's hope this works."
"It will Rachel," Mercedes whispered. "You just have to believe that it will work."
Matt Rutherford nodded, and turned his attention to me. He wasn't the only one. Everyone was looking at me, with hopeful eyes. Those eyes were what made me do it. I didn't want to disappoint them. I sighed and walked away.
She helped me in math. It was strictly tutoring for a while, and then she started staying for dinner. We hung out without math after that. She had become my friend.
"We've seen this movie five times already. I've had enough of the movie," she whined, as she leaned against me. We were sitting on the ground in front of the television, looking for a movie to watch. I had a copy of Funny Girl in my hand.
"You can never have enough," I told her, as I put the movie to the side.
Quinn laughed, but didn't say anything. She just continued looking through the movie collection my family had.
I just watched her, as she looked through the titles. She bit her bottom lip as she scanned the words. She smiled when she noticed I was watching her. I grinned back, as I moved to my couch. I waited for Quinn to pick the movie that we would be watching.
She put a movie into the DVD player, and then sat down next to me. I leaned against her, as I started at the screen. I didn't know what movie she picked, but I smiled when the movie started.
"Wall-E?" I asked, smirking. I looked at Quinn, who was blushing.
"I like it," she muttered, when she stared at the movie.
I laughed. I shook my head and turned to the movie.
I had fallen sleep. I didn't know when, but I felt so comfortable with Quinn. I only woke up when one of my fathers shook me awake.
"Hey sweetie," he whispered, giving me a smile.
I yawned, and rubbed my eyes. My shoulder felt a little heavy. I turned and I saw Quinn sleeping next to me. Her head was on my shoulder.
"Wake her up sweetie. Ask her if she is staying for dinner," my daddy whispered, as he smiled and moved to the kitchen.
I nodded. I tuned to Quinn. She was asleep.
'She looked like an angel. A sleeping angel.'
I gently shook her. She groaned, but slowly woke up. She blinked a few times, and then started to rub her eyes.
"Wha's goin' on?" Quinn asked, her voice laced with sleep.
"Dinner is almost ready. Do you want to stay for dinner?" I asked, as I watched her stretch.
"I would love too," she answered, smiling sweetly at me. She stood up and walked to the television and looked to switch the movie. She grinned and placed a new movie. She moved and sat down next to me. I waited for the movie to start, and grinned when I saw which on it was.
"The Fox and the Hound? Seriously?" I questioned, wondering why Quinn liked kids' movies.
"Don't mock me," she said, quietly, as she blushed and turned to the television.
I smiled at her before leaning back and watched the movie until my daddy called us for dinner. I had a great time with Quinn, and I was becoming great friends with her.
I got to know the sweet, loving Quinn that she kept hidden.
"Charlie," she told me, as she hugged a stuffed lamb. It had been a few days since the plan was set, and I still hadn't found any dirty secrets from Quinn. It was as if there was nothing hide, and I felt bad for doing this, because Quinn was such a nice girl.
She was showing me her room. It was pretty plain except for a few things. The walls were light green. The covers on the bed were a darker shade of green. There was a nightstand with a lamb on the right of her bed. There was a laptop on the brown desk. There was a television on a small brown table. She had a bookcase, and a movie case. There were a few pictures of her family, of her friends (Brittany and Santana), and of the Cheerios with the Nationals trophy. There were a few posters, a Yale banner, a post card from New York, a few band posters. I saw a stuffed lamb, and when I asked about it she told me its name.
"His name is Charlie," she said, with an adorable smile on her face. She stroked its head, and I knew there was something special about the stuffed lamb. I didn't know why, but there was something familiar about it too. The lamb looked worn out. It had green eyes. It was a plush toy.
"Maybe I saw it at a store. That's it.'
"Where did you get it? How old were you?" I asked, smiling at her. Her eyes had a twinkle that I only saw when we were alone.
"A friend gave it to me. Actually, my very first friend gave it me. I was seven," she whispered, her voice sounding so far away. I wondered what was running through her head, and what friend she was talking about. I didn't ask when I saw a sad look on her face, and she rested the bear back on the bed. She tucked it in, and turned to me. She smiled.
"It means a lot to you, doesn't it?" I asked, as she moved from the lamb. I watched as she grinned at the bear. She had pure adoration in her eyes.
