Life of Lily

New Friends and Assuming the Worst

Edited: March 17, 2012

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

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James felt as if a load of bricks had been dropped on top of his head the moment Lily told him what was behind the Memory Charm that was put on her. This meant that Voldemort's followers were actually taking action. In the Daily Prophet you heard of all the threats made by the death eaters, but no one ever knew if those threats were carried out. You see, none of them got mentioned in the paper. It was as if the Ministry was trying to make things seem not as bad. Now, now he had an idea of what was going on. But, it happened to Lily, his Lily. It made the future look so much worse.

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The next morning Lily was released from the Hospital Wing, but she was only a strand of her old self, maybe even a wisp. She walked around as if she were a corpse, with no feelings or cares. Her mind focused on one thing and it was as steady as her own heartbeat. It's my fault…It's my fault…It's my fault. She felt worse then she did the day she had learned of her parent's tragic deaths.

At mealtimes she hardly ate and when she was asked a question in class her voice cracked from its recent lack of use. Lily no longer had any will power to do anything. Why should she? She would find herself just sitting in the common room staring into the fire night after night. She would even discover a bit of solace in watching the little firework show the flying sparks gave off.

At first, her friends had tried to help. Alice and Marlene tried to snap her out of it, but it was no use. They would mutter words of encouragement when they saw her and often gave large hugs, but to no avail.

Remus commonly left a bit of chocolate by her side. He said it was the best emotional medicine. That didn't seem to make any difference either.

Sirius was the one who would just sit at her side every night. He didn't say a word. His presence was the only thing that had been tried that gave her the least bit of comfort. He wasn't treating her like a china doll. He was just being there.

James on the other hand was too distraught himself to try and relieve some of her pain. His way of showing it was just different. On the outside he was just fine, but on the inside he was in shock.

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In a week's time, Lily decided that enough was enough. She tried to reduce the problem, but she knew it would never disappear. She laughed and seemed herself again, but on the inside she was still broken. Only those closest to her realized that something was still off (The Marauders, and Alice and Marlene). They all decided to ignore it and hope that she would slowly continue to return to the Lily they knew and loved. They completely forgot that their friend wasn't quite right the day after they made their decision…all but Sirius anyway.

That second week of December was amazing compared to the first and laughs were heard all around as the sense of Christmas arrived.

"Hello Sunshine, miss me?" Sirius said jokingly as he slid into the seat next to the right of Lily.

She was obviously deep in thought and Sirius noticed that her smile quavered a bit and her eyes were shining slightly as if they were filled with tears moments ago. Those three awful words were still playing in her head. It's my fault.

"Why of course I did! Why wouldn't I miss my favorite marauder?" she said playing along while trying to forget what she had previously been thinking about. It seemed to be the best method.

They received many laughs from their friends. James, who was on Lily's left, was the only one who really didn't find it funny, but he choked out a laugh anyway.

"You know what Lilykins?" he asked grabbing both her hands in his tightly, "We should run away together! Lets leave this cruel world and escape to a land of ice cream and lollipops!" She grinned.

"Oh my Siri-bunny! I thought you would never ask!" she shrieked and added an obnoxious giggle for effect. Everyone else guffawed.

Then Sirius stood up, with her hand still in his, and dragged her out of the great hall behind his skipping. Everyone smiled at the friends' antics and resumed eating their breakfast on that soon to be eventful Saturday morning. Several of the group found it strange that Sirius actually pulled Lily away, but they figured that if it was going to make her happy, it didn't matter.

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Once Sirius finished skipping out of the Great Hall, his face took on a much more 'I mean business' look. His grip on Lily' hand became tighter and he dragged her outside to sit under the favorite tree of the Marauders and Lily and her friends. He conjured up a blanket so that when they sat down, the snow wouldn't get them wet. He knew Lily was probably terribly confused so he took a seat and pulled her down with him. She let out a high-pitched shriek and landed in his lap and he looked at her in a way she had never seen him look at her before.

"No, Sirius. This can't happen" she said matter-of-fact tone and stood up to leave. Had Sirius somehow developed a crush on her without her realizing it?

Before she walked away, she saw something she never thought she would ever see. Sirius Black was blushing. It made her back track and wait for some sort of explanation.

"No Lily, I don't think of you that way either…it was a total accident." He said rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Lily took a seat beside him and smiled to show she understood. That sure was a relief.

