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My Best to Be Everything You Need

By Erica Pacumbaba

Romance / Drama

Don't Close Your Eyes

"I got this, Felix," Demetri smirked at the bigger vampire. "Don't worry about it. Just hang back and act like it's a vacation."

"Vacation. Right," he muttered.

Demetri's smirk faltered. Felix inwardly sighed. He knew he was being more melancholic these days. Had been for the past few centuries. He didn't know why. He knew he rivaled Marcus when Felix had his worse days, and that others like Demetri worried about him.

Felix gave a wan smile to the other and Demetri gave him a mock salute before leaving him behind in the ordinary house they'd secured. Frowning, he looked back at the house and left it, glad for England's usual horrid and rainy weather. He walked around aimlessly, looking at all the others. The contacts in his eyes felt odd, but necessary to blend in and not attract anyone.

Forlornly, he tilted his head back and let the rain pelt his face, barely feeling the soft sensations. Sighing, he righted his head and nearly startled in surprise, strange as that was for a vampire.

A girl sat on the seat of one of the swings, with her long raven hair doused with water and clinging to her. She was only wearing raggedy jeans and a shirt that seemed much too big on her, but seemed uncaring as she barely swung on the creaking swing. However, that was the most he could see of her, since he was behind her and was only confronted with her back.

Felix watched her for a few moments longer, unsure what his problem was, but he ended up walking closer to her and around to face the girl that had somehow captured his attention without doing anything. He sniffed lightly. Nothing. She smelled of nothing.


"You shouldn't be in the rain," he said quietly.

"Neither should you," she replied back, even without looking up to see or talk to him.

He could now see how petite she was exactly, and that her shirt really was too big, slipping off one shoulder. Her skin was much too pale and he could almost mistake it as a vampire's skin.

"Let's find shelter," he said simply and held out his hand.

It surprised him a bit when she stopped her lazy swinging, and then actually decided to reach out and grab his hand. Her hand was ice cold in the way that human skin got when rain and the weather chilled it to the point of icy feeling. It didn't bother him a bit –he was probably even icier than that.

Closing his hand around hers, he began the walk out of the park as he led her and she followed without a single word to each other.

He didn't know where he was going or where he was leading her. He wasn't one to know the area, and had basically led her around in circles. She hadn't said a single word to him again since earlier, and hadn't mentioned their aimless travels.

Felix didn't even know her name.

The fact was, he hadn't even got a real good look at her yet. He didn't know the color of her eyes, the shape of her face, whether or not her lips formed a scowl or a smile or if she had an expression on her face at all.

He didn't even know what he was doing with this human.

Without any other place to go to, Felix reluctantly brought her back to the house that he was staying in. He'd opened the door and then stepped in, before glancing back at the girl and wondering if she'd come in or not.

She was staring through the doorway, but had yet to take a step into the house. And yet…he'd finally had a glimpse of her face and caught sight of her eyes. They were the most vivid green he'd ever seen, more than matching the most elegant and beautiful emeralds ever crafted in the world.

And then she was stepping into the house and it felt like she was stepping into his world. Not the vampiric world he lived in, but his own personal little world –his own personal bubble where he lived and thought and no one could intrude.

Except apparently her.

Felix mentally shook himself out of his thoughts and closed the door behind her. Without uttering anything to her, he trekked to the hallway closet and retrieved a towel. He tossed it to her and she caught it neatly, absentmindedly patting herself down before putting on her head and roughly rubbing her hair dry.

"If you want to take a shower, you can. Just go down this hall and take a left. Last door there," he said gruffly, keeping his eyes averted to the floor. "I'll charge up the heater."

He could feel more than see her shift awkwardly in her spot, before leaving him behind. He let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. And then wondered why he'd bothered or how it had even come to that.

When he heard the bathroom door close, he sped out of the house and went to the grocery store. He had enough time to get a few things before she was done. Having just gotten there and the house being empty before he and Demetri had arrived, there was nothing there for him to fix up for a guest.

He hadn't even expected to have any guests over in the first place. Hell, it had only been one day and already he had landed himself into a complicated mess.

