Life of Lily

A Setting Sun and Birch Tree

Edited: July 15, 2012

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

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The sky was a rosy pink with streaks of gold and red and the sun was just about to go behind the mountains. When Lily looked up she could just make out the dark blue that was about to signal nighttime. Her tears were still flowing as she hugged her knees to her chest. 'Why did this have to happen' she thought, filled with bitterness. She shifted against the birch tree in order to be a little more comfortable. She was still clutching a note that had just been sent to her.

This is your fault! I HATE YOU! NEVER talk to me again you freak! I don't know why you couldn't be normal because if you were our parents wouldn't be ASHES!

The letter wasn't signed but Lily recognized it immediately even though it was littered with tears at this point. 'Why does Tuney have to hate me?' Her sister must not realize that she was hurting too. Maybe even more then Petunia was hurting because deep down, Lily really thought it was her fault and it made her feel sick.

What would have happened if she had never gotten that letter stating her claim to go to Hogwarts? This awful letter almost made Lily feel worse then the one telling her that her parents had died. This was because without Petunia…Lily had no one left to share her pain with. No one who knew what she was going through.

At least Petunia had Vernon. They had gotten married on September 2nd just so that Lily wouldn't be able to go to their wedding. Petunia's hatred ran too deep for her own good.

Ever since the day Lily had discovered she was a witch a deep aversion to her younger sister ran through Petunia. The fact that they had always been best friends was tossed aside because in her mind, Lily wasn't the same little girl she loved any longer.

"Lily…are you okay" she heard a deep recognizable voice say to the side of her.

"Uh…Y-yeah" she said quickly wiping the tears off of her face, more then embarrassed.

She turned her head and emerald met hazel; it was James. 'His eyes really are gorgeous' she thought before shaking out of it. She looked down to the green grass, scared to meet his gaze again. She thought that her mind must really be messed up for her to think something nice about her sworn enemy.

It was true though; James had changed. Ever since their sixth year he'd been different. He was more mature and understanding, less arrogant and conceited.

"Did…did Alice tell you?" she sniffled, hating the silence.

"No" he said handing her the letter she got in Dumbledore's office. "I'm sorry, it fell out of your pocket and I thought I could help you…"

Lily's tears came back. Her tears were rather random and had showed themselves at the strangest moments now. Once she thought about it though, it wasn't really that strange.

She felt James's strong hand on her shoulder and she forgot about him being an arrogant prick for a few peaceful moments. Right now all she needed was a hug. She realized she would probably need a lot of those this year. She had no doubt that she wasn't the only one either.

"Lily, tell me what's on your mind." James whispered. She stubbornly shook her head.

"I don't wish to throw all my pitiful problems at you." She sobbed.

"Lily, please talk to me! Please! You can't bottle it up like this Lils!" He said, disappointed that she didn't seem to trust him.

He noticed that this was the first time Lily didn't say anything about him using some variation of her name and he almost smiled.

Her features crumbled and her bottom lip quivered. James could see that she was about to crack and spill everything to him whether she wanted to or not. What he heard surprised him.

"James my sister hates me! Ever since Sev told me I was a witch she's hated me! She either ignores me or insults me mercilessly every summer and I can't take it! I love Tuney to death and she can't do anything but glare at me!

I try to push all my bad memories of her aside and focus on the good ones. The only problem is that the good memories we have are of when we were seven! I remember dressing up like princesses and going through our mom's make-up, I remember creating forts out of pillows together and I remember chasing down the ice cream truck with her and seeing who could buy the weirdest flavors. That all stopped and I don't want to have memories that were made 10 years ago!

Whenever I try to find nice memories of while I was at Hogwarts I end up remembering how she locked herself in her room for a week after my first year and I remember how she told my mom she didn't want me home when her boyfriend was over because she didn't want him to see how much of a freak I am. She hates me! Now, it's even worse! James, she blames me for their death!" she was sobbing uncontrollably at this point.

James's heart broke into a million pieces at how broken she was. He slung his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him, forgetting that he might get hexed for touching her.

He momentarily tensed up as she snuggled closer into him instead of pulling away like he expected. That feeling of surprise dissolved quickly and he placed his head on top of Lily's. Her tears were soaking his shirt, but he couldn't care less.

"This time she actually told me she hated me! She has never done that before! It was always the insults that hinted at it, that felt like shards of glass were thrown at me. This time it feels like she threw bricks! She said she hates me and never wants to talk to me ever again…she said that if I was normal my parents wouldn't have died! The worst part is that I think she's right! Death Eaters killed my parents and I think it's my fault! If I was a normal muggle like I was supposed to be…they would still be alive and-"

"Lily stop talking now" James said gruffly. "You will NOT blame this on yourself! You are not a bad person because you are a witch! Imagine all the things you couldn't do or couldn't see if you weren't one!" she finally looked up into his eyes.

Her eyes were as emerald as ever and shining with tears. He loved those eyes. They seemed different every time he looked at them. One day they would look like jewels and the next they would look like she stole the color of an evergreen tree. She was stilled wrapped up in his arms and she almost looked scared at what he was trying to say to her.

"If you weren't a witch, Marlene and Alice would have killed each other when they got to Hogwarts!"

Lily knew he was right with that point. Alice and Marley hated each other at the beginning of their schooling. Lily brought them together and proved that Alice's soft and quiet disposition and Marlene's sunny, crazy attitude worked perfectly together when they had someone with a kind heart and fiery temper between them.

"If you weren't a witch you would have never helped Remus become okay with his condition and Sirius would have failed potions! If you weren't a witch the Marauders would be in detention every single night of the year for the rest of our lives!"

Thinking these things over, she realized most of these were true. She had discovered Remus was a werewolf in their second year. A full five months before the rest of the Marauders figured it out. He was convinced that Lily thought of him as a monster and he wouldn't talk to her for three weeks after she confronted him about it.

She remembered dragging him to an empty classroom and yelling at him for an hour about how he wasn't a monster, about how he was just as normal as she was and that sure, one night a month he was a little different, but he was still Remus.

Remus had actually kissed her once she was finished screaming. He was elated that there was someone out there that didn't despise him. Their friendship was in fact strengthened a great deal afterwards.

Sirius was another matter all together. At first Lily thought he was as conceited as James and most of the time she still does, but after a full year of partnering with him for Potions (Professor Slughorn wanted Lily's talent to rub off on him apparently) she thought he was okay. Eventually they became pretty good friends in a quite strange sense even though either of them would never admit it out loud.

She snapped out of her thoughts when James said something that startled her.

"If you hadn't become a witch…I wouldn't have met you." He placed a chaste kiss on top of her head and untangled himself from her. She blushed a color to match her hair when she realized their legs had been intertwined and he had been holding her hand. He stood up, ran a hand through his hair, and turned back to her.

"I hope you know you could tell me anything." He whispered before walking back to the castle.

Lily froze for a moment. She had just told the details of all her problems while snuggling the boy she had despised for six years.

One part of her was disgusted at how vulnerable she made herself…but the other part dared to think that she almost enjoyed talking to someone who wasn't a girl. Maybe…maybe Lily wasn't just a trophy for James to get…maybe he actually liked her. Maybe he wasn't actually that bad.

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