"I-I just…Lily, I know something's wrong, and I want to help you because I almost feel like it's my job to do something about it because no one else realizes what's going on!" he said quickly.

Lily then understood what that look had said before. It was a look of love, just as she had thought…but it was a lot different then how she sometimes caught James looking at her…it was just like how her parents looked at her or how she used to look at her sister. Sirius had become the brother she never had and she was his never existent sister. They did understand each other better, but that was because they had gone through a lot of the same dilemmas.

Sirius had lost his brother just as Lily and lost her sister. Sirius had lost his parents just as Lily had lost hers even if it was in a different sense. They both had to stay strong in order to get through life and sometimes only people who know what you're going through can make a difference.

James would always be there for Lily too, but in different ways. He would always be there to comfort her and make her feel loved, but he couldn't reduce the problem.

Lily found herself burst into tears as she thought of how lucky she was to have such brilliant friends who knew her so vey well. Sirius put his arm around his shoulder just like he did in the Great Hall before Hogsmeade, but this time he pulled her close and whispered words of encouragement in her ear.

Lily set her head on Sirius's shoulder as she had done to James after her parents had passed, but this time it was also different then the previous. She didn't feel warm and tingly, like fireworks were going off, like she did last time. This time she felt finally understood and she felt like she could confide anything to this boy…anything about her sorrows or worries or anything about the crush she might have developed on James.

The two friends sat there in that spot for a long while just savoring the silence until Lily decided to break it.

"I killed my parents Sirius," she whispered in a haunted voice. She buried her head in his shoulder and he pulled her closer.

"Lily, please tell me what you mean." He said equally softly.

"T-they wanted to recruit me…and I said no so they killed them…it's my fault." She sobbed.

Sirius now understood the deep sense of sadness Lily felt. She thought herself a murderer for doing the right thing.

"Sunshine, did you set the fire?" he said pulling her head away from his shoulder and looking her in the eye.

"N-no" she said slightly confused.

"Then perhaps you set the dark mark across the house?" he asked.

"No" she said more steadily this time.

"Then you have absolutely no reason to blame yourself what-so-ever." He said strongly.

"But Sirius! If,"

"If what Lily? If you would have joined his side you really would be responsible for the loss of lives." He said before she could finish.

Finally, Lily saw things in a whole new perspective. Maybe Sirius was right…she wasn't even there when it had happened…why would she be responsible for killing them?

Sirius could tell Lily was starting to understand so he decided to skid over to a happier topic. A topic that had absolutely nothing to do with what they had previously been talking about.

"Do you remember how in the fifth year James was bald for a month, Sunshine?" he said grinning at the memory, Lily nodded her head.

"Well, that all happened just because James stole Remus's chocolate." He chuckled. He knew the subject was random, but it was something no one else knew.

She laughed long and hard at the memory of James's face as he walked into the Great Hall that day and how Remus kept himself at least ten feet away from him at all times just in case James decided to hex him back.

"Do you remember how during Halloween in the fourth year all the pictures in the school had mustaches for the semester?" Lily asked trying not to laugh.

"Yeah! We got blamed for that and were given a week of detention! It was a great prank though." He said wistfully.

"Well, it was me who did it." She said giggling.

"Well I never! Who knew Little Miss Sunshine here had a taste for the fine art of pranking!" he said laughing along.

"I actually did it because Marlene told me I was boring and never liked to have any fun." She said.

"I'm sure that showed her! Do you remember when," he started.

They continued in this manner until lunch. Each telling each other a story that they knew would make the other laugh or smile. It made Lily truly happy for the first time in quite a while.

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James watched green with envy as his best friend, now ex-best friend, sat with his arm around the girl of James's dreams. Sirius was able to make her laugh…something James had been trying to do since she lost her parents. He couldn't believe his best friend would do this to him! James let that guy live with him and he was stealing Lily away!

After they walked out of the Great Hall, holding hands of course, he had left once her finished breakfast (in about an hour's time) to investigate and find out the reason why the two were missing. He only got his heart broken in two when he saw them smiling and laughing together cuddled up close.

It was decided; Sirius was no longer his brother.

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Ooooo, James is seeing the wrong side of the story and assuming the worst! Sorry for the cliffhanger…again. New chapter will be up soon!

P.S. What do you think of James's jealousy?

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