"Yeah. The friend was special. And now, Charlie gets me through the day. He reminds me of that friend," Quinn whispered, as she sat down next to me at her desk.
"What happened?" I asked, wanting to more. The plan was the last thing in my mind. I was really curious to know more about the fascinating person that was Quinn Fabray.
"I moved. I don't want to talk about it anymore. You have a test tomorrow. We need to study," she told me, changing the subject.
I nodded and took out my books. I smiled at her. She caught my eye and smiled back. She looked at the book in between us and started explained the problem to me.
I met her parents. It was horrible.
I was at her house for tutoring. It was one of the only moments that we spend in her house. I hadn't met her parents, while she had dinner with mine once a week. Every time I asked about her parents, she would change the subject. After a while, I stopped asked, knowing it put her in a bad mood.
The same day, I met her parents. Her mother had returned from her church meeting early. She had asked me to stay, and I accepted. I had wondered why Quinn had me over for dinner. I didn't know if it was because of me, or because of a secret she was trying to hide. Of course, it made me jump at the first opportunity to spend some time with her family, as she did mine.
Her father had come home from working. He had worked in a pharmacy. He made enough money to support Quinn's family alone. They were well off.
Dinner was quiet for the most part. The forks scraped on the plates. Mrs. Fabray had made pasta, after finding out I was vegan. I sat next to Quinn, while her father and mother sat at the ends. I had noticed that Quinn was tensed. Her father kept glancing at her, while her mother was in her fifth glass of some alcoholic beverage.
"Rachel, how did you become friends with my daughter?" Mr. Fabray asked, looking at me. Quinn stared at her plate, her posture becoming stiffer.
"She has been tutoring me, sir," I answered, adding the 'sir' part for respect. I twisted my fork on the plate, as I watched Quinn. I could see her trying to avoid any eye contact with her father.
"That's so nice, Quinnie," her mother slurred, as she smiled drunkly.
Quinn's pale cheeks began to redden. I assumed it was due to her mother's drunken state. I started to wonder if anyone knew about her mother's drinking problem, one that I assumed she had. I wondered if it was one reason why Quinn was mean to everyone and didn't let anyone in. It made me want to help her.
I had excused myself to use the restroom. I didn't really need to go, but I felt the need to leave the tensed room, even for a few seconds. I wondered how Quinn lived like that. I wondered how she could like in a house so cold. I wondered if Brittany and Santana knew about her parents.
After taking a minute to myself, I started to head back to the dining room. I stopped before entering, when I heard Mr. Fabray speaking to Quinn. I could hear the anger in his voice.
"How can you have let her enter my house?" he asked her. I couldn't see Quinn, but I had a feeling she wasn't very comfortable. I wasn't comfortable, and I wasn't even in the room.
"Daddy," I heard Quinn say in a small, broken voice.
"No. You can't do anything right. You are such a disappointment Why couldn't you have been like your sister?" I heard him say. I was in shock, at how he spoke to his daughter.
"I'm sorry daddy."
I decided to enter the room. I told Quinn my father wanted me home. I knew she could see through the lie. Her eyes darted to her father before going to me. She nodded as she stood up.
"I'll drive you home," she told me, her eyes begging me to let her drive me.
I nodded, knowing Quinn needed to go. She followed me out of to her car. She drove me to my house in silence. I could tell she had a lot in her mind by the way she was gripping the steering wheel.
"I'm sorry about my parent. That's why I didn't introduce you to them before. I know you heard what my dad said, and I'm sorry," she whispered, keeping her eyes on the road ahead.
"It's okay, but lets keep the tutoring session at my house," I offered, giving her a small smile. I hoped it would lighten the mood a little.
She smiled softly and nodded. "Of course. See you tomorrow Rachel Berry."
"Can't wait to see you Quinn Fabray," I responded, smiling. I exited the car and walked to my door. I waved as she drove away. I knew then, that there was a lot I didn't know about Quinn.
She told me things no one knew. Things she didn't tell her best friends.
"Remember Charlie?" she asked me one day. We were in the auditorium. It was lunch, and we didn't want to be with our friends. We decided to have lunch together.
I nodded, as I took a bit of my sandwich.
