SupernaturallyLokid would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Dumb Ways to Pie

By SupernaturallyLokid

Humor

Dumb Ways to Pie

"Hey, man, Cas and I are running to the store to restock some supplies. You need anything?" Sam yells towards the kitchen, shrugging on his jacket.

"Bring home some ice cream. I'm making apple pie." I yell back. Suddenly, Cas appears right behind me.

"That sounds most agreeable, Dean." I let out a shaky breath, removing my hand from the handle of my knife.

"Cas, we talked about this. Personal space, remember?" Cas nods, backing up.

"I am sorry. Is this a more appropriate distance?" I nod.

"Go on, now, before Sam leaves you. Don't let him hurt Baby!"

"I will protect your car with my life," Cas solemnly swears. I roll my eyes, turning to preheat the oven.

"Go on, now. This pie isn't going to make itself." Cas disappears, followed by an angry sounding huff from Sam. He's the only person that I know that can make his Bitchface audible.

"Cas, we've had this discussion before. If you don't want to get ganked, don't pop up behind me." Sam's voice fades as he and Cas walk out to the Impala. I turn back to the counter and look at the recipe that I laid there earlier. According to Bobby, it's a famous Campbell recipe, the same one that my mom used to use.

"Okay, so I need 6 apples, sugar, flour, cinnamon, salt, nutmeg, and lemon juice." I quickly gather all of the needed ingredients, setting them on the counter. I take the pre-made pie crusts and pat them into the pie pan, before beginning to chop up the apples. I hum Metallica while I work, throwing all of the needed ingredients in a bowl. That done, I begin looking for the handheld mixer that Sam insisted that we buy.

After locating it and putting it together, I plug it in and prepare to mix together the ingredients. My thumb clicks the switch up to the lowest setting, and immediately, the beaters whir to life. "That's the lowest setting?" I ask myself incredulously. With a shrug, I lower the beaters into the mixture in the bowl. Not a second later, and a cloud of sweet smelling powder is covering every available surface, including myself. "Son of a bitch!" I swear, coughing. I catch a glimpse of myself in the microwave door and do a double take.

My entire face is white, covered with a sticky mixture of apple, sugar, and flour. My hair is matted down, sticking up in random spikes. I groan. Sticky stuff is harder to wash out than blood. Still, Sam and Cas are expecting a pie, and I can't let them down. Sam would give me the puppy eyes, and it'd all go downhill from there.

With a washcloth, I wipe down my face and try to get as much of the filling out of my hair as I can, before wiping down the countertop. "Okay, let's try this again." I pick the mixer up and cautiously click it to the lowest setting. It jolts to life, looking just as menacing as before. Cautiously, I lower it into the bowl.

Almost immediately, I am covered with filling again. "That's it!" I explode, shutting the mixer off and slamming it down on the counter. I've faced demons that were easier to deal with than this thing! I storm out of the kitchen, still covered in filling, and go to find my bag.


I push open the front door, my arms full of the groceries that Cas and I just bought. I take a deep breath, hoping to catch a whiff of apple pie. Dean's always been the better cook out of the two of us. "Huh, that's strange," I remark.

"What is strange?" Cas asks, coming up behind me.

"Dean is supposed to be making pie, but I don't smell anything." Suddenly, I hear Dean's voice coming from the kitchen.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica." I instantly set my bags of groceries on the couch and draw my knife, motioning for Cas to be quiet. Slowly, we creep out to the kitchen, where Dean is chanting. The sight that meets my eyes is certainly not the one that I'm expecting.

Dean is standing on top of the counter, covered head to toe with what looks like apple pie filling. His hair is matted down, except for a few random strands that are sticking straight up. The counter and surrounding space is also completely covered with the mixture. On the floor, in the middle of a bright red Devil's Trap, is the handheld mixer that I bought a few weeks ago. "Dean, what the heck is going on here?" Dean turns to me, a terrified and wild look in his eyes.

"Those Chinese people are trapping demons in mixers and shipping them off to America. The whole situation is crazy! Like, "dingo ate my baby" crazy! That thing is possessed, I tell you! Possessed!" I cross the kitchen, careful not to step in the sticky mess.

"Hey, man, it's okay. It's not possessed. With a little practice, you'll be able to use it like a pro, I promise. Suddenly, the mixer whirs to life. I shoot Dean a panicked look.

"The damn thing isn't even plugged in!"

"Maybe it is possessed," I mutter, beginning to chant the exorcism spell with Dean.


In the midst of the confusion, neither brother notices that Cas is nowhere to be seen. Cas sits on the counter, invisible, chuckling as he makes the mixer run. And Dean thought that angels don't have a sense of humor.


Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, SupernaturallyLokid
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Regina Lum: While the plot so far is kind of linear and loosely follows Pride & Prejudice's plot, I find this version of Pride & Prejudice a very enjoyable read!! I read all 13 chapters in one sitting!! I can't stop myself from reading!I hope to read more and feel the love blossom between Elijah and William!...

Jhanleigh Nhicolle: The setting of the story was good. The author delineated the whole ambiance clearly that can be easily portrayed in the readers minds.I liked how the author changed the point of view from Adam to Evie. The author had truly identified their POV differently by writing their names on top. It is a ni...

A: This is a really really good book.

jamiewu905: I really love this story. The moment I read the plot, I was captivated by the story. It was like being addicted to this story- I couldn’t stop reading until I read the end.

Cristi C: Love the idea behind the story. I had a lot of fun reading it. Quite a bit of editing needed but overall it was a good short read. I believe the author could expand certain areas to make it mesh better. I will say Bobbie is the best character and in a way the parents too.

More Recommendations

Allyssa: Omg, please give us more! Pretty sure I've seen this particular book on Inkitt Exclusive Reads, so congratulations on being published. The story is nearly perfect, very well written and perfectly executed. The plot is spot on, and the prose is good as well. I have to commend the author on how fla...

AryaTara: Very fresh and interesting read. I couldn't keep it down for later. I enjoyed the way the story flowed seamlessly. Keep up the good work

deee_ro: Read this book in a couple of sittings and have kept it!!! Not one to read books again, but the story, the atmosphere, the descriptions, the humour, all right up my Blackpool street. Very cleverly written, sets the scene from the start, love how you get to really know the characters, must've look...

{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.