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Green Eyes

By SupernaturallyLokid

Poetry

Green Eyes

When she got into the car that dayShe thought that they were going to a playShe didn't know that she and her friendWould soon be meeting their untimely end

They trusted me to keep them safe from dangerBut I didn't see the blue Ford RangerThey blew through the traffic signDrifted over the center line

I tried to brake, but my foot slippedThe car rammed us, and then we flippedWe rolled all the way off of the shoulderAnd something under the hood started to smolder

I grabbed them both and dragged them outPrayed to God that someone would hear us shoutBoth of the girls collapsed on the groundNeither one made a single sound

My body shook with silent criesAs I watched the light leave their eyesAll those who know them will be in sorrowTheir green eyes will never see tomorrow

So, what do you think? Is it absolutely terrible? Should I try to continue with poetry? I'd appreciate any suggestions I can get! Remember, this is my first poem, and I don't have any prior knowledge on how to write a poem. Reviews are much appreciated!

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, SupernaturallyLokid
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Deitaro: This one is my absolute favourite so far. It made me think and this is a real rarity considering any kind of writings nowadays. Just.. so much emotions, passion is radiating from the whole text, countless metaphors and i should go on with it till eternity. This definitely needs to be continued. I...

Makayla Danielle Waits: Just finished one of the most amazing books I have ever read. I connected to it in a way I can't quite put to words. It was as if this person was speaking to me, and me only. Telling me her stories and struggles and how this person handled them and how they worked or how they kept trying; but all...

Richard D. Cooper: I wish I could write poetry like this. It's clever because it also tells a story, too. I like the flow of it, the way sentences slip together as they should. Very good indeed. I have also started to read your others works, and will review them when finished. Keep going. Never stop.

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