"My friend, that gave it to me was my first friend ever. I wasn't the girl you know now. I was bullied. I had zits; I was chubby. I didn't have friends. Nobody would talk to me. Then a girl talked came up to me and started to talk to me. She made me feel special," she whispered, looking at the seats in front of us.
I didn't know why the story sounded so familiar. I waited for her to continue. I had always thought Quinn was perfect. I thought she looked perfect since her birth.
"My parents told me I were moving one day, and when I told her, she gave me a stuffed lamb she was saving for my birthday. I moved with my parents to Fairbrook Township. I went to Belleville Middle School. I was bullied there too. I was the only kid at school who had to dissect their own frog because nobody would be my lab partner," she continued, her voice becoming a whisper.
"The lamb?" I questioned, knowing the stuffed animal was so familiar. "I remember a lamb. I gave one to my best friend." I had giving it to my first friend. She had moved, and I wanted to give her something to remember me by.
"Lucy," she muttered. I looked at her in shock. I hadn't heard that name since I was a child. I didn't know how she knew that name. I stared at her, wanting to hear her tell me how she knew that name. "My name is Lucy Quinn Fabray."
My eyes widened. I turned to her, wanting to know more. "You were my first friend," I whispered.
She nodded, still not looking at me. I wanted her to look at me.
"What happened?" I questioned, moving closer to her.
"You mean how I became like this?" she asked for clarification.
"Yeah," I told her.
"Well, I joined ballet, lost a little bit of weight, found out I was athletic and joined gymnastics and cheerleading, went on Proactiv for my acne; and, when my dad got transferred he got a raise, and I asked him if I could get a nose job, and he said yes, and I asked them to call me Quinn," she explained, nodding. She looked at with sad eyes.
"Is that why I don't get bullied here?" I asked, keeping eye contact with her.
"You became my friend when no else did. Everyone else bullied me. I didn't want you to feel like I did," she told me. "I couldn't let you get hurt. Have you ever wondered what happened to Jesse?"
Jesse St. James was my ex-boyfriend. He was a part of a rival glee club. He joined to hurt the club. A few weeks before the competition, he cracked an egg on me, along with his original club. The next week, before he transferred back, he came to school with a broken arm. No one knew what happened, but everyone knew not to hurt me. I always wondered who had hurt him. The guys in the club had no idea about it.
"It was you?" I questioned. I had not expected her to do something like that.
"No one can hurt you. Not when I'm around," she whispered, as she smiled at me.
"Does anyone know about this?" I inquired, wanting to know who she had told.
"Only you and my parents know about Lucy. San and Britt know about Jesse," she answered, as the bell rang. We got our things and headed for class. I couldn't believe she trusted me that much.
She became my best friend again.
I exited my house and grinned when I saw Quinn waiting for me at her car. When I had agreed to the plan many weeks ago, I had never expected to become best friends with Quinn again. When I found out she was Lucy, I wanted to make up for all the time we lost. We started to hang out even more.
Quinn had gotten me a teddy bear. It was small, light brown, and the same size as Charlie. She was smiling when I opened the box the bear was in. She had asked me what I was going to name it, and I told her the first name that came into my mind. Lucy. She blushed, when she heard me say it.
I was laughing. I hugged the bear close, and kissed the top of the head.
And now, Quinn picked me up every morning. She would drop me off. She still had dinner at my house, and I hadn't had dinner at her home.
"How are you?" I asked, that morning. She picked up a bag that had my breakfast. "Thank you."
"No problem," she answered, smiling. She slid into her seat and waited until I was inside and had my seatbelt on. She drove to school, as I ate what she had bought me.
"What are you doing this weekend?" she asked, as we arrived at school.
"Ballet rehearsal," I answered. I smiled as we got out of the car. Many people stared, they weren't used to seeing Quinn smile at someone. They all assumed she was heartless, and when she smiled at someone for the first time, someone who wasn't Brittany, they were tripping on there own feet to know why. People started asking me questions, trying to figure out why she was being nice.
They got no answered, but it was still weird to them to see Quinn the way I did.
"Want to hang out at my house? My parents are going to Columbus this weekend. Britt and San are coming over, but I'm always the third wheel," she told me. She walked me to my locker, before heading over to hers.
"I would love to."
Quinn grinned as she leaned against the locker that was next to mine.