Sometimes, he hated how much of an awkward and introverted person he was.

As he finally made it back to the house, he frowned as he realized that the shower was no longer on. He almost thought she'd gone, if it hadn't been for the sound of her heart beating steadily and coming towards him.

"Hey, you're back."

He turned around and tensed. She was dressed in only a dress shirt, one of his, with her legs bare and her hair hanging damp around her face. Her emerald eyes were unreadable, and her face spoke of nothing but troubles in her life. She looked exhausted actually.

"I hope you don't mind," she pinched the collar of his dress shirt and tugged on it slightly. "My clothes are soaked and I didn't have anything to wear. Your pants are way too big, so I decided on just one of your shirts –you're a pretty big guy and it dwarfs me enough not to need pants, I think."

"It's fine," he murmured, putting down the groceries on the kitchen table.

"You went shopping. Pretty quick," her voice sounded surprised as she tacked on her last observation.

"Yeah…Thought you'd like something and there wasn't anything here," Felix ignored the silent question in her words.

He didn't want her to find out what he was. He couldn't do that to her. It would be like a death sentence over her head.

"Is there some soup?" she asked inquisitively.

"Depends," he smiled slightly, feeling slightly mischievous. "What's your name?"

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

He chuckled and looked over at her, seeing her smirking a little.

"Felix," he gave her an acknowledging nod.

"Harry," she gave him a small smile.

There was a bit of vulnerability in it, that he was surprised to note.

"Is Harry short for anything?" he asked curiously, trying to take her mind off of whatever had been bothering her.

Because something had to be bothering her. She wouldn't be in the rain on a swing for who knows how long. She wouldn't be following a complete stranger around, and even enter his "home." And she wouldn't look so small and seem so vulnerable if she wasn't bothered.

"No," she said stubbornly, pursing her lips.

"That's a big yes," he grinned (when was the last time that had happened?).

"I'd never tell you what it is," she huffed and treaded over to him with light steps.

"I'll get it out of you one way or another," he firmly declared, grinning widely now.

She rolled her eyes, but reached his side and had leaned into his space, reaching around him to finger one of the freesias prettily displayed in a vase in the middle of the table.

"Freesias…I love these. They smell wonderful."

'Why can't I smell you? You don't tempt me –I don't want to drain you at all.'

He smiled, hoping it didn't look sad. "I'm glad. This place doesn't have much, but at least the little it does seems enough."

She plucked a freesia out of the vase and tucked it behind her ear, the long stem hilariously sticking out behind her head.

"Do I look nice?" she grinned impishly.

"Wonderful," he said sarcastically in a playful manner.

She straightened up and gave another sad smile. He wanted to wipe it off and make her happy. He didn't understand these strange urges, but for some reason he wanted to do his best to make her happy and not look so empty.

"I'll make you some soup," he slowly reached up and the tip of his fingers flitted lightly against her cheek.

"Thank you," she murmured, her eyes fluttering and hiding the verdant color as her eyelashes caressed her cheeks.

He couldn't remember if he'd been remembering to pretend to act like a human all this time.

Felix felt a bit enchanted.

"Sit tight, Harry," he whispered.

He tried to keep his focus on the soup he was boiling, but as he kept glancing over to her, he saw her sitting by the window and looking out it with empty eyes. She sat on the window seat, one of her legs tucked underneath her and the other hanging over the seat.

The soup was thankfully finished and he turned off the stove, immediately heading to her and enclosing his marble-like arms around her and holding her tight. He tried to be careful, hoping not to crush her, but unable to help a tight grip as he tried to relate to her the comfort he wanted to give her.

"My soup will get cold," she told him in amusement, though he could hear the tiredness seeping into her very being in her tone.

"I'm sorry," and yet it was an apology that meant a lot of things.

She gently pushed him away and walked over to the cabinets, searching until she found a bowl and then some utensils, and went to serve herself some soup.

"Are you eating?" she asked lightly.

"No," he murmured. "Not hungry."

He still didn't feel like drinking her blood.