I went to her house that weekend. Santana had decided to have a party at Quinn's house. The glee kids jumped at the chance to see Quinn's house. I walked around, searching for Quinn who I hadn't seen for hours. I found her in her room. She was lying down, her eyes closed, and a red cup in one hand and an almost empty bottle in the other. She looked annoyed, and didn't notice me. I closed and locked the door and walked to her. I took the cup and bottle from her and placed them on the nightstand. She had opened her eyes, and watched me as I moved around the room.
I got a blanket from her closet and moved to her bed. I lied down next to her, and wrapped us with the blanket. She moved closer to me. I could smell the alcohol in her breath. I knew she had been drinking alone in her room. I didn't know why it had bothered me so much knowing Quinn was alone.
"I miss how we used to be," she slurred sleepily. I looked at her and thought about how cute she looked. Her blonde hair was messy, she was tugging the blanket to warm herself up, she was curled up next to me, and rested her head on my shoulder. Her eyes were half opened, as she looked up at me. "You've always been my friend."
I smiled softly at her, not knowing what to say. I didn't know how that sentence made me feel.
"You've always been my best friend," she whispered, as she got comfortable.
"And you're becoming mine again," I told her, before following her to sleep.
She joined glee club to be a part of something that was meaningful to me.
"We have three new guest who would like to join this club," Mr. Shue told us, as we looked at the three cheerleaders standing before us. Quinn smiled at the club, while Santana looked indifferent, and Brittany was grinning.
All my friends frowned, probably wondering why they joined. They looked at me to see if I knew they were going to audition, but I shrugged, telling them I didn't know about it.
They did a rendition on Say a Little Prayer, and got in. I had not expected Quinn to have a great singing voice. Brittany and Santana were great too. I wondered if they would be doing any solos themselves. I could imagine them doing other songs together. The Unholy Trinity, what the other students called them, were perfect together.
I was mesmerized by Quinn's voice and piercing hazel eyes. She grinned at me when she finished the song. Mr. Shue clapped, and congratulated them for joining the club. Quinn moved to sit next to me, and Brittany and Santana sat on her other side. I gave her a confused look, but she just smiled at me. I didn't ask until the class was over.
"Why did you join?" I asked her, as she drove me home. She had started giving me rides to school and back. I liked riding with her. She would come to my door with a muffin, to start out my day.
"You always talk about glee club, and I wanted to be part of something that made you happy," Quinn answered, giving me a shy smile. My eyes widened, as she admitted that piece of information.
"That means a lot Quinn. Thank you," I whispered, my cheeks heating up. I turned away, and looked out the window, thinking about a reason Quinn would do that for me.
"You know, I can see why you like glee so much. All the kids are really nice, and so accepting. They didn't say anything about me joining, even after all I did to them. I thought they would have at least kicked me out as a way to get back at me," she told me, grinning. She looked so happy, and it made me feel sick. I couldn't tell her about the plan. I couldn't tell her they were trying to get back at her.
"Yeah," I muttered, feeling horrible. I couldn't look at her.
"You know, I think I might like glee too. I can finally be me without anyone else judging me," she continued, as she stopped in front of my house. "Here we are Rachel. See you tomorrow."
"Bye Quinn, Thanks for the ride," I told her, not wanting to show her the shame I felt for being in a plan to hurt her.
"No problem," she answered, giving me a loving smile. It gave me butterflies when she smiled like that. I got out of the car and walked to her door. I waved as she drove off.
She told me she was falling for me.
We were at the park, the playground to be exact. I had just gotten my grade for my math midterm, and I was going to tell Quinn about the grade I had gotten. We were sitting on the swings, side-by-side, not saying anything. I had both feet planted on the ground, while Quinn was using her toes to slowly swing herself back and forth.
She knew why we were there, and was nervous. We had spend hours studying and going over past tests. We had put so much time on this exam, and she wanted to know if it paid off. She was biting her lower lip, not making any eye contact. She was staring at her shoes.
"Do you want to know?" I asked, grinning. She couldn't see expression if she wasn't looking at me. I knew this was torturing her. She had told me how she thought I was ready for the midterm, and how I was going to pass it with a B plus or higher. She had so much faith, and it was what made me try my hardest.
She nodded slowly, as she shoved her shoe covered feet deeper into the sand.
"I got an A," I whispered, and giggled when I saw her snap her head towards me with the biggest smile on her face. She jumped onto her feet and gave me a hug.
"You did it," she whispered into my ear, as she spun me around. "We have to celebrate!"
She had seemed so excited, so I suggested ice cream. She nodded quickly and dragged me to the closest vegan ice cream parlor she knew. She just talked about how proud she was of me, and how she knew I could do it.
It warmed my heart knowing how much faith she had in me. After getting the ice cream, we headed back to the park, but towards the pond instead. I had noticed Quinn seemed so nervous, and I was wondering why. I was nervous as well. I didn't want to lose any friendship I had with Quinn, and my mind was thinking of bad scenarios.
We sat on the ground, as stared at the pond in silence. I was eating my ice cream while she was finishing hers. She looked so nervous, and scared. I could tell she had a lot in her mind by the way she looked. She would shake her head at times, as if she was erasing a thought.
"What is it?" I asked, wanting to get this conversation over with.
She looked at me and smiled. "You're my best friend. You mean so much to me, and I don't want to ruin it. But these last few weeks made me feel different. You make me feel special Rachel, and I can be myself around you. I don't have to put up a façade. I can be who I want to be, and it's making me fall in love you."
I stared at her in shock. My eyes were wide, as I stared at her.
"You make me feel like I can be anyone I want to be. You're fun and you're kind and you're beautiful. You are special Rachel, and I am lucky to have you in my life. IT makes me fell even more in love. You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know," she whispered
I didn't say anything, as I stared at her. I was still in the state of shock. Just then, before I could say anything, my phone rang. It was my daddy he had wanted me home to celebrate my A in math. They also know I was having trouble in the subject and wanted to celebrate the small success. I extended the invitation to Quinn, but she declined, saying she had to go home. She smiled at me and walked me to my class. I knew then I couldn't go on with the plan. I had to end it.
The plan blew up in my face. The plan I wanted no part in.
I walked into the choir room where my friends were standing. "Guys, I don't want to do this anymore. It's gone too far. Quinn, she's not the girl you guys think you know. She's more than that," I told them, as they all stared at me.
"What happened?" Tina asked, concern in her eyes. All of them looked concern, but they were also curious.
"I-I think I fell for her. I can't do this to her," I told them,
"Rachel, you can't love her. She's a bitch. She deserves this. She hurt all of us. It's a matter of time before she hurts you too," Kurt told her, frowning. He stood up, ready to hug me if he had too.
"I-I can't. I want out," I told them. "I don't want to hurt her."
"Too late," a voice said behind me. I paled, as I turned. I was face-to-face with Quinn. She had a heartbroken look, as she looked at all of us. "Wh-what were you going to do?"
"Quinn," I whispered, trying to take a step towards her, but she took a step back.
"What were going to do?" she asked, angry. I couldn't blame her. Her heart was being messed with, and no one deserved that.
"Rachel was going to get close to you, so she could know your secrets. She'll tell the others, and they'll use it against you. They were going to hurt you," another voice said. Santana walked behind Quinn and glared at all of us. Brittany, who was next to her, looked at us with a disappointed look.
Quinn laughed humorlessly. It send shivers down my spine. Her broken eyes turned to me.
"You guys don't get it. You don't get me. You don't get how bad it is. You don't get how horrible I feel for what happens to you guys, or anyone for that matter. You guys don't get what it feels like to be me. I wish I didn't have to do what I do. I wish I could be strong, but I'm not. Rachel probably told you about my parents, right? So you guys know, my dad, he expects me to be above all of you. He expects me to make sure you guys stay at the bottom. And I'm sorry. If-if I don't do this, it won't end nice. And I hate myself. If this is how you guys want me to feel, congrats. You guys hurt me, not enough I assume. So whatever, hurt for all I care, I'm done. I quit," she told us, as she took a step back. She turned, ready to leave, but I couldn't let her go.
"Quinn—" she cut me off.
"No Rachel. I know what you are going to say. You didn't mean for this to happen. You met the real me, and you didn't want to do it anymore. You wanted out. You didn't want to hurt me. But that's the thing. It all hurts the same. I love you, Rachel, I really do. I just, I think it's best if we never speak again. Goodbye Rachel," she whispered with tears in her eyes. She walked out of the room, leaving all of us speechless.
So here I am. Trying to make it right, because I fell for Quinn Fabray.
"Quinn," I tried. It had been a week, and Quinn hadn't talked to me. I didn't know how much our friendship meant to her. She was deeply hurt by the betrayal. She looked at me with her still broken eyes.
"Rachel, please," she whispered. "Leave me alone."
She turned and walked away. Santana was glaring at me from across the hall. She was pissed that I hurt her best friend. She was pissed that her best friend was in a lot of pain. She mouthed the words, 'Fix it, now'.
I nodded and turned around, trying to think of a way to fix what I had done. I needed to Quinn to know I was sorry about what I had done, and that I still loved her. Glee club also wanted to apologize, after losing three members. They had seen that they had never tried to get to know Quinn, and to know why she was the way she was. They were ashamed of themselves, and were willing to do anything to get Quinn's forgiveness and get the Unholy Trinity back in the club,
I gave them my plan, and with Brittany's help, we had set the plan in motion.
Quinn walked into the auditorium, wondering why Brittany wanted her there. She saw the whole glee club with me on stage. Santana and Brittany were off stage, watching the scene unfold.
"I want nothing to do with you guys. You all made it clear that you don't want me around," she stated, getting ready to leave.
"Quinn, wait!" Kurt exclaimed. "Rachel didn't want to be a part of this. We forced her. She knew it was a bad idea. She never told us anything big. She didn't want to ruin your trust. And you were right. We never got to know you. We just knew what we saw, and it was wrong. We let our anger cloud us, and we want to get to know you, the real you. We want to show you we are sorry."
Quinn's eyes watered, as we all sat on stools in front of her, with the exception of Finn, Sam, and Puck, who were with their instruments. Santana motioned for Quinn to sit down, while she and Brittany sat on either side.
(Rachel, All, Girls)
I never promised you a ray of lightI never promised there'd be sunshine every dayI'll give you everything I haveThe good, the bad
Why do you put me on a pedestal?I'm so up high that I can't see the ground belowSo help me down you've got it wrongI don't belong thereOne thing is clear I wear a halo I wear a halo when you look at me But standing from here You wouldn't say so You wouldn't say so if you were me And I, I just want to love you Oh I, I just want to love you
I always said that I would make mistakes I'm only human and that's my saving grace I'll fall as hard as I try So don't be blinded See me as I really am I have flaws and sometimes I even sin So pull me from that pedestal I don't belong there
One thing is clear I wear a halo I wear a halo when you look at me But standing from here You wouldn't say so You wouldn't say so if you were me And I, I just want to love you Oh I, I just want to love you
Like to think that you know me But in your eyes I am something above me That's only in your mind Only in your mind
I wear a, I wear a, I wear a Halo
One thing is clear I wear a halo I wear a halo when you look at me But standing from here You wouldn't say so You wouldn't say so if you were me And I, I just want to love you Oh I, I just want to love you
I just wanna love youHeya Hey Hey Hey…Hey Hey Halo Heya Hey Hey Hey…Hey Hey Halo Heya Hey Hey Hey…Hey Hey Halo Heya Hey Hey Hey…Hey Hey Halo
Quinn stared at them not sure what to say. Everyone left, wanting to leave the two of us alone.
"I'm not perfect," Quinn muttered, once she was sure everyone was gone.
"I know, neither am I," I responded, as I sat at the edge of the stage, in front of Quinn.
"I forgive you," she told Rachel. "Its just, when you wanted to be my friend, I thought it was because you remembered. You remembered me, but you didn't. So I thought it was because you felt a connection, you know. And it hurt when I found out the real reason why," Quinn told me, as she looked at me with tear filled eyes.
"That wasn't the only reason I wanted to be your friend. I wanted to know why I was special to you. Why you made sure I wasn't bullied," I told her.
Quinn looked at me. "I still love you, but I can't be with you, not right now."
I nodded. "I understand. In time, we'll cross that bridge when we cross it. Will you return to glee club? We miss you."
Quinn giggled and nodded.
"Can I hug you?"
So long story short, I became friends with Quinn Fabray to bring her down. But we fell for each other, but I broke her heart. And now I have to rebuild it. For now, I just get to show her I love her.
She is still groveling.
No, I am not!
Stop lying. You have a lot to make up for.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Song: Halo by Bethany Joy Lenz.