Felix just sat in her vacated spot by the window as Harry sat at the table and ate her soup quietly. And when she stopped eating suddenly, and covered her eyes with her hands and began crying into them, he sat there and took a shuddering breath as if he was still human.

He wanted to be everything she needed, but he couldn't seem to be anything.

He was doing his best to comfort her, and offer any comfort he could. But it seemed he couldn't be anything she needed.

Felix wondered if he was just making her feel emptier than she was already feeling.

"Don't cover your eyes," he whispered, trying not to feel so much pain. "Cry your pretty little heart out, Harry. Don't hide those green, green eyes…"

Let me see your pain…

"If you hurt, let me see. Share it with me?"

He was a stranger. Of course she wouldn't. He didn't even care why he cared so much.

But he didn't even flinch or was surprised too much as he suddenly had an armful of a petite girl, who was breathing harshly against his still form. Merely accepted and went along with the change of the moment, and adjusted to hold onto her.

And when she moved away slightly and sat on her knees in front of him and between his legs, he only stared back steadily. She gave a quirky grin, even though her eyes were still teary and sad.

"Dibs," she teased.

Harry kissed him.

Felix was unsure on what he was doing, what he's trying to do. He only knows he's kissing her languidly and carrying her to his room, and he's already opening the door before he realizes what this is leading up to.

He's only momentarily stopped before Harry's slender hands take his cold, hard face and brings his lips back to hers.

He could control himself in this, he knew that. He could do this.

So Felix let himself go and brought Harry to the unused bed (that wasn't really his, but kind of is now). His large hands, icy and yet she didn't say a word about that, slid underneath his dress shirt that she'd worn and was on her warm skin. He felt goosebumps pop up, no doubt at the cause of his skin temperature (and maybe even because of his touch).

Her hands were nimble as they unbuttoned the dress shirt, and he'd reverently touched her breasts at the same time as she slid his dress shirt off of her slim shoulders, and falling down her back and to the ground as he molded his hands to full breasts with just the slightest of pressure.

As they moved together in the quiet and stillness of the room, Felix wondered how his past self would think about sleeping with a human.

He wouldn't have even thought of it, like he was unsure of the notion right then.

But even unsure, he probably wouldn't do things any differently. Not when the greenest of eyes were teary for another reason than the sorrow they seemed plagued with, a small smile directed at him was carved by the softest of lips, and his cold body was embraced by the warmest being ever born.

Because Harry seemed so warm, and it wasn't just her body warming him up.

He feigned sleep afterwards, just like she seemed to. It might have even been an hour later when he felt Harry slowly move away from him, and the warmth of her body left his. He kept his eyes close as he pictured her moving to the dresser in the room, using his hearing to identify what she was doing. A swish of paper and pen being placed onto it, and then writing…

Felix could open his eyes right now. He could open them and show he wasn't sleeping after all.

But he hesitated and his eyes stayed closed.

He heard Harry get up from the dresser not too longer after, and headed towards himself. She was bending over him and he felt a light kiss on his temple before she spoke with a tremble to her voice.

"If no one else…at least you then…please remember me, won't you? Remember me…Remember Harry."

He heard the door close behind her.

The doors to the castle banged shut behind them and Felix examined the brunette curiously. So this was the human Edward Cullen had fallen in love with, huh? Not bad. Pretty, soulful eyes, heart-shaped face…

She glanced at him curiously and he grinned back at her.

"Dibs," he teased her, winking suggestively.

Bella smelled like freesias, he'd noticed.

Her cheeks flushed a bright red, and he walked forward cheerfully, hiding the pained tinge to his grin from the others.

When the whole debacle was over and done with, Felix could only muse to himself.

He didn't think Edward loved Bella like he'd loved Harry.

Still loved.

His room was quiet and empty. Sometimes Felix felt like it too, but he had better days. Better than he had been before Harry.

Now his melancholy came more when he was thinking about her, instead of just being there for seemingly no reason.

Walking over to his desk, he fingered the slightly aged paper card tenderly. Flipping it over, he read the words that were burned into his mind, even without his vampiric memory.

Thank you.


In the end, he finally did get to find out her full